2016爆笑小学英语笑话大全

笑话是一种十分常见的语言现象，在日常生活中，它无处不在，起着十分重要的作用。小编整理了2016爆笑小学英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

2016爆笑小学英语笑话：Imitation 模仿

A schoolboy went home with a pain in his stomach. Well, sit down and eat your tea, said his mother. Your stomach's hurting because it's empty. It'll be all right when you've got something in it.

Shortly afterwards Dad come in from the office, complaining of a headache.

That's because it's empty, said his bright son. You'd be all right if you had something in it.

一个男孩放学回家时，觉得肚子痛。来，坐下，吃点点心，妈妈说，你肚子痛是因为肚子是空的。吃点东西就会好的。

一会儿，男孩的爸爸下班回家了，说是头痛。

你头痛是因为你的脑袋是空的，他那聪明的儿子说，里面装点东西，就会好的。

2016爆笑小学英语笑话：Pirate's Treasure 海盗的财富

"Ten steps from the porch(门廊) and twenty steps from the rose bushes," growledBluebeard in Jimmy's dream one night. "There be treasure there! Aawrgh."

So the next day Jimmy began to dig. He dug until the hole was deep and the dirt pile was high.

He kept digging. The hole got deeper and the dirt pile got higher.

He dug until the hole was deepest and the dirt pile was at its highest. He sighed. "I'm too tired. I can't dig anymore." Then he spied something... but it was only one of Woofy's bones. Instead of treasure, all Jimmy had was a dog bone, a hole, and a big pile of dirt to fill it in with. He thought "That pirate lied to me!"

But when Jimmy's mother saw what he had done, she clasped(紧抱，扣紧) her hands and smiled a smile from here to Sunday. "Oh, thank you, Jimmy. I always wanted arhododendron(杜鹃) bush planted just there. Here's $5.00 for digging that hole."

2016爆笑小学英语笑话：I Just Want $100

Sammy prayed every night for two weeks, asking God for $100.

When he got no response, he thought it would be a good idea to write to God and see if that worked.

The post office received the letter addressed to “God, Los Angeles.” They decided that it would be best to just forward the letter to the mayor. The mayor read the letter and thought it was cute, so he asked his secretary to send the boy $10, thinking the boy would think that was a lot of money for a little boy.

When Sammy got the money, he was so excited that he sat down immediately to write a thank-you letter.

“Dear God,” he wrote, “Thank you very much for the money you sent. I guess it is to be expected but I thought you should know this: When you sent it through City Hall, the government deducted(扣除，减去) $90.”

2016爆笑小学英语笑话：How do gentlemen do it

Dick was seven years old, and his sister, Catherine, was five. One day their mothertook them to their aunt's house to play while she went to the big city to buy some new clothes.

The children played for an hour, and then at half past four their aunt took Dick into the kitchen. She gave him a nice cake and a knife and said to him, "Now here's a knife, Dick. Cut this cake in half and give one of the pieces to your sister, but remember to do it like a gentleman."

"Like a gentleman?" Dick asked. "How do gentlemen do it?"

"They always give the bigger piece to the other person." answered his aunt at once.

"Oh" said Dick. He thought about this for a few seconds. Then he took the cake to his sister and said to her,"Cut this cake in half, Catherine.".

2016爆笑小学英语笑话：Excited Remarks

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