英式幽默笑话，搞笑英语笑话

话在文体上即文学样式上属于小说,因为它和小说“血缘”关系最近。笑话具有的娱乐功能是其首要功能。笑话虽小,但它含有极强的语言表达技巧和人类的高超智慧。下面是小编带来的英式幽默搞笑笑话，欢迎阅读!

英式幽默搞笑笑话篇一

Thirstin for Love

渴望爱情

Thurston was in the habit of visiting his girl-friend's apartment from time to time,

沙斯敦经常去他女友的公寓住处，

but always managed to get home at a decent hour with a plausible excuse.

但他总是设法找个理由以免太晚回家。

But this time, both he and his girlfriend had fallen asleep,

但这一次，他和女朋友都睡着了，

and it was 2:00 a. m before Thurston came to.

当他醒来时都已经凌晨两点了，

Thinking fast, he immediately called home,

沙斯敦脑筋一转，立刻打电话回家，

and when his wife answered, panted, "Don't pay the ransom! I've escaped!"

当他太太接电话时，他故意喘着气说：“千万不要付赎金!我已经安全逃出来了!”

英式幽默搞笑笑话篇二

And Where Did You Meet Your Wife?

你在哪里遇到你太太呢?

Two acquaintances were in the barber shop getting shaves at the same time.

两个熟识的朋友刚好同时在理发店内刮胡子。

After the barbers had finished,

理发师刮完他们的胡子后，

each man was asked if he would like some after-shave applied to his skin.

两人都被问到要不要在脸上抹上一些刮胡子后所使用的香水。

"No, no," answered the first man.

“不，不，”第一个先生说。

"My wife will think I've been in a whorehouse. "

“我太太会以为我去过妓院。”

"Go ahead," said the other.

“我没关系，”另一个先生说道。

"My wife has never been in a whorehouse ! "

“我太太从没在妓院待过!”

英式幽默搞笑笑话篇三

A Touching Farewell

一个感人的告别

Two old friends were out golfing.

两个老朋友出外打高尔夫球。

As they were preparing to tee off near a road,

当他们在一处路旁准备开球时，

a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed.

一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里，其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前，直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。

"Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner.

“你这样做实在很有礼貌，”他的同伴说道。

"Oh, it was the least I could do.

“喔，那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。

After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "

毕竟，到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。

英式幽默搞笑笑话篇四

A Half-price Ticket

半价票

"How much is the movie ticket?"

“电影票多少钱一张?”

"Ten dollars, kid."

“10美元，孩子。”

"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."

“我只有5美元。请让我进去吧，我只用一只眼睛看。”

英式幽默搞笑笑话篇五

Failure in a Test

考试不及格

Mother: Why did you get such a low mark on that test?

妈妈:这次测试你为什么得这么低的分?

Kid: Because of absence.

孩子:因为缺考。

Mother: You mean you were absent on the day of the test?

妈妈：你的意思是考试那天你没去?

Kid: No, but the kid who sits next to me was.

孩子:不是，是坐在我旁边的孩子没来。