一分钟的英语笑话摘抄

2017-03-03

笑话产生于日常生活语境之中,以消遣和娱乐为目的,由普通民众创造、表演和欣赏。下面小编整理了一分钟的英语笑话,希望大家喜欢!

一分钟的英语笑话摘抄

我们不能相信律师吗?(中英)

The justice department was trying a case against a company in New York,who had engaged the senior partner of the biggest law firm there, Alan Dean, to defend them. My father一in一law represented the Justice department.

司法部正在和一家纽约的公司打官司,那家公司请了当地最大的一家律师事物所的高级合伙人—阿曼·迪恩来为他们辩护,而我岳父代表的是司法部

There was a LOT of evidence and each side had their own idea about how to refer to the exhibits. My father一in一law went by the school of 1A,1B,1C,2A,2B etc,while Alan Dean went by A,AA , B,BB,BBB,C.

双方都找到了很多的证据,而且对如何排序这些证据都各有各的高招。我岳父用了lA,1B,1C,2A,2B等的符号排列,阿曼·迪恩用的是A,AA,B,BB,BBB,C的序号排列。

At one point, well into the trial, a piece of evidence for the defense was labeled “PPPP.” The judge was about half asleep but this reference caught his attention.

审判中,有这样一条证据被标上了“PPPP”的符号,法官已经半睡半醒了,可一听到这个标号,立刻提起了精神。

Judge: Mr. Dean,what number was that exhibit?

法官:迪恩先生,刚才那条证据的标号是什么?

Alan Dean: Pee pee pee pee your honor.

迪恩:PPPP,长官。

(The courtroom and judge giggles, every time pee pee pee pee is mentioned)

每当他一提到PPPP,整个法庭的人和法官都在笑。

Judge: (smirk) Mr. Dean, please abbreviate your exhibit names from, for example, pee pee pee pee to 4P's.

法官(傻笑着):迪恩先生,请你缩写一下你的证据的标号,比如“PPPP”为..4P"。

AD: Yes your honor. I’d like to display the next piece of evidence.

迪恩:好的,长官。我要出示下一条证据。

Judge: What number would that be, Mr. Dean?

法官:它的标号是多少?

AD: 4Q, your honor.

迪恩:4Q,长官。

一分钟的英语笑话鉴赏

家庭牧场(中英)

Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch Unfortunately, after just afew years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock.

两个姐妹,一个是金色头发,另一个是黑色头发,她们继承了家里的农场。不幸的是,几年后,她们出现了经济上台阶的困难。为了能够使农场不被银行收回,她们必须去买一头牛,这样就可以喂养自己的家畜。

The brunette balances their checkbook,then takes their last 600 dollars out west to another ranch where a man has a prize bull for sale.

黑头发的姐姐查看了账簿,取出了最后的600美元,要到西边的牧场去,因为那里有一个人在卖一头好牛。

Upon leaving, she tells her sister, "When I get there, if I decide to buy the bull, I’11 contact you to drive out after me and haul it home.” The brunette arrives at the man's ranch, inspects the bull, and decides she does want to buy it.

离开之前,她告诉自己的妹妹:“到那以后,如果我决定了买牛,我就和你联系,你开车来找我,我们把牛拉回家。”姐姐到了那个农场,仔细地看了看牛,确定了要买这头牛。

The man tells her that he can sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram to tell her the news.

卖牛的告诉她,他可以以599美元的价钱卖牛,可不能再低了。付过钱后,姐姐开车到了最近的一个镇子上,给妹妹发电报告诉她这个消息。

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a telegram to my sister telling her that I’ve bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pick一up truck and drive out here so we can haul it home.”

她走进了电报局,说:“我想给我的妹妹发一封电报,告诉她我已经为我们的农场买下了牛,我需要她把拖车挂在小货车后,开到这里,好把我们的牛拉回家。”

The telegraph operator explains thathe'1l be glad to help her, then adds, "It's just 99 cents a word.” Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left.

电报员说他很愿意帮忙,然后说:"99分一个字。”姐姐在付过买牛的钱以后就只剩下1美元了。

She realizes that she'11 only be able to send her sister one word. After thinking for a few minutes, she nods, and says, “I want you to send her the word,’‘comfortable’ .”

她想,这样只能给妹妹发一个字,考虑了几分钟,她点点头说:“我想给我妹妹发一个字 —‘舒适’(comfortable)。”

The telegraph operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you

want her to hitch the trailer to your pick一 up truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her the word, ‘comfortable’?”

电报员摇摇头说:“如果你就只发一个字 —‘舒适’,你的妹妹又怎么能明白你想让她把拖车挂在小货车上,开到这里拉牛回家呢?”

The brunette explains, “My sister's blonde. She'll read it slow.

姐姐解释道:“我妹妹是黄头发,她会慢慢的读。”

一分钟的英语笑话赏析

休息喝咖啡的时间(中英)

A blonde was recently hired at an office. Her first task was to go out for coffee. Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop. She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order. She asked, "Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?" The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, "Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

一个办公室里最近来了一位金发女孩,她的第一项任务就是出去买咖啡。她想第一天上班就出色地完成任务,于是抓起了一个大保温瓶,迅速地跑向附近的咖啡店。见她手举保温瓶,咖啡店的店员马上走过来帮她订咖啡,女孩问:“这个能盛下6杯咖啡吗?”店员看了看暖瓶,迟疑了一下说:“我看能盛下6杯。”

"Oh good!” the blonde sighed in relief. "Then give me two regular, two black, and two decaf.”

“啊,太好了!”女孩放心的叹了口气。“好,那就给我两杯黑咖啡,两杯普通的咖啡,两杯德卡夫咖啡……”

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