简短爆笑的英文小笑话大全

笑话,顾名思义,是一种通过幽默的文字或图示来达到令人会心一笑或捧腹大笑效果的文学形式。小编整理了简短爆笑的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!

简短爆笑的英文小笑话：重量事宜

Somewhat sceptical of his son's newfound determination to become Charles Atlas, the fathernevertheless followed the teenager over to the weight-lifting department, admiring a set ofweights.

儿子最近决心要成为Charles Atlas，对于这个决定，父亲多少有点怀疑，不过他还是陪着儿子去了举重器材商店，在那里他们看上了一套举重器材。

"Please, Dad," pleaded the boy, "I promise I'll use 'em every day.""I don't know, Michael.

“哦，爸爸，给我买一套吧，”儿子企求道，“我答应我一定每天都会用它们来练习的。”

It's really a commitment on your part," the father pointed out."Please, Dad?" the boycontinued.

“我也不知道，Michael。这对你来说的确是一项承诺，”父亲对儿子指出这一点。

"They're not cheap either," the father came back.

“好不好嘛，爸爸?”男孩继续央告。“而且这套器材可不便宜。”父亲又说。

"I'll use 'em Dad, I promise. You'll see.

“我真的会天天练的，爸爸，我答应你。你会看到的。”

"Finally won over, the father paid for the equipment and headed for the door.From the corner ofthe store he heard his son yelp, "What! You mean I have to carry them to the car?"

最后，父亲被说服了，他买了这套设备，然后向门外走去。就在这个时候，他听到儿子在商店角落里尖叫着嚷道，“什么!你的意思是我得一个人把这些东西扛到车上去?”

简短爆笑的英文小笑话：有同情心的访客

A big burly man visited the pastor's homeand asked to see the minister's wife,a woman well known for her charitable impulses.

一个高大魁梧的男人到牧师家拜访，他要求会见牧师的妻子，这是一个以有着慈悲心肠而闻名的妇女。

"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attentionto the terrible plight of a poor family in this district.

男人用令人心碎的声音说，“夫人，我希望能引起您的注意的是，这个地区有一户人家现在生活特别困顿，

The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work,and the nine children are starving.

父亲死了，母亲也因重病无法工作，九个孩子都在挨饿。

They are about to be turned into the cold,empty streets unless someone pays their rent,which amounts to $400."

他们即将被赶到空荡荡的大街上，如果没有人为他们付400美元的房租的话。”

"How terrible!"

“这么糟糕!”

exclaimed the preacher's wife."May I ask who you are?"

牧师的妻子惊叫，“我能问问您是谁吗?”

The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord." he sobbed.

这个富于同情心的访客用手绢拭着眼睛，啜泣着说：“我就是他们的房东。”

简短爆笑的英文小笑话：会弹钢琴的狗

A guy walks into a bar with a small dog. The bartender says, "Get out of here with that dog!"

一个人带着他的狗走进一家酒吧。

The guy says, "But this isn't just any dog... this dog can play the piano!"

酒吧服务生对他说，“这里不能带狗进来，请离开吧!”

The bartender replies, "Well, if he can play that piano, you both can stay... and have a drink on the house!"

那个人对服务生说，“这可不是一般的狗，它可是会弹钢琴的!”

So the guy sits the dog on the piano stool, and the dog starts playing.

服务生回答说，“呃， 如果它真的能弹钢琴，你们可以免费在这喝上一杯!”

Ragtime, Mozart... and the bartender and patrons are enjoying the music.

那个人把狗放到了弹钢琴坐的凳子上面，狗就开始了演奏，先是拉格泰姆音乐、接着弹莫扎特还有其它的… …服务生和顾客们都非常欣赏它的弹奏。

Suddenly a bigger dog runs in, grabs the small dog by the scruff of the neck, and drags him out.

突然，一只体型更大的狗跑了进来 ，一把抓住小狗的脖子就把它拽出去了。

The bartender asks the guy, "What was that all about?"

酒吧服务生问那个人，“那是怎么回事?”

The guy replies, "Oh, that was his mother. She wanted him to be a doctor."

那人回答 ，“噢，那是它妈妈。 她不想它儿子玩音乐，而是做一名医生。”