friends搞笑台词

电视剧《老友记》(Friends)，又译名《六人行》，是由NBC电视台(美国全国广播公司)从1994年开播、连续播出了10年的一部幽默情景喜剧，也是美国历史上最成功、影响力最大的电视剧之一。以下是小编为大家准备的《friends》经典台词，希望大家喜欢!

friends搞笑台词(一)

1、Joey: Come on, Ross, that didnt mean anything! She just had the baby, she was all freaked out about doing it alone, she would have said yes to anybody.

罗斯，那不能算数的。她刚刚生了宝宝，觉得无助，这种时候，任何人向她求婚她都会答应的。

Ross: Yeah thats what she said，but I dont wanna be just anybody.

她也这么说，只是，我不想自己只是任何人。

听起来蛮有道理，其实蠢的可以。爱情若是纯粹理论化的东西，我才懒得恋爱，倒不如去一边做习题集。两个人这么多的波折，罗斯的原则负有不可推卸的责任。自己爱的人最需要自己的时候，竟然还能这样冷静的分析，这种状态下的罗斯，不嫁也罢。

2、Joey: MIKE!!!

Mike: Yeah?

缘分这东西真的很奇妙，菲比交往了无数的男生，都不能走到理想的位置。乔伊在咖啡馆里这一声离谱的呼唤，竟给她带来了意想不到的爱侣。所以，我们吃完饭要说谢谢，公车上要积极让座，吵架前要先微笑，上衣口袋要别着钢笔，因为没准你的另一半就在这些场景里出现呢，要时刻准备给她留个好的第一印象。

3、Phoebe: Why did you go along with that?

你被乔伊伙同去骗我们，图什么呢?

Mike: Because I was told Id get a free dinner, which I didnt. And that Id meet a pretty girl. Which I did.

他说我可以蹭顿饭，结果却让我买单;他还说此行有美女可看，这倒是真看着了，而且到现在还没有看够。

4、Joey: (On the phone with Chandler) Double promise?

钱德勒去外地工作，机场上不停安慰家里人说还会跟从前一样，他一定会按时回家之类的。镜头切换，电话这头竟然不是莫尼卡而是乔伊，他带着哭腔：你说话要算术，拉钩，再拉一次

5、Monica: let me be a part of this.

莫尼卡误以为钱德勒有窥鲨鱼癖好，竟为他租了鲨鱼录像带。或许有人觉得这里有些变态，但对于我来说，这一段变态而令人神往。(You kown I mean Minica but the sharks,ha?)

6、Chandler: You are incredible. Im not gonna smoke again. And if I do, I promise, I will hide it so much better from you.

我以后绝对不再吸烟了，如果忍不住又吸，我也保证不会再让你发现。

戒不掉的就隐藏吧，有时候躲避也是一种重视，而重视可以调和恶习的危害。

7、Joey: (mumbling) Never hit a woman. Never hit a woman.Ross bruises like a peach. He bruises like a peach.

绝对不能打女人!罗斯软得像柿子!

乔伊克制自己打人冲动的自言自语。食、色、低能、直接，乔伊的一切爱好习惯都是那么原始，或者说，纯朴。至少他不做作，不虚伪;至少他真的像个男人，不欺负女生和弱者。

8、David: Well, it got me to New York anyway, and then I got on a cab at the airport, and the guy said where to? and I just... gave him your address I... I... I didnt even think about it.

回国后，在机场上了出租车，司机问我要去哪里，我几乎想都没想就告诉他你家的地址。

Phoebe: Wow. Where is your luggage? (David thinks for a while)

那你的行李呢?

David: Damn it!

靠，我晕。

其实落魄科学家戴维同志还是很不错的，他和麦克互戳手指的决斗超酷，还有出门前那句俗套而认真的take good care of her.

9、Phoebe: Oh my God, youre RICH!

你家真有钱哪。

Mike: No, my parents are rich.

不，是我爹妈有钱。

什么人比小开更诱人?这样的小开!

10、Chandler: Look, Im, Im married!Im happily married.

Tulsa的感恩节，钱德勒善良的完整体现。他是一个好上司，一个好朋友，一个好丈夫。他驱散了加班的手下回家过节，他拒绝了选美亚军的朱唇俏脸，为了与妻子和朋友们共度，他甚至不惜辞掉了工作。

11、Chandler: Well look, its not easy to spend this much time apart, you know. Shes entitled to be a little paranoid... or, in this case: right on money! ... You know, shes amazing, and beautiful, and smart, and if she were here right now, ...shed kick your ass.

你知道，两地分居并不容易。所以她有些敏感，还有些贪钱。但是，她是那么美好，那么漂亮，那么聪明善良，她要是在这里的话，看见你这样勾引我，早就狠揍你了。

12、Monica: I thought you hated him?

