幽默生活英语笑话
在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来幽默生活英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!
幽默生活英语笑话：
Once upon a time a rich man and a poor tailor lived in the same house.The rich man lived upstairs and the poor tailor lived downstairs.
从前有一个富人和一个穷裁缝同住在一栋房。富人住楼上，穷裁缝住楼下。做衣服时裁缝喜欢唱歌。他唱了一首又一首。但富人喜欢多睡觉，歌声打扰了他。
The tailor liked to sing when he made clothes. He sang one song after another. But the rich man liked to sleep a lot，and the singing both- erect him.
从前有一个富人和一个穷裁缝同住在一栋房。富人住楼上，穷裁缝住楼下。做衣服时裁缝喜欢唱歌。他唱了一首又一首。但富人喜欢多睡觉，歌声打扰了他。
One day the rich man said，"Tailor, I will give you a bag full of money every day if you will stop singing.”
有一天富人说:“裁缝，如果你停止唱歌我会每天给你满满一袋钱。”
“Fine ,”said the tailor. And so the tailor stopped singing and be-came richer and richer. But the more money he got from the rich man,the more unhappy the became, because he wanted very much to sing again.
“很好，”裁缝说。因此裁缝停止了唱歌，而且变得越来越富有。但他从富人这里得到的钱越多，他就越不快乐，因为他非常想再唱歌。
Finally he brought all his money back to the rich man.“Here ,”he said，"take your money. I cannot be happy们cannot sing.”
最后他把所有的钱还给了富人。“给你，”他说，“拿着你的钱。如果我不能唱歌，我是不会快乐的。”
And so he gave the money back to the rich man and went away singing. He sang and he sang and he was happier than ever before.
因此他把钱还给了富人，又开始歌唱了。他唱了又唱，他比以前更加快乐。
幽默生活英语笑话：
There was a small Kangaroo who was bad in school. He put thumb-tacks on the teach er's chair. He threw spitballs across the classroom.He set off firecrackers in the lavatory and spread glue on the doorknobs.
有一只小袋鼠，他在学校里很淘气。他在老师的椅子上放图钉，在教室里扔纸团，在厕所里放鞭炮，还在门把手上抹胶水。
A:You behavior is impossible } I am going to see your parents.I will tell them what a problem you are!
你的行为真让人受不了!我要去见见你的父母，告诉他们你是多么难以管教!
(The principal went to visit Mr. and Mrs. Kangaroo.He sat down in a living-r oom chair.
校长去拜访袋鼠夫妇。他在客厅的椅子上坐下。)
A:Ouch!There is a thumbtack in this chair!
哎哟!这把椅子上有个图钉!
B:Yes，I know，I enjoy putting thumbtacks in chairs.
是的，我知道，我喜欢把图钉放在椅子上。
(A spitball hit the principal on his nose.
一个纸团飞过来打在校长的鼻子上。)
C:Forgive me，but I can never resist throwing those things.
请原谅，我控制不住总想扔那些东西。
( There was a loud booming sound from the bathroom.
浴室里传来轰的一声巨响。)
B:Keep calm，The firecrackers that we keep in the medicine chest have just exploded. We love the noise.
别紧张，我们放在药箱里的鞭炮爆炸了，我们喜欢这种声音。
(The principal rushed for the front door. In an instant he was stuck to the door knob.
校长冲向前门，立刻被门把手给粘住了。)
B:Pull hard. There are little globs of glue on all of our doorknobs.
使劲儿拽，我们所有的门上都有点儿胶水。
(The principal pulled himself free. He dashed out of the house and ran off down the street.
校长挣脱开，冲出屋子，沿着街道跑走了。)
B:Such a nice person，I wonder why he left so quickly.
他真是个好人，我不明白他为什么这么快就走了。
C:No doubt he had another appointment. Never mind, supper is ready.
他准是还有个约会，没关系，吃晚饭吧。
(Mr.and Mrs. Kangaroo and their son enjoyed their evening meal. Af-ter the dessert, they all threw spitballs at each other across the dining-room table.
袋鼠夫妇和儿子津津有味地共进了晚餐。吃完甜点后，他们在饭桌旁互相扔起纸团来。)
幽默生活英语笑话：
Joe was a professional boxer and the strongest man in Hiplace.You should have seen him carry his mother-in-low in his arms. All that times from Royal Bar, and there was no visible sign of effort on his face.The other day，or should I say the other night, Joe came home rather late, and as his wife Bess saw him, she almost fainted... His nose was like a squashed potato; he had a black eye，and his left ear war bleeding.
乔是职业拳击手，也是海普拉斯最强壮的人。你应该看到过他从皇家酒吧一路把丈母娘抱回家而脸上好像若无其事的样子。有一天，或者该说，有一天晚上乔回来得很晚。妻子贝思看到他，差一点昏了过去。他的鼻子像打烂了的土豆，眼睛周围黑着，左耳血流不止。
A:You are in a shocking state, darling. What happened to you?
你的样子太吓人了，亲爱的，发生了什么事?
B:Nothing much to speak of, I had an argument with a chap who drank my beer.
没什么。有一个家伙喝我的啤酒，我与他理论了一番。
A: What a rascal!Where are your muscles , my poor darling? I would like to lay my hands on that scoundreL.I would teach him a lesson...
真混!你的力气都哪儿去了，可怜的人?我真想逮着那个恶棍，好好教训教训他……
B:Be quiet!That's not the way one should speak of a dead man.
别说了!用这种口气说一个死了的人可不应该。