风趣幽默英语故事

幽默故事，能让你在信手翻启间开怀一笑，得到身心的彻底放松、心绪的怦然萌动、情感的欣然释放。下面小编为大家带来风趣幽默的英语故事三则，欢迎大家阅读!

风趣幽默英语故事：你纳税了吗

A nervous taxpayer was unhappily conversing with the IRS Tax auditorwho had come to review his records.

一个神色紧张的纳税人正闷闷不乐地和前来查帐的国税局的税务审计员交谈。

At one point the auditor exclaimed,"Mr. Carelton, we feel it is a great privilegeto be allowed to live and work in the USA.

审计员一度大声地说，“Carelton先生，我们认为能在美国生活和工作是莫大的荣幸，

As a citizen you have an obligation to pay taxes,and we expect you to eagerly pay them with a smile"

而作为一个美国公民，您也有纳税的义务。我们希望您能无比乐意地带着微笑来纳税。”

"Thank goodness"returned Mr. Carelton, with a giant grin on his face,"I thought you were going to want me to pay with cash."

“谢天谢地”，Carelton先生咧着嘴大笑地回答，“我还以为你们是要我带着钱来交税呢!”

风趣幽默英语故事：离事故有多远

A carpenter was giving evidence about an accident he had witnessed.

一位木匠正在为他目击的一起事故作证。

The judge asked him how far away he was from the accident.

法官问他当时离事发现场有多远。

The carpenter replied "twenty seven feet, six-and-one-half- inches".

木匠回答，“27英尺，6.5英寸”。

"What? How come you are so sure of that distance?" asked the judge.

法官问：“什么?你怎么能这样确定?”

"Well, I knew some idiot would ask me. So I measured it!" replied the carpenter.

木匠回答，“是啊，我知道一定会有傻瓜问我这个问题，所以我事先测量了一下。”

风趣幽默英语故事：酒后驾车

Late one night a police officer was patrolling a rowdy bar to anticipate possible DUI violations.

一天深夜，一名警察去一个经常有人闹事的酒吧门口巡逻，为了避免有酒后驾车的情况发生。

At closing time, he saw a fellow tumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and try his keys in five different cars before he found his.

酒吧打烊了，他看见一个家伙跌跌撞撞的跑出来，一下摔在路边，随后又用钥匙试着开了五辆车的门才找到他自己的车。

Then he sat in the front seat fumbling around with his keys for several minutes.

坐进车里，好几分钟他又都是在摸着那些钥匙。

Everyone else left the bar and drove off. Finally he started his engine and began to pull away.

这时人们都从酒吧出来并且开车走了。最后他也发动了车子准备开走，

The police officer was waiting for him and turned on his light and pulled the driver over, read him his rights and administered the breathalyzer test.

警察已经等这个机会很久了，他打开灯，把司机从车里拉出来，给他宣读了他所享有的法定权利，然后作了酒精的测试。

The test results showed a reading of 0.00.

测试的结果是零，

The puzzled officer demanded to know how could that be.

于是困惑的警察问他是为什么，

The driver replied, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy!"

司机说：“今晚他们派我当诱饵。”