经典英语小笑话大全爆笑

善讲笑活,很受各种社交场台的欢迎,因为人们喜欢与机敏活泼、幽默风趣的人交往。下面是小编带来的经典爆笑英语小笑话，欢迎阅读!

经典爆笑英语小笑话篇一

寻找出纳员 Looking for a Cashier

There was a banker who attended a dinner party, and a friend said to him, "Oh! I heard that your bank is looking for a cashier," and the banker said "Yes, yes, we are, we are." And then the friend said, "But I thought you just hired one a few weeks ago."

So the banker replied, "Yes, yes, indeed, we did. That's the one we're looking for now."

So the friend said, "Can you describe him? What does he look like?" And the banker replied, "Well, he is about five feet tall and (we're about) one hundred thousand dollars short."

晚宴上，有位银行家坐在那儿，他的朋友问他：“我听说你们银行在找一位出纳，是吗?”银行家回答：“是的，我们是在找。”朋友说：“不过你们几个礼拜以前不是已经请到一个人了吗?”

银行家说：“我们确实是雇用了一个人，而我们现在就是在找这个人。”

那个友人说：“你说说看他长什么样子?”银行家回答：“他是五尺(无耻)之士，身长(藏)十万。”

经典爆笑英语小笑话篇二

你不就想要那块小的吗

One day, Bill and Tom went to a restaurant for dinner.

As soon as the waiter took out two steaks, Bill quickly picked out the bigger steak for himself.Tom wasn’t happy about that: “When are you going to learn to be polite?”

Bill: “If you had the chance to pick first, which one would you pick?”

Tom: “The smaller piece, of course.”

Bill: “What are you whining about then?

The smaller piece is what you want, right?”

一天，比尔和汤姆到一家餐厅吃晚饭。

当服务员端上了两份牛排时，比尔豪不客气地挑走了较大的那份。

汤姆不高兴地说：“什么时候你才能学会礼貌?”

比尔说：“如果给你机会先挑，你会选哪块?”

汤姆回答说：“当然是小的那块。”

比尔说道：“那你还有什么可抱怨的?你不就想要那块小的吗?”

经典爆笑英语小笑话篇三

实质性的纠正 An Essential Correction

Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast this morning.

Walter: What was it?

Teacher: Eggs.

Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.

老师：沃尔特，你为什么不洗脸?我看得出你今天早饭吃了什么。

沃尔特：我吃了什么?

老师：鸡蛋。

沃尔特：错了，老师。那是昨天吃的。

经典爆笑英语小笑话篇四

一还是二 One or Two Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.

Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.

顾客：服务员，我盘子里怎么只有一块肉?

服务员：先生，请稍候，我去把它切成两块。

经典爆笑英语小笑话篇五

哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊?

How could anyone stoop so low?

Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn't dare discuss in front of him -- his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, "Someone just picked my pocket!" Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, "How could anyone stoop so low?"

我们的餐厅经理是一位深受大家爱戴，和蔼而又快乐的人。但在他面前有一件事不能提--他的身高。或者，我应该说，他是有点矮!一天，经理怒气冲冲地撞门而入，高声说，

“有人拿了我的钱包!”

我和其她大部女招待都没敢吱声，但有人却蹦出一句话：

“哪有人能弯腰弯那么低的啊”!