经典英语幽默笑话合集
笑话是古典小说的一个分支,这在众多的小说史中都得到了肯定。下面是小编带来的英语幽默笑话合集，欢迎阅读!
英语幽默笑话合集精选
(一)
I'm not having it all cut off
没把头发全剪掉啊
Miles sometime went to the barber's during working hours to have his hair cut. But this wasagainst the office rules: clerks had to have their hair cut in their own time. While Miles was atthe barber's one day, the manager of the office came in by chance to have his own hair cut andsat just beside him.
麦尔斯有时在上班时间去理发馆理发，但这是违反办公室规定的：职员只能利用自己的时间理发。一天，正当麦尔斯理发时，经理碰巧也进来理发，而且就坐在他旁边。
"Hello, Miles," the manager said. "I see that you are having your hair cut in office time."
"你好，麦尔斯，"经理说。"我看到你在上班时间理发了。"
"Yes, sir, I am," admitted Miles calmly. "You see, sir, it grows in office time."
"是的，先生。正是这样。"麦尔斯平静地承认了。"可先生，你看，头发是在上班时间长的。"
"Not all of it," said the manager at once. "Some of it grows in your own time."
"不全都是吧，"经理立刻说，"有一些是在你自己的时间里长的。"
"Yes, sir, that's quite true." Answered Miles politely, "but I'm not having it all cut off."
"对呀，先生，你说得很对。"麦尔斯礼貌地回答说，"但我并没有把头发全都剪掉啊。"
(二)
病人为什么大喊
Why Is He Howling.
他为什么喊
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven't even touched your tooth yet.
牙医：请你不要再喊了!我还没碰你的牙呢。
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!
病人：我知道，可是你正踩着我的脚呀!
英语幽默笑话合集阅读
(一)
最喜欢哪种鸟 Like which bird best
In class, the teacher showed pictures of various birds.
课堂上，老师在展示各种各样鸟的图片。
Then he asked, "What kinds of bird do you like best, Jack?"
然后他问:"杰克，你最喜欢哪种鸟?"
Jack answered, "Fried chicken, sir."
杰克回答说:"老师，炸鸡"
(二)
三声口哨 Three Whistles
I promised my girlfriend a gold necklace for her birthday,
我答应过我的女朋友过生日进送她一条金项链,
but when the jeweler quoted a price for one we liked, I let out a long, low whistle.
可是当珠宝商报出我们看中的那条项链的价格时，我低低地打了个长口哨。
"And how much are they then?" I asked, pointing to another tray.
“那这条项链多少钱呢?”我指着另一个盘子里的项链问。
"You, sir," replied the jeweler, "about three whistles."
“先生，对你来说，”珠宝商答道，“大约值三声口哨。”
英语幽默笑话合集学习
(一)
中间战术 Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall.Observers waited for mayhemto ensue.
三个互相争生意的商店老板在一条商业街上租用了毗邻的店铺。旁观者等着瞧好戏。
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
右边的零售商挂起了巨大的招牌，上书：“大减价!”“特便宜!”
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "FantasticDiscounts!"
左边的商店挂出了更大的招牌，声称：“大砍价!”“大折扣!”
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中间的商人随后准备了一个大招牌，上面只简单地写着：“入口处”。
(二)
我丈夫马上就要回来了
A married man was visiting his "girlfriend" when she requested that he shave his beard.
一个已婚男人去拜访他的“女朋友”时，女朋友要求他剃去胡须。
"Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face."
“噢，詹姆斯，我喜欢你的胡子，但我更喜欢看到你英俊的面孔。”
James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it, she would kill me!!"
詹姆斯回答说，“我的妻子喜欢我的胡子，所以我不可能剃掉它，否则她会杀了我的。”
"Oh please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice...
“噢，我求你了，”女朋友用一种低沉的、性感的声音又一次说道。
"Oh really, I can't," he replies..."My wife loves this beard!!"
“可是，我不能，”他回答道，“我的妻子喜欢这胡子。”
The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighs and finally gives in.
在女朋友再三请求下，他终于屈服同意了。
That night James crawls into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
夜里，在妻子熟睡时，詹姆斯爬上了床。
The wife is awakened somewhat, feels his face and replies "Oh Michael, you shouldn't be here,my husband will be home soon!"
妻子朦朦胧胧地摸了摸他的脸说道，“噢，迈克尔，你不应该在这里，我的丈夫很快就要回来了。”