小学生用来表的演英语笑话大全
笑话是日常生活中常见的一种幽默，与一般日常会话不同。下面是小编带来的小学生用来表的演英语笑话，欢迎阅读!
小学生用来表的演英语笑话大全
(一)
谁说我老了?
Chaucer was over seventy , but he was not convinced of his age. At a time he boasted: “My physical strength is as strong as that I was young.” The opposite person asked: “ What do you rely on? ” Chaucer said : “ There is a big stone roller in my compound. I couldn’t heave it when was young, neither can I now.”
乔叟年过六旬，仍不服老。一次，他对人夸耀说：“我和年轻时力气一样大。”对方问：“何以见得?”乔叟说：“我家大院里有个石头，年轻时我举不起来，现在我还是举不起来。”
(二)
有其父必有其子
Son: Papa, what' s the meaning of " Like father, like son"?
Father: Bastard. What another scandalous thing have you done in the school?
儿子：爸爸，“有其父必有其子”是什么意思呀?
父亲：狗崽子，你在学校又干什么见不得人的事啦?
小学生用来表的演英语笑话欣赏
(一)
您的大衣着火了
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to countfifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. The next dayhe was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly.Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire,sir!
老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。 第二天，当老师背靠着火炉讲课时，发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然，全班学生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老师，您的大衣着火了!”
(二)
临死前给我吃点小甜饼吧
A Dying Man's Favorite Cookies An elderly man lay dying in his bed.
临死者最爱吃的小甜饼一位濒临死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受着死亡的煎熬。
In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookies waftingup the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed. Leaningagainst the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effortforced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
突然一股香味顺着楼下飘了上来，那正是他最喜欢的巧克力小薄饼的味道。他用尽吃奶的力气挣扎着从床上爬了起来，倚着墙，慢慢地走出了卧室，并且用最后的力量用双手抓住扶手走下了楼梯。
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.Were it notfor death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven:
老人靠在门框上，嘴里喘着气，眼睛凝神着厨房。如果不是因为承受着临死的痛苦，老人会认为自己到了天堂。
there, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favoritechocolate chip cookies. Was it heaven?
那里，在厨房铺着报纸的桌子上，确切地说有数百个他最喜欢吃的巧克力小薄饼。真在天堂吗?
Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world ahappy man?Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on hisknees in a rumpled posture.
还是他那离婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的爱心显示，以便让他开心地离开这个世界?集中最后的力量，老人跪着双膝挣扎着移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴张开。
His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seeminglybringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made its way to a cookie atthe edge of the table,
他感受到了美妙的甜饼味道，仿佛要将他带回人世。他的一只年迈干瘪的手颤颤悠悠地伸向桌子边缘的一只小甜饼。
when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.Stay out of those, she said, they'refor the funeral.
突然，他妻子扔过一把铲子，砸在他的手上。“离远点”，他妻子说。“这是为你的葬礼准备的。”
经典的小学生用来表的演英语笑话
(一)
逼真的戏剧太假了
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I requiredmy students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. Afterviewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: The play was so real, I thought Iwas actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.
我在北达科他州立大学教戏剧入门课时，要求学生们去看学校剧团当时的演出，并写一篇评论。看了一场极为精彩的演出后，一名学生写道：“这部戏剧是如此逼真，以致于我认为我自己是坐在家里的沙发上，从电视上看到的。”
(二)
免费劳动力
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison.
一个老人独居在北爱尔兰，他的独生子正在坐牢。
The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone whowould help him plow up the garden.He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, ForHEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
老人想在花园里种些土豆，但不知道谁可以帮忙把泥土翻松。他写信想儿子提及此事，儿子回信说道：“看在上帝的面上，千万不要翻松花园的泥土，我把枪埋在那儿了。”
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened andasking him what to do next.His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
第二天凌晨4点，一队英国士兵出现在老人家中，在花园把土地翻遍，但并没有找到任何枪支。”老人写信告诉儿子这件奇怪的事情，问到底发生了什么事情，下一步应该怎么做。儿子回信道：“你只管种土豆好了。”