让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话大全

2017-03-24

民间笑话是一种根植于日常生活的美学形态。笑话产生于日常生活语境之中,以消遣和娱乐为目的,由普通民众创造、表演和欣赏。下面是小编带来的让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话,欢迎阅读!

让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话篇一

Lasting Marriage 维持婚姻的秘诀

Some people ask the secret of Anthony's long marriage.

有人问Anthony拥有长久的婚姻的秘诀。

They take time to go to a restaurant two times a week:

秘诀是:他们每周去两次餐厅:

a little candlelight dinner, soft music, and a slow walk home.

听着轻柔的音乐吃一顿烛光晚餐,然后漫步回家。

The Mrs. goes Tuesdays; He goes Fridays.

不过Anthony太太是周二去,而Anthony是周五去。

让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话篇二

Letter to God 写给上帝的信

A little boy needed $50 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

有个小男孩非常需要50美元,他为此祷告了数周但是什么也没发生。

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $50. When the post office received the letter to God, USA, they decided to send it to the President.

后来,他决定写封信向上帝索要这50美元。邮局接到这封信,想了想觉得还是应该交给总统比较好。

The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the boy a $5.00 bill. The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

总统被逗笑了,于是指示秘书寄给小男孩5美元,因为他觉得5美元对于一个小孩来讲已经是不少了。

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read: Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money.

小男孩收到了钱很高兴,给上帝回了一封感谢信,信里写道:尊敬的上帝,非常感谢你把钱寄给我。

However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and, as usual, those turkeys kept $45 in taxes.

然而,我发现这些钱是通过白宫寄出的,因此,和往常一样,那帮家伙收了我45美元的税。

让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话篇三

Love Dress 爱的衣裳

A mother is going over to son's house,who happened to be just married.She knocks on the door, and her daughter-in-law answers, naked.

一个母亲去刚刚结了婚的儿子家,她敲了敲门,开门的是儿媳妇,她居然没有穿任何衣服!

The mother is shocked, and goes,quot;Why are you walking around the house naked?"The new wife replies, "Well, this is my love dress,and when I wear this dress, my husband get's really excited."

婆婆很吃惊地说,“你干吗光着身子在屋里走啊?”新媳妇回答,“哦,我穿的是爱的衣裳,每次我一穿这衣服,我老公就会变得很激动。”

The mother ponders over this for a while, then goes home.After a little more thinking,the mother decides to try it on her husband when he gets home.So when her husband knocks on the door, she answers it, naked.

婆婆沉吟了一会儿就回家了。她又想了一阵,决定在自己老公回家时,也用这一招试试他。于是,当她老公敲门时,她也光着身子去应门。

The husband looks her up and down.Then he asks, "Why in the world are you walking around the house naked?!"So the mother explains, "This is my love dress."

老头上上下下地打量了她一番,说,“你到底是在干吗,光着身子在屋里走来走去?!”老太婆回答,“这是一件爱的衣裳啊。”

The husband looks shocked, and then replies,quot;Well, it needs to be ironed!"

老头看起来很震惊,然后说道,“哦,那你这件衣服实在是该熨一熨了。”

让人忍俊不禁的英语笑话篇四

Marry in the heaven 在天堂结婚

A young couple was on their way to get married when they had an accident and died.

一对年轻的夫妇在去结婚的路上出了车祸,双双死去了。

Now they were in front of St. Peter and the young lady asked if they could get married. St. Peter told them, he would have to get back to them with an answer.

于是,他们来到了圣徒彼得面前,妻子问是否她还可以和丈夫结婚,圣徒彼得告诉他们,关于这个问题他一有了结果就会回来找他们。

Around 30 days later St. Peter returns and tells the couple that they can get married in heaven.

差不多30天以后,圣徒彼得回来了,并且告诉他们可以在天堂结婚。

The young lady then asks St. Peter, “If things just don't work out can we get a divorce?" St. Peter looks at her and replies, " Lady it took me 30 days to find a preacher up here do you really think I am going to find a lawyer?!!"

妻子又问:“如果生活的不愉快,我们可不可以离婚呢?”圣徒彼得看着她,回答说:“夫人,我花了30天才找到个传教士,难道你真的希望我再去找个律师吗?”

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