你不是说你讨厌他吗?

Rachel: You know honey, there is a thin line between love and hate, and it turns out that line...is a scarf!

爱与恨只有一线之隔，何况这条线还是一条漂亮的围巾呢?

13、Chandler: Maybe I should quit and get a job that pays.

或许我该去找份能挣钱的工作了。

Monica: Oh...But youre finally doing something that you love! I cant ask you to give that up.

但你好不容易找了份自己喜欢做的工作，让你放弃理想，我舍不得。

bing家经济危机，钱德勒要委屈自己转行，莫尼卡体贴丈夫。经济有时是情感的试金石，特别是没有经济的时候。

14、Mike: No, no! What I mean is...I hate going back to my apartment now...And partly because I live above a known crack den but...mostly because when Im there...Its just...i really miss you.

我不想回家了。首先因为我的公寓环境很不咋地还因为我发现我一分钟都离不开你。

听惯了琼瑶阿姨的爱比天大的对白，偶尔听一下麦克式的表白(简称麦克白)是不是感动更多一些，觉得更加实在。无限度的夸张已经被唾弃了，诚实的男孩更加可爱，情话，渐渐步入欲扬先抑的时代。

15、Mike: But I dont want this to end.

Phoebe: I dont want it to end either.

两个深爱着的人，却由于对婚姻的不同态度要生硬的分开。看看麦克，看看以前的钱德勒，才发现没有永恒的观点，没有可以预言的明天，对待感情最好的态度还是顺其自然。经历了开始的狂热期，还能够爱得难分难舍是多么的难得，这种奇妙的感觉不见得比那两张废纸单薄，而且只有抓住珍惜这种感觉，才能心甘情愿的拿到那两张废纸。

16、Mike: I mean, If I had known the last time I saw you would be the last time, I... I would have stopped to memorize your face, the way you move, everything about you. If I had known the last time I kissed you would have been the last time... I never would have stopped.

如果我早知道上次是最后一次相见，我一定会认真记住你的脸，记住你的每个表情，记住你的一举一动，把与你相关的一切都铭记在脑中;如果早知道上次是和你的最后一吻，不管呼吸多困难，身边又有多大的事儿发生，我都会一直吻下去，永远不会停。

17、Monica: Because I know that you think the lottery is boohaki but were all here and gonna watch the numbers and have fun. And youre my brother, and I want you to be a part of this.

虽然你说买彩票是脑子进水，但是我们大家都坐在一起等待开奖，一起期待，一起享受快乐，你是我哥，我不想你冷落在一边，所以我为你付钱，也买了一些彩票。

18、Joey: (to Chandler) Hey, that is so great about the job. And I like to think I had a little something to do with it.Well, before, with the wishbone... I didnt wish we would win the lottery, I wished youd get the job.

恭喜你得到这么好的工作，这里面也有我的功劳啊。刚才分许愿骨的时候，我的愿望不是彩票中大奖，而是让你得到这份工作。

乔伊最大的好处就是情感反馈能力极强，谁对他好，他就加倍对谁好，永远不会让人觉得白疼了这个傻小子。

19、Monica: Who was so worried about her restaurant being fancy that she made a big deal about her friend playing her music and feels really bad about it now? (raises her hand)

有谁因为太在乎自己的餐厅而诋毁朋友的音乐，因为这件事正在后悔不迭?

Phoebe: Oh... Who was so stupid and stubborn that she lashed out against her friends cooking which she actually thinks is pretty great! (raises her hand)

有谁又愚蠢又顽固明知朋友的厨艺极好却百般挑剔，现在知道自己错了的?

日常相处中，大家多玩玩这种举手游戏，衡量一下友谊和面子哪个更重，就没有什么过不去的了。

20、Ross: And if you think about it, I mean the reason he memorized all that stuff is because he thought it was important to you. You know, thats the kind of guy Joey is.

乔伊是很笨，什么都不懂。但是，从另一个角度看，他死记硬背了那么多的艺术资料、复杂评论，都是为了和你能更好的在一起，只是为了能和你多一点共同话题。乔伊就是一个这样的人，会为别人着想，会尽全力的让对方快乐。

乔伊是个这样的好人，面对喜欢的女孩，狠夸情敌的罗斯又何尝不是呢?

21、Monica: I just... I just realized I dont care if hes the most perfect guy in the world... hes not you. And if I cant get pregnant with you, then I dont want to get pregnant by... him or anyone else.

我不管他是否是世界上最健康优秀的男子，我只知道，他不是你。如果不能和你一起生一个孩子，我也不想跟任何人生。

22、Mike: Phoebe, I love you. I mean, I missed you so much these last few months and I thought we were apart for a good reason, but then I suddenly realized that there was no reason good enough to keep me from spending the rest of my life with you.

