关于英语幽默短笑话精选

笑话的缘起应与古代的优伶相关,与古典小说现也是相为印证的。下面是小编带来的英语幽默短笑话，欢迎阅读!

英语幽默短笑话精选

(一)

两名士兵 Two Soldiers

Two soldiers were in camp. The first one's name was George, and the second one's name was Bill.

军营里有二名士兵，一个叫乔治，一个叫比尔。

George said, "have you got a piece of paper and an envelope, Bill?"

乔治问：“比尔，你有信纸、信封吗?”

Bill said, "Yes, I have," and he gave them to him.

比尔说：“有。”然后把信纸和信封给了乔治。

Then George said, "Now I haven't got a pen."

乔治又说：“我还没有笔呢。”

Bill gave him his, and George wrote his letter.

比尔又把自己的笔给了他。乔治开始写信。

Then he put it in the envelope and said, "have you got a stamp, Bill?" Bill gave him one.

写完后把信放进信封里，又问：“比尔，你有邮票吗?”比尔给了他一张。

Then Bill got up and went to the door, so George said to him, "Are you going out?"

这时比尔站起来，向门口走去。乔治问：“你要出去吗?”

Bill Said, "Yes, I am," and he opened the door.

比尔说：“是的。”随即打开了门。

George said, "Please put my letter in the box in the office, and..." He stopped.

乔治说：“请帮我把这封信投进办公室的信箱里，还有...”他停住了。

"What do you want now?" Bill said to him.

“你还要什么?”比尔问。

George looked at the envelope of his letter and answered, "What's your girl-friend's address?"

乔治看着信封说：“你女朋友的地址是-?”

(二)

Best Reward

A naval officer fell overboard.

最好的奖赏 一名海军军官从甲板上掉入海中。

He was rescued by a deck hand.

他被一名甲板水手救起。

The officer asked how he could reward him.

这位军官问如何才能酬谢他。

"The best way, sir," said the deck hand, "is to say nothing about it.

“最好的办法，长官，”这名水手说，“是别声张这事。

If the other fellows knew I'd pulled you out, they'd chuck me in."

如果其他人知道我救了您，他们会把我扔下去的。”

英语幽默短笑话阅读

(一)

你知道我是干嘛的吗

One night a hotel caught fire， and the people who were staying in it ran out in their nightclothes.Two men stood outside and looked at the fire.“Before I came out,”said one，“I ran intosome of the rooms and found a lot of money.People don't think of money when they're afraid.When anyone leaves paper money in a fire，the fire burns it.So I took all the bills that I couldfind.No one will be poorer because I took them.” “You don't know my work，” said theother.“What is your work?”“I'm a policeman.“Oh!” cried the first man. He thought quicklyand said，“And do you know my work?”“No,”said the policeman.“I'm a writer. I'm alwaystelling stories about things that never happened.”

一天晚上，一家旅馆失火，住在这家旅馆里的人穿着睡 衣就跑了出来。两个人站在外面，看着大火。“在我出来之前，”其中一个说：“我跑进一些房间，找到了一大笔钱。人在恐惧中是不会想到钱的。如果有人把纸币留在火里，火就会把它烧成灰烬。所以我把我所能找到的钞票都拿走了。没有人会因为我拿走它们而变得更穷。” “你不知道我是干什么的。”另一个说。“你是干什么的?” “我是警察。” “噢!”第一个人喊了一声。他灵机一动，说：“那你知道我是干什么的?”“不知道。”警察说。“我是个作家。我总是爱编一些从未发生过的故事。”

(二)

我教老师 I Taught the Teacher

Mother asked her little boy, "Darling, what did the teacher teach you today?" "Nothing, Mum,"answered the son proundly, "instead, she asked me how much one plus two was, and I told herthree."

母亲问她年幼的儿子：“宝贝，今天老师教了你些什么?” 儿子骄傲地说：“什么都没教，妈妈。她反倒问我一加二等于几，我告诉她等于三。”

英语幽默短笑话学习

(一)

模仿 Imitation

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. "Well, sit down and eat your tea," said hismother. "Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got somethingin it." Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache. "That'sbecause it's empty," said his bright son. "You'd be all right if you had something in it."

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。“来，坐下，吃点点心，”妈妈说，“你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。” 一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。 “你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，”他那聪明的儿子说，“里面装点东西，就会好的。”

(二)

一个数学问题 A Problem in Arithmetic

Bill is a good student and an intelligent boy. He likes to study arithmetic, and he can do all ofthe arithmetic problems in his book easily. One day on his way to school Bill passed a fruitstore. There was a sign in the window which said, "Apple-Six for five cents." An idea came to Billand he went into the store. "How much are the apples?" he asked the store. "Six for five cents." "But I don't want six apples." "How many apples do you want?" "It is not a question of howmany apples I want. It is a problem in arithmetic." "What do you mean by a problem inarithmetic?" asked the man. "Well, if six apples are wroth five cents, then five apples are worthfour cents, four apples are worth three cents, three apples are worth rwo cents, two apples areworth one cent and one apple is worth nothing. I only want one apple, and if one apple is worthnothing then it is not necessary for me to pay you." Bill picked out a good apple, began to eatit, and walked happily out of the store. The man looked at the young boy with such surprisethat he could not say a word.

比尔是一个好学生，也是个聪明的孩子。他喜欢学数学，课本上所有的数学问题他都能不费劲地解答。 有一天，在上学路上，比尔经过一家水果店。该店窗户上有个招牌上写着：“苹果--五美分六个。”比尔脑筋一转，进了店门。 “苹果怎么卖?” “五美分六个。” “但我不想要六个。” “你想要几个?” “这不是我想要几个的问题。这是个数学问题。” “数学问题?你说这话是什么意思?” “你看，如果六个苹果五美分，那么五个苹果四美分，四个苹果三美分，三个苹果二美分，二个苹果一美分，一个苹果就不要钱。我只要一个苹果，如果一个苹果一分钱也不要的话，那我也就没必要给你钱了。” 比尔拣了一个好苹果，开始吃了起来，然后兴高采烈地迈出了店门。那个售货员吃惊地望着这个小男孩，一句话也说不出来。