双语阅读：去发现真实的你

摘要：为了忠实于自己，我们必须致力于那个仅有的自己，以免围绕不同的身份而乔装改扮。如果，我们是谁?以及我们的行为取决于别人眼中的我，或我们所处的环境中的我，那么就不可能了解(真正的)自身和率真的我们。

In order to be true to self, we need to work toward there only being “one” version of ourselves and avoiding the tendency to masquerade around in different identities. If who we are and how we behave depends on the people or environment we find ourselves in, it may become impossible to know and speak the truth about ourselves.

There are many faces we can wear. They are all meant to keep ourselves hidden from detection and harm. These faces have developed in us over time and are intricately woven into the fabric of our personalities. Here are three of the common faces we might recognize in ourselves if we were to look honesty into our mirror of introspection:

为了忠实于自己，我们必须致力于那个仅有的自己，以免围绕不同的身份而乔装改扮。如果，我们是谁?以及我们的行为取决于别人眼中的我，或我们所处的环境中的我，那么就不可能了解(真正的)自身和率真的我们。

我们可以扮演很多张面孔，以便隐藏自己免于被发现或免于伤害。这张脸随着时间而发展，杂乱地编织在我们的人性里。如果我们站在镜子前真诚的反省，我们可能会认出三张雷同的脸。

The Joker: The role of the “joker” should not be confused with the display of humor during a fun loving moment. The “joker” front is present when you make jokes in situations in which you are uncomfortable or are fraught with pain and sorrow. This is simply a way of coping with emotional discomfort.

去发现真实的你

1.逗乐者：逗乐者的角色不应该混同于在亲密时刻搞幽默的玩笑者。逗乐者面对的是，当你感到不舒服，或充满痛苦和悲伤时，有意制造的玩笑。这是一个应对不安的简单方式。

The Procrastinator: If you are the “procrastinator” then you put off whatever you find too uncomfortable or scary to face today. Unfortunately, delaying the work of the moment to alleviate your fear of failure or to avoid discomfort will almost always set the stage for more disappointment and shame.

2.拖宕者：如果你是一个拖宕者，那么不管你当前面对的是不安还是恐惧，你就会表现出拖沓。很不幸，工作时刻拖宕是为了减轻你的失败恐惧感和避免因沮丧和羞耻而引起的不安。

The Flirt: People will learn to hide behind being a “flirt” because it feels like a much easier way to feel secure than connecting emotionally and investing in vulnerable relationships. While you may have “bagged” your trophy with the intentions of feeling more secure about yourself, you are likely to be left feeling less-than and even worse about yourself afterwards. This is because you have invested much in your physical self and neglected to be true to your emotional and spiritual self.

3.卖弄者：卖弄的背后是隐藏，因为比起情感联系和投资易受伤害的人事关系来说，你觉得这是一种更简易的方式。在你可能收获你以为比较安全的情感时，你很可能或多或少的被感情抛弃，甚至失去今后的自我。这是因为你对物理的自我投入太多，而忽视了真我的情感和真实的心灵。

These faces are but three examples of many. The faces that we wear were originally intended to keep us safe from harm. In the beginning they did just that. Now we find that the strategies we use to employ as a sort of survival tactic are no longer safe – they are dangerous. The masks we wear are not going to be removed by some external force. Fortunately or unfortunately we were born with free will and the job of removing our masks is ours and ours alone. The risks involved may seem like we are being asked to appear in public in a Saran Wrap outfit but it is really not that bad once we get started.

这些面孔是很多例子中的三个。我们最初的伪装是为了避免伤害。在一开始他们这样做仅仅是为此。现在我们发现，过去常常使用的策略和侥幸一样不保险，它们是危险的。我们所带的面具不会被外力移走。幸运和不幸相生相伴，我们天生是自由的，摘掉面具的职业是自己的，并且是我们独有的。危险缠绕其中，看起来好像我们是裹着保鲜膜出现在大众面前，一旦揭开面具真的不是一件坏事。

Understand, for example, that forced laughter is an illegitimate form of crying. The risk here is to let others understand that you are frightened of coping with the situation. The authentic you will learn how to laugh when something is funny and you will learn to cry when you are sad.

理解，例如，逼迫正哭的自己笑是不合情理的。这里的风险是让别人知道你对要应对的现实感到恐惧。真实的你是学会有高兴的事时笑，有悲伤的事时哭。

Procrastination is fear – in five syllables. When we procrastinate we run the risk of further burdening ourselves with shame that can develop when we avoid fearful situations or people. Generally the unintended result is a greater sense of incompetency than we started out with. You alone have the power to show yourself and those around you that you can be counted on.

拖延是恐惧有五个音节。当我们拖沓的时候，就是给自己的未来添加可耻的负担，这种负担会在我们想要避免的困境和人那里继续发展。一般情况下，比起着手做事(的人来说，)无意识中会让人产生无法胜任的感觉。你有权显示个人的能量也可以凭借周围的力量。

Flirtation, of course, can be seen as a way of attracting people with little depth who are likely to run away from any true relationship. To remove this mask is to become ready to risk experiencing the depth of varying emotions like sadness, possible disappointment, and vulnerability. A decision to be more real will reward you with increased self-awareness, emotional balance and a great reduction in emotional insecurity.

调情，看起来是一种肤浅的吸引人的方式，有可能使你脱离真实的关系。摘除面具准备经受各种深层的情感，象悲哀、沮丧、脆弱。自我意识会更强，情绪会趋于平衡，不安全感也会大大减少。