分开以后，我相思如焚。我一直劝慰自己这是没有办法的事，我们分手有足够的理由。现在我才明白，根本没有任何理由能足够到把我们分开，我们注定是要在一起的。

23、Chandler: (In a loving voice) Yes, I do. Now, I may not understand why you have to win so badly, but if its important to you then its important to me, because I love you.

我实在搞不懂你为什么如此好胜。但是，如果输赢对你真的有那么大的意义，那么我就该和你一起拼命争取，谁让我爱你呢?

friends搞笑台词(二)

1、Chandler: All right, there’s a nuclear holocaust, I’m the last man on Earth. Would you go out with me?

“如果核爆炸，世界上只剩我一个男人，你会爱我吗?”

钱德勒不停地问莫尼卡会不会爱他，答案都是否定的。你能想象几年后他们有那么幸福吗?

2、Joey: That’s right I stepped up! She’s my friend and she needed help! And if I had too, I’d pee on anyone of you!

乔伊白痴而感人的宣言：“如果你们需要，我可以在你们任何人身上尿尿。”

3、Ross: I didn’t know what I was taking full responsibility for! Okay?! I didn’t finish the whole letter!

罗斯真的有些小气，作为男生承担这些责任又怎么了?过去听他讲“on the break”觉得好玩，现在越来越觉得这时的他可恨了。

4、Mrs. Geller: And the next time you cater for me, there will be nothing but ice in the freezer.

聚会上人们都喜欢吃莫尼卡做的东西，盖勒夫人终于承认了自己的女儿，说下次再也不会准备备用食物了。

5、Chandler: Oh, I just wanted to say, "Hey!"

钱德勒跑过好几条街，跌倒了无数次，只是为了跟女孩子说一句“hey”。可惜她是乔伊的女友，虽然她跟钱德勒更合适。

还是喜欢做一个会气喘吁吁的说“真巧”的男孩，不管我有多老，追着喜欢的女孩跑，永远是最美的心跳牵动的心跳。

6、Chandler: That I haven't stopped thinking about her since the moment I met her. That I'm so fantastically, over-the-top, wanna-slit-my-own-throat in love with her, that for every minute of every hour of every day I can't believe my own damn bad luck that you met her first!!

钱德勒说出对乔伊女友的真实感受：“从见到她的第一眼开始，我就不可救药的爱上了她，我疯了似的思念她，梦寐以求有她相伴左右。每一天每一小时每一分钟的每一秒里我都在痛恨自己为什么不能比你早认识她。”

7、Chandler: Oh, it wasn't a big deal. I just went to a couple of bookstores, talked to a couple of dealers... called a couple of the author's grandchildren.

钱德勒跑了许多家书店，问了许多书商，又给原作者的后人打了许多电话，才买到了很稀有的书作为生日礼物，但乔伊只买了一支能看时间的笔，所以，钱德勒只好跟乔伊互换了礼物。 越来越爱钱德勒!

8、Ross: No the-the sad thing is, if you had told him how you felt before you kissed her, knowing Joey, he probably just would've just stepped aside.

钱德勒如果早跟乔伊坦白自己对乔伊女友的感受，情况会好得多。

或者说，罗斯早跟钱德勒说这些话，情况就会好得多。

9、Joey: When that guy was robbing us, and I was locked in the entertainment unit for like six hours, you know what I was doing in there all that time? I was thinking about how I let you down!

“我们家被抢劫的时候，我被关在橱子里，整整六个小时，我都在想我会害你多难过。”

10、Monica: Fine! Judge all you want to but, married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire, livin’ in a box!!

莫尼卡因为先后和理查父子约会受到指责，然后愤怒的揭短。是呀，六人中没有一个的人生完美，但他们都在快乐的生活;没有一个没犯过错，但他们都是最善良的。

11、Rachel: Don’t say that I have no sentiment! This is a movie stub from our first date! This is an eggshell from the first time you made me breakfast in bed! This is from the museum from the first time we… were together. Okay, maybe I exchange gifts sometimes, but I keep the things that matter!

