初中英语幽默笑话大全

2017-03-02

初中英语幽默笑话大全品析

您的大衣着火了 Your Coat Is on Fire

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them tocount fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important. Thenext day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lipsmoving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Yourcoat is on fire, sir!

老师为了让学生记住先思考后发言，告诉他们在说出重要事情之前先数到50，如果是特别重要的事情，要先数到100。第二天，当老师背靠着火炉讲课时，发现好几个学生的嘴唇在很快地不停地动。突然，全班学生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老师，您的大衣着火了!”

经典初中英语幽默笑话大全

Class, Lass and Ass

班级、情人和蠢驴

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,so he wrote some words on theblackboard which read as follows: Professor Tom will meet the class tomorrow.

汤姆教授打算第二天与他的学生见面，因此他在黑板上写道：“汤姆教授明天将和大家见面”。

A student, seeing his chance to display his sense of humor after reading the notice, walked upand erased the c in the word class. The Professor noticing the laughter, wheeled around, walkedback, looked at the student, then at the notice with the c erased--calmly walked up and erasedthe l in lass, looked at the flabbergasted student and proceeded on his way.

一位学生看到这条通知后，觉得展示自己幽默感的机会来了，就走上前，将“class”中的“c”擦掉，将意思变为“汤姆教授明天将和情妇见面”。教授听到笑声，转过身走回来，看了看那位学生，又看看被改动过的通知，不动声色地走上前，把“lass”中的“l”擦掉，将意思改为“汤姆教授明天将和蠢驴见面”。看了看那位目瞪口呆的学生，教授扬长而去。

关于初中英语幽默笑话大全

ope or Ox?

绳子还是公牛?

The man in the prison asked a new comer why he was sent there. The new comer answered," Iam out of luck, I think. A few days ago I was walking in the street when I saw a piece of dirtyrope. I thought nobody wanted it and so I picked it up and took it home."

在监狱里，一个人问新来的犯人为什么被关进来。新来的犯人回答说：“我想我真是倒霉。几天前我在街上走的时候，看到一根脏绳子，以为没人要了，便捡起来带了回家。”

"But it is not against the law to pick up a piece of rope and take home."

“但是，捡一根绳子带回家并不犯法啊!”

"I told you I had bad luck, didn't I?" the man sighed, "The trouble is that I didn't notice therewas an ox at the other end of that rope."

“我告诉过你我倒霉了吧?”那个人叹了口气，“麻烦的就是我没有注意到绳子的那一头还有一头公牛。”

初中英语幽默笑话大全欣赏

Lifetime Warranty

终身保修

After burying his mother nine months earlier, a client of the local mortuary finally had enough money to purchase the expensive coffin hed originally wanted. So we exhumed the body and transferred his deceased mother into the new steel casket. "Whats so special about this coffin?" I asked the funeral director. He replied, It has a lifetime warranty.

在将母亲下葬9个月后，当地殡仪馆的一个客户终于攒够了钱去买那副他早就相中的价值不菲的棺材了。他把母亲的棺材挖了出来，将尸体转移到了那副新的钢制棺材中。“这副棺材有什么特别?”我问葬礼的承办人。他回答说，“这种棺材终生保修。

初中英语幽默笑话大全品味

I Want Her to go Nuts

我要让她发疯

Mrs. Flinders decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, Paint me with diamondearrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets and a ruby pendant.

福林德斯夫人决定让人给她画肖像。她告诉那位肖像画家说：“画我带着钻石耳环、钻石项链、祖母绿手镯，还有红宝石垂饰。”

But you're not wearing any of those things.

“但你现在没带这其中的任何一样饰品。”

I know, said Mrs. Flinders. It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'd remarryright away, and I want her to go nuts looking for the jewelry.

“我知道。”福林德斯夫人说，“万一我先我丈夫死去，我肯定他会立刻再婚。我要让那个女人为寻找这些珠宝而发疯

初中英语幽默笑话大全鉴赏

Three pastors

三个牧师的故事

Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started I’ve been having trouble with bats in my loft and attic at church. I’ve tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them away.

三个南部的牧师在一家小餐馆里吃午饭。其中的一个说道：“你们知道吗，自从夏天来临，我的教堂的阁楼和顶楼就被蝙蝠骚扰，我用尽了一切办法----噪音、喷雾、猫----似乎什么都不能把它们赶走。”

Another said, Yes, me too. I’ve got hundreds living in my belfry and in the attic. I’ve been had the place fumigated, and they still won’t go away.

另外一位说：“是啊，我也是。在我的钟楼和阁楼也有好几百只。我曾经请人把整个地方用烟熏消毒一遍，它们还是赶不走。”

The third said, I baptized all mine, and made them members of the church...haven’t seen one back since!

第三个牧师说：“我为我那里的所有蝙蝠洗礼，让它们成为教会的一员......从此一只也没有再回来过。”