生活幽默英语笑话三则
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来生活幽默英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
生活幽默英语笑话：生日派对
On a special Teacher's Day,a kindergarten teacher was receiving gifts from her pupils. First, the florist's son handed her a gift.
在教师节里，一位幼儿园教师正在接受孩子们送给她的礼物，首先花匠的儿子递上他的礼物。
A:I bet I know what it is...some flowers.
我敢打赌我知道里面是什么……是一些花。
B:That is right, but how did you know?
是的，可是你是怎么知道的呢?
A:Just a wild guess.
瞎猜的。
(The second pupil is the candy store owner's daughter.The teacher hands her gift over head.
第二个学生是糖果店老板的女儿。老师把她送的礼物举起来。)
A:I bet I can guess what it is...a box of candy.
我敢打赌我知道里面是什么，是一盒糖果。
C:That's right. But how did you know?
对了，但你怎么知道的?
A:Just a lucky guess.
碰巧猜出来的。
(The third gift is from the liquor store owner's son. The teacher holds it over head but it is leaking. She touches a drop of the leakage with her finger and tastes it.
第三份礼物来自于酒店老板的儿子，老师把它举起来，但有液体漏了出来，她用手蘸了一滴漏出来的液体，尝了一下味道。)
A:Is it wine?
是果酒吗?
D:No.
不是。
(The teacher repeated the process touching another drop of leakage to her tongue.
老师又用舌头尝了一滴漏出来的东西。)
A:Is it champagne?
是香槟吗?
D:No.
不是。
A:Now, I give up. What is it?
好吧，我猜不着了，里面到底是什么呢?
D:A puppy.
是一只小狗。
生活幽默英语笑话：狂欢圣诞
A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street.
小镇的一个警官让一个在主大道上超速驾驶的摩托车手停下来。
A:But officer, I can explain.
长官，请听我解释。
B:Just be quiet, I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back.
闭嘴，我要让你在监狱里冷静冷静，直到警长回来为止。
A:But，officer, I just wanted to say. . .
但是，长官，我只是想说……。
B:I said to keep quiet!You're going to jail!
我说过闭嘴，你要进监狱了!
(A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner.
儿个小时后警官去看囚犯。)
B:Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back.
幸亏警长今天参加他女儿的婚礼去了，回来后他心情肯定比较好。
A:Don't count on it，I'm the groom.
别指望啦。我就是新郎。
生活幽默英语笑话：新潮电玩诞
Professor is handing out the examination papers to a roomful of students.
教授正在给全班学生发考卷。
A:You will have exactly two hours. Under no circumstances will accept a paper given to me after the deadline has passed. Do you under-stand ?
你们有整整两个小时的时间，超过规定时间交上来的考卷，不管什么原因，我绝对不收，明白吗?
B:Yes.
是。
( After two hours.两小时以后。)
A:Time is up.
时间到。
B:Wait.
等一下。
(About 15 minutes later. A students come to the platform and give his paper to the professor.
大约巧分钟以后，一个学生走向讲台，并把卷子给了教授。)
A:Didn't you hear what I said?
你难道没听到我说的话吗?
R:Yes，I did. But do you know who I am!professor?
不，我听到了，但你知道我是谁吗，教授?
A:No.
不知道。
B:Terrific.
太好了。
Then he stuffed his paper into the middle of the pile.
然后他把他的考卷塞进整堆考卷中。