瑞秋让人动情的一刻：“不要说我没有人情味儿。这是我们第一次一起看电影的票根，这是你第一次为我做早餐时剩的蛋壳，这是我们第一次约会时从博物馆拿的化石。我可能会把你们送的礼物退掉，但我会保留所有我认为值得珍藏的东西。”

12、KATHY: you not being able to talk may make this easier. Listen umm… Listen I don’t wanna be someone who comes between two best friends. I just, I can’t stand seeing what this is doing to you guys, and I don’t wanna be the cause of that. So, I don’t think we can see each other anymore. I’m gonna go to my mom’s in Chicago, I’m gonna stay there for awhile. I think this could’ve be something really amazing, but y’know this is probably for the best. Y’know? I’m gonna miss you. Good-bye

凯茜对箱子里的钱德勒所说的话：“你现在不能说话也好，这样我们的离别也不必那么难受。我不想做影响你们兄弟感情的女人，我没法眼睁睁的看着你们为了我互不理睬。所以我觉得我们还是不要再见面了，我会去芝加哥我妈那调整一段时间。我知道我们在一起会有多么幸福，但现在来看，分开才是最好的结局。你能理解吗?我会想你的。亲爱的再见。”

13、Phoebe: Yeah. That’s what you really want. Yeah, I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy, that would just make me unhappy, and I really don’t want to be the reason I’m unhappy.

菲比放弃了和莫尼卡的餐车，支持她去做大厨。因为那是莫尼卡真正想做的，委屈莫尼卡就是委屈她自己，菲比不想委屈自己……

14、Phoebe Sr: I gave up two babies, and I only wish I had someone there that had given up babies, that could tell me how terrible it is to give up babies. I just think that, it would be something you will regret every single day for the rest of your life.

菲比的妈妈对她说：我抛弃过两个孩子，我多希望当时有人能告诉我这是多么糟糕的事情，这使得我以后的日子每一天都在无尽的悔恨中度过。

15、Monica: 1, a 2, a 1-2-3, 3, 5, a 4, a 3-2, 2, a 2-4-6, 2-4-6, 4, (Rachel starts getting worked up) 2, 2, 4-7, 5-7, 6-7, 7, …7..…7…7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7-7…(mouths 7)!

无话不谈的老友，钱德勒的女友当晚跑过来跟莫尼卡致谢。

16、Ross: I’m having my lunch at this table, here in the middle. I’m having lunch right here, with my good friend Joey, if he’ll sit with me.

罗斯为了好朋友乔伊，在博物馆的午餐桌上发起了反对阶级歧视运动。

17、Phoebe: No, I’m really okay with this. Y’know why? ‘Cause look at them, and I made that, so… I know it’s gonna be like a million times harder to give up a baby but, oh my God, it’s gonna feel like a million times better, right?

菲比决定为弟弟和弟妹生孩子。虽然放弃孩子时会有十万分的难过，但看到弟弟弟妹高兴的样子，也会有十万分的幸福。全世界最伟大的姐姐。

18、Kathy: Acting! Chandler, this is my job! I’m-I’m playing a part in a play! How can you not trust me?!

Chandler: Well, you can understand, given how we started.

凯茜对钱德勒说你怎么能觉得我背叛你呢?钱德说那我们又是怎么开始的?

难以置信聪明、善良的钱德勒会说出这么伤人的话。永远不要揭爱人的伤疤，尤其是这伤疤是为你而结。

19、Joey: Well, suppose until the baby’s born I laid off it. No extra animals would die, you-you’d just be eating my animals.

菲比怀孕后很想吃肉，但素食主义的她很在意杀生。食肉狂人乔伊为了让她心安，自动戒肉直到小孩子出世，把吃肉的机会让给了好朋友。

20、Rachel: Ross, that girl just spent the entire evening talking to your friends, asking to hear stories about you, looking through Monica’s photo albums, I mean you don’t do that if you’re just in it for two weeks.

这个女孩花整晚时间跟你的朋友聊天，问你以前的事儿，要你的影集看，你觉得这是一段短暂情缘的表现吗?

21、Rachel: It’s okay. Sometimes, things don’t work out the way you’d thought they would.

有时候，生活不像你想象中那么美好。

得悉罗斯要结婚，可怜的瑞秋，她总觉得他们可以分分合合，可一旦没有了合的可能，她才感觉到对方的重要。

22、Phoebe: So, did shopping make you feel any better about Ross?

购物能减轻你对罗斯的思念吗?

Rachel: Manhattan does not have enough stores.

美国的店铺显然不够多。

23、Monica: Ross, how long have you been planning this wedding?

“罗斯，你什么时候开始筹备的这场婚礼?”

Ross: I don’t know. A month?

“记不清了，一个多月前吧。”

Monica: Emily has probably been planning it since she was five! Ever since the first time she took a pillowcase and hung it off the back of her head. That’s what we did! We dreamed about the perfect wedding, and the perfect place, w. But the most important part is that we had the perfect guy who understood just how important all that other stuff was.

“女孩子在五岁的时候就开始幻想她的婚礼了，她们要最完美的婚礼，最理想的地方，更重要的，她们想要一个真正懂得这场仪式对她有多大意义的人来托付终身。”

24、Rachel: Y’know what? No. It’s not over until someone says, "I do."

在他们正式结婚以前，我是不会放弃的。

25、Minister: Take thee, Emily...

Ross: Take thee, Rachel...