小学经典英语笑话大全

笑话能够折射出社会生活中的方方面面,同时,笑话可以在说笑中蕴含着人们对于美好生活的期盼和诉求。小编分享小学经典英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

小学经典英语笑话：Talking Parrot

A woman went into a pet shop and said to the man, "I want a parrot, but sell me one thatdefinitely talks."

The man sold her a parrot, saying, "This one definitely talks."

The woman took him home, set his cage up on a table, and said to the parrot, "Okay, talk."

The parrot said, "Show me your tits."

The woman was outraged. So she put him in the refrigerator. After a while, she took him out and said, "So talk."

Again, the parrot said, "Show me your tits."

To show the parrot his place, she put him in the fridge for a longer time, but still the same thing happened. She was quite annoyed. This time she put him in the freezer.

There was a turkey in the freezer. The parrot said to the turkey, "How did you get here? Did you ask for a blowjob?"

小学经典英语笑话：The Koala Bear

A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the bartender brings him a sandwich

The Koala eats the sandwich and gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, an proceeds to walk out of the bar.

The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "hey who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think your going!

The Koala replies, "Hey I'm a Koala. Look it up."

The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala: "n. amarsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

小学经典英语笑话：A Duck in a Convenience Store

This duck walks into a convenience store and asks the clerk, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk again says no, and the duck leaves. The day after that, the duck walks in the store again and asks "Do you have any grapes?" The clerk screams at the duck, "You've come in here the past two days and asked if we had any grapes. I told you no every time that we don't have any grapes! I swear if you come back in here again, and ask for grapes, I'll nail your webbed feet to the floor!!" The duck left, and returned the next day. This time he asked, "Do you have any nails?" The clerk replied, "No," and the duck said, "Good! Got any grapes?"

小学经典英语笑话：No Ride

A woman was driving along, and her car broke down. She decided to hitchhike to the nearest gas station. A truck driver hauling a load of chickens pulled up. The driver asked, "Hey, little lady, need a lift?"

"Yes, my car broke down, and I need a ride to the nearest gas station."

The driver replied, "OK, but first you have to fuck me! No fuck, no ride."

She said, "I'm sorry, I don't need a ride that badly."

So the driver pulled away. All this time, the driver had a parrot on his shoulder. The parrot started saying, "No fuck, no ride! No fuck, no ride!" The driver said, "You had better shut up, bird, or I'm gonna throw you in back with the chickens!"

About two miles down the road, the parrot said, "No fuck, no ride!" So the driver slammed on the breaks and threw him in back with the chickens! About 2 more miles further down the road, the driver heard sirens and saw flashing lights, so he pulled over. He got out of the truck and approached the officer. "What's the problem, officer. I wasn't speeding was I?"

The officer said, "I wasn't pulling you over for speeding. I just wanted to inform you that you have a parrot throwing chickens out the trailer screaming, "No fuck, no ride! No fuck, no ride!"