生活幽默英语故事阅读
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来生活幽默英语故事三则，希望大家喜欢!
生活幽默英语故事：戒除烟瘾
Health is not valued till sickness comes.
生病才知健康好。
A defendant in a lawsuit involving large sum of money was talking to his lawyer.
一个被告卷入了一桩牵涉大笔资金的诉讼案，他去找他的律师。
A:If I lose this case, I'll be ruined.
如果我输了这场官司，我就完了。
B:It's in the judge's hand now.
这事掌握在法官的手上。
A:Would it help if I sent the judge a box of cigars?
如果我给法官送一箱雪茄，会不会起点作用?
B:Oh.no !This judge is a stickler for ethical behavior.A turu like that would prejudice him against you. He might even hald you in contempt of coun. in fact.you shouldn't even smile ai the judge.
哦.不会的!这位法官很固执，非常注意职业道德。这种花招只会让他对你产生偏见，他甚至会认为你蔑视法庭。事实上，你甚至都不用对他微笑。
With in the course of time,the judge wndered a decision in favor of the defendant.As the defendanL leR the counhouae,
最后，法官作了一个有利于被告的判决，当被告离开法院时。
A:Thanks for the tip about the cigars.It worked.
谢谢你关于雪茄的忠告，这很多管用。
B:I'm sure we wodd have lost the caae if you'd sent them.
如果你送了的话，我肯定休会输掉这场官司。
A:But did send them.
但是我的确送了。
B:What? You did?!
什么?你送了?!
A:Yes.That's how we won the case.
对，这就是我们会赢这场官司的原因。
B:I don't understand
我不明白。
A:It's easy.I sent the cigars to the judge,but enclosed the plaintiff's business card.
这很简单，我把雪茄送到了{去官那里，但是附上了原告的一张名片。
生活幽默英语故事：个人理财
A silvedess mon goes fast ihrough the market.
身上无钱，市场疾行
There once was a rich man who was near deeth. He wru very grieved because he had worked so hard for his numey. So he began to pray Lhat he rmght he ahle to take some of his weakh with him.
曾经有一个富人快要死了，他租伤心，因为为了钱他才拼命工作，他想把钱带着一起上天堂，因此他开始祈祷恳求他能随身带一些财产.
A:Sorry,but you car't take your wealth with you.
对不起.你不能带走财产。
B:Could you speakto Cod to see if he might hend the rules?
你跟上帝说说情吧，看能否网开一面?
(Then he continue to pray his wealth could follow him,and the angel reappears.)
他继续祈祷能带上财产，天使又出现了。
A:The Cod has decided to allow you to take one suitcase with yourself.
上帝允许你随身带一个手提箱。
(Overjoyed.the man gaLhers his largest suitcase and fills it,with pure gold bar s and places it beside his hed.Soon afterward the man dies and shows up at the Catea of Heaven to greet St.Peter. Peter sees the suit-case.
富人欣喜若狂，拿了他最大的手提箱，里面装满了金条，然后放在床边。不久这个富人死了，出现在天堂门口向圣彼得致意。圣棱得看到了那只手提箱。)
C:Hold on. you can't bnng thatin here!
放下，你不能把那东西带到这儿来。
B:But I have pennjssion and you can verify ny stcuy with the Lord.
但是我已经得到丁许可，你可以到上帝那儿证实一下。
C:You are rigt.You are allowed orie carry-on hag. Bm i'm supposed to check it's contents before letting through.
没错，你可以带一只手提箱，但我要检查一下里面是什么东西才能放行。
B：OK.
好的。
(Then he opens the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found to precious to leave behind.
于是圣彼得打开手提箱检查那位富人舍不得留在尘世间的宝贝。)
C:You bought our pavement?!
你把我们这儿铺地砖带来了?!
生活幽默英语故事：八卦娱乐圈
Be on your guard when people flatter you.
有人吹捧你的时候，千万要当心。
Harry saw an ad in a window.It said:"Wanted.The Beat Salesman in the World.Top pay." I'm a eTeat salesman. Harry told himself.I can sell anything. PIl go in and ask for Lhat job. He wem into Lhe build-ing and spoke ro the manager.
哈里在橱窗上看到一则广告。上面写着：“招聘世界上最好的售货员，报酬优厚。”我是一名了不起的售货员，哈里自言自语，任何东西我都能卖出去，我要进去应聘这份工作。他走进大楼去和经理说这件事。
A:I'm the besl salesman in the world.Give me the job.
我是世界上最好的售货员，把这份工作给我吧。
B:You must prove you're the best.
你必须证明你是最好的。
A:I'll pass every test you give me.
我会通过你给我的每一次考验的。
B:Good
好。
The manager took a box of candy out of his desk.
经理从桌子里取出一箱糖果。)
B:Last week,I bought a thousand boxes of this candy. If you can sell them all before the end of the week,you can have the job.
我上星期买了IOOO箱这种糖果。如果你能在周末之前把这些全卖出去，你就能得到这份工作。
A:That's easy.
这很简单。
( He took the hox of candy and left the office.Every day and all day.,he went from shop to shop, trying to sell boxes of the candy. He couldn't sell one. The can dy was so bad he couldn't even give it away.
他拿着这箱糖果离开了办公室。每天从早到晚，他从这家店走到那家店，竭力想卖出这1000箱糖果。结果他一箱也没卖出去。糖果质量太差，以至于送人都没人要。)
A: I'm sorry, sir, I was wrong about myself. I'm not the best salesman in the world, but I know who is.
很抱歉，先生，我搞错了。我不是世界上最好的售货员，但我知道谁是最好的。
B:Oh. Who?
哦，是谁?
A:The person who sold you a thousand boxes of this candy.
是把这1000箱糖果卖给你的人。