最短幽默英语笑话大全

笑话通过突出一点、大胆夸张,淋漓尽致地揭示讽刺对象的可笑本质。千百年来,人民群众将它作为抨击敌人的一种手段和进行自我教育的工具。下面是小编带来的最短幽默英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

最短幽默英语笑话篇一

本性难移 Tightfisted Till the End

When a very miserly(吝啬的) man nicknamed the "stingy ghost" died and went to hell, the Yama King reproached(责斥) him, saying, "You stingy ghost! When you were alive, you clung hard to everything and wouldn't give to anyone. Even when you saw others in poverty and misery, you refused to offer them help. Also, you didn't take good care of your parents, relatives or friends and let them suffer and starve. For your evil karma(因果报应) , you'll be dumped into a pot of boiling oil."

The ghost wardens then escorted the man to the pot of boiling oil, and when they arrived, he looked at the pot and said, "Hey! Wait a minute! There's so much oil in it. What a waste! Please drain out the oil, sell it and give me the money. Then, you can simply dump me in a pot of boiling water! There's no need for oil. You're using too much oil to cook one person anyway!"

有一个人很吝啬，叫吝啬鬼，他死了以后下地狱，阎罗王骂他说：“你这个吝啬鬼，在尘间的时候什么东西都抓很紧不放，什么人都不给，看到贫穷、痛苦的人也不帮助，父母、亲戚、朋友也没有照顾好，让他们都挨饿受苦，你这种凶恶的业障，应该被放入滚开的油锅里面。”

鬼差就带他到滚得很热、很烫的油锅那边，吝啬鬼一看就说：“喔，等一下、慢一下!油那么多，怎么那么浪费呢?你们先把这些油倒出来，卖出去后把钱给我，然后丢我在热烫的水里就可以了!何必用油，而且还用那么多油!”

最短幽默英语笑话篇二

"Ten steps from the porch(门廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growled Bluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(紧抱，扣紧) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted a rhododendron(杜鹃) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

最短幽默英语笑话篇三

I Taught the Teacher 我教老师

Mother asked her little boy, Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?

Nothing, Mum, answered the son proundly, instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told her three.

母亲问她年幼的儿子：宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?

儿子骄傲地说：什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。

最短幽默英语笑话篇四

Where's the father? 父亲在哪?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"

"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”