英文幽默笑话附翻译

2017-02-21

英文幽默笑话1：

Women's secrets

女人，不能说的秘密

Women especially love a bargain.

女人特别喜欢便宜货。

Women love to shop.It is the only area of the world where they feel like they're actually in control.

女人喜欢购物。她们觉得那是她们在这个世界上唯一能控制的领域。

Women love to talk. Silence intimidates them and they feel a need to圳it，even if they have nothing to say.

女人喜欢交谈。沉默使她们不安，她们需要用交谈打破沉默，即使她们没什么可说的。

Women need to feel like there are people worse off than they are.

女人需要感觉到别人不如她们.

Women hate bugs. Even the strong-willed ones need a man around when there's a spider or a wasp in tolved.

女人讨厌虫子。当看到一只蜘蛛或黄蜂时，即使意志力很强的女人也需要一个男人在身旁.

Women always go to public restrooms in groups. It gives them a chance to gossip.

女人经常结伴去公共卫生间. 这是她们八卦的好机会。

Women think all beer is the same.

女人觉得所有品牌的啤酒都是一个味儿。

Women don't understand the appeal of sports. Men seek entertainment that allows them to escape realitY. Women seek entertainment that reminds them of how horrible things could be.

女人不能领略体育节目的魅力。男人从那些能让他们逃离现实的东西中寻找娱乐，女人则从那些能提醒她们现实有多糟糕的东西中寻找娱乐。

Women are paid less than men’except for one field Modeling.

女人的薪水比男人低，只有一个行业例外——模特。

Women do not know anything about cars’eVen if theY drivea car themselves.

女人对汽军一无所知，即使她们自己开车。

Women love to talk on the phone.A woman can visit her girl friend for two weeks,and upon returning home,sheWill call the same friend and they will talk for three hours.

女人喜欢煲电话粥.一个女人去看她的女朋友，她们一起生活了两个星期，她刚刚回家便会给这个女朋友打电话，然后会聊上3个小时。

Women do not want an honest answer to the question, "How do I look ?"

在¨我看上去怎么样?n这个问题上，女人不想得到诚实的答案。

“Oh, nothing，has an entirely different meaning in woman—language than it does in man-language.

"哦，没什么。 “这句话在女人的字典里的意思和在男人字典里的完全不同。

All women will say that they are overweight,but don't agree with them about it.

所有女人都会说自己超重，但千万别对此表示赞同。

Women can get out of speeding tickets by pouting. This will get men arrested.

面对超速行驶的罚单，噘嘴可以使女人免于处罚，却会使男人被拘留。

Women don't really care about a sense of humor in a guy despite claims to the contrary.

女人并不真的在乎男人是否有幽默感，尽管她们声称幽默感很重要。

Women will spend hours dressing up to go out,and then they'II go out and spend more time checking out other women. Men can never catch women checking out other

men: women will always catch men checking out other women。

女人在出门前花费数小时化妆，然后她们出门，花更多时间注视其他女人。男人永远不会察觉女人注视着其他男人，而女人总能抓住男人注视着其他女人。

The most embarrassing thing for women is to find another woman wearing the same dress at a formal party.

最让女人尴尬的就是在一个正式的聚会上，发现另一个女人穿着和自己同样的衣服.

英文幽默笑话2：

in a hospital for mentally disturbed people, when the doctor walked into the room of a patient, he saw him dangling from the ceiling. being frightened, he called the nurse to come and pull him down for fear that the man might fall to his death. the nurse said; "doctor, every day this patient thinks that he is a lamp, therefore, he often hangs from the ceiling!" the doctor said;“no,you have to pull him down at once; otherwise, he'll die if he falls down."

一家精神病院里，医生走进一个病人的房间，发现病人正吊在天花板上晃来晃去。医生吓坏了，担心病人摔下来一命呜呼，赶紧叫护士把病人拉下来。护士说：¨医生，这个病人每天都认为自己是一盏灯，所以常常把自己吊在天花板上。“医生说：¨不行，你还是得马上把他拉下来，免得他摔死。

after a pause,the nurse answered: "but the light will go out after i pull him down!"

护士停顿了一下，说：¨可是，如果我把他拉下来，灯不就熄了吗?

英文幽默笑话3：

Three gorillas fell out of a tree one by one.

有三只猩猩一个接一个地从树上掉下来。

the first one was sick,the Second was being a copycat and the third gave in to peer pressure.

第一只生病了，第二只盲目模仿，第三只屈服于同僚压力

英文幽默笑话4：

Do you know what Americans call a person in the White House who is intelligent,honest and modest ? The answer”a is";tourist."

你知道美国人如何称呼白宫里聪明、诚实、谦虚的人吗?答案是“观光客。