超短爆笑的英语笑话大全

笑话是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环,从古至今都拥有广大的受众,深受人们喜爱。本文是超短爆笑的英语笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

超短爆笑的英语笑话篇一

Good excuse 巧妙的借口

Police officers hear plenty of excuses from people caught parking only for the handicapped1 persons.

Once a policeman stopped a man for doing so. When the man was questioned if he knew the parking regulations. He answered correctly. Then the policeman further questioned why he was parking his car there.

"Oh, I injured my leg last week. The doctor said I would become disabled if I didn't get proper treatment. Now I'm experiencing what I feel like to be an disabled person."

当那些正常人因把车错停在专供残疾人用的停车位而被警察抓到时，他们总是能找到各种各样的借口。

一次，一个警察阻止一个人把车停在残疾人的专用位上。当警察问他是否知道这个停车的规定时，他说她知道。然后警察接着问他为什么还故意把车停在那儿。

那人回答说：“哦，上星期我摔伤了腿，大夫说，如果我不很好治疗，我就会变残疾，现在我想先体验一下作个残疾人是什么滋味。”

超短爆笑的英语笑话篇二

An unexpected call 意想不到的电话

Mrs. Brown dialed her daughter's number and sang out, "Hello, darling. How are you?"

"Terrible, Mom. My back is killing1 me, the children are acting2 up, the house is a mess…and I'm expecting guest for dinner."

"Don't worry, darling. I'm coming right over. I'll feed the kids, clean up your place, and cook a dinner your guests will never forget."

You're an angel! How is Dad?"

"Dad? Sweetheart, you know Daddy died nine years ago."

Pause. "What number are you calling? Hold on? Please!" the voice wailed3. "Does this mean you are not coming over?"

布朗夫人给她女儿拨了个电话，然后高兴地说：”哎，亲爱的，你好吗?“

“太糟了， 妈妈。我的腰疼得很厉害。孩子们一直在闹，房子里乱七八糟的，我还要为六为客人准备晚餐。”

“亲爱的，别着急，我马上就来。我会把孩子们喂饱，清理好房子，然后给客人们做一顿难以忘怀的晚餐。“

“你真是个救命的菩萨，爸爸怎么样?“

“你爸爸?亲爱的，你这是怎么啦?你爸爸九年前就死了呀?”

沉默了一会，“您是不是拨错了电话?请别挂上，”那个声音变的有气无力了，“是不是这就意味着您不会来啦?”

超短爆笑的英语笑话篇三

A hasty retreat 快速逃命

After a week's absence, a mountain man staggered1 home, clothes torn, shoes worn thin. He was exhausted2.

"Where have you been?" asked his wife.

"I went out in the woods to check the still." Replied the mountain man, "and a giant bear stepped out in front of me. I took off running ahead of him and finally lost him. I never ran so fast in my life."

"But that was a week ago." Said the wife. "Where have you been since?"

The mountain man collapsed3 in a chair. "Walking back."

离开家一个星期后，那个登山人摇摇晃晃地回到了家，他的衣服也破了，鞋底也磨薄了，他本人更是疲惫不堪的样子。

“你到哪儿去了?”老婆问。

“那天我到森林里去检查有无无非法酿酒的地方，”登山人叙述着，“忽然一只大熊出现在我的面前，我拔腿就跑，熊就在后面追，好不容易才把它甩掉，我这辈子从来没有跑这么快。”

“可是那是一周前的事了，”他老婆说：“后来你到哪儿去了?”

登山人瘫在在椅子上说：“往回走啊!”