生活幽默英语笑话

在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来生活幽默英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

生活幽默英语笑话：大众传媒

Curiosity killed a cat.

爱管闲事，自己吃亏。

Jack's father and the professor are talking about Jack.

杰克的爸爸正在和教授谈论杰克。

A:Why did you fail Jack in his examination, and tell him he would have to leave the university?

你为什么给杰克不及格并让他必须退学?

B:Because he really cannot continue his study in the univversity.

因为他确实不能在大学里继续他的学业了。

A:But he is a good boy. If you let him pass this time. I'm sure he will make a progress next year and pass the examinations at the end of it really well.

可他是一个好孩子。如果这次您能让他过关，明年他一定会大有长进，而且在年终的时候能够非常出色地通过考试。

B:No,too,that's quite impossible! Do you know, last monthI a sked him when Napoleon died, and he didn't know!

不，木行，那是根本不可能的，你知道不知道，上个月我问他拿破仑足什么时候去世的，可他居然会不知道。

A:Please sir,give him another chance. You see.Iam afraid w e don't take any newspapers in our house, so none of us even knew that Na- poleon was ill recently.

先生，请再给他一次机会吧。您要知道，恐怕是因为我们家里没有订报纸吧，所以我们全家甚至没有一人知道拿破仑最近得了病。

生活幽默英语笑话：电影风暴

Mr.and Mrs.Jones seldom go out in the evening.But last Satur-day, Mrs. Jones want to go to the cinema.

琼斯夫妇晚上很少出去。可上星期六，琼斯太太想去看电影。

A:There is a good film at the cinema tonight. Shall we go and see it?

今晚电影院有场好电影，我们去看吗?

(Mr. Jones was quite happy about it. So they went and both of them en-joyed the film very much!When they came out of the cinema, it was al-ready 11 o'clock. They got into their car and began driving home. It was quite dark.

琼斯先生对此感到非常高兴。于是他们便去了，他俩儿都喜爱这部影片。当他们从电影院出来时已经11点钟了。他们赶紧上了车，开始朝家开去，天色很黑。)

A:Look，Bill. A woman is running along the road very fast, and a man is running after her. Can you see them?

快看，比尔!有个女人正沿着公路飞快地奔跑，后面还有一个男人在追她，你看见了吗?

B:Yes, I can.(Driving the car slowly near the woman)Can I help you?

是的，我看见了。(把车慢慢地开到女人身旁)我能帮助你吗?

C:No, thanks. My husband and I always run home after the film because whoever gets home late will wash the dishes.

不，谢谢。我和我丈夫每次看完电影之后总是跑着回家，因为谁最后到家，谁就要洗盘子。

生活幽默英语笑话：疯狂舞会

This story makes the proverb"Like father, like son"come true.

这个故事正应验了“有其父必有其子”那句谚语。

A:I had much trouble with my son Dick.

我现在管不了我儿子迪克了。

B:You should not worry about that in the least for I had trouble withmy daugllter too.

你用不着担心，我也经常与我女儿发生矛盾。

A:I suppose Dick's like me that way too I believe.

我想，迪克随我。

B:That's not bad.

那并不是件坏事呀!

A:That's just too bad.I told him time and again not to do wh atI did but to do what I told him to do.but that didn't seem to work at all.

问题就坏在这里了。我三番五次地告诉他，不要照我做的去做，而要照我说的去做。可似乎根本没有用。

B:Look here,Bill,suppose you just tell me what's happened and I'Il try to work things out for you.

比尔，看着我，究竟发生了什么，你快告诉我。我将帮你理出个头绪来。

A:Well,I sort of told Dick not to go to see striptease ladies, for he could see tllings he actuallV shouldn't and what do you think he did?

我，呃，呃……告诉他不要去看脱衣舞女郎，因为他可能会看到不该看的东西，你知道他怎么了?

B:What?

怎么?

A:Believe it or not. that was exactly what he did,and do you know what he saw there7

信不信由你，他恰恰那么做了，你猜他看到了什么?

B:Er,well,I am not much of an expert but I can guess what the boy...

呃，这个方面我不是专家，不过我猜想那孩子……

A:That's it.You've guessed it right. He saw me there.

没错，你猜对了，他看见我在那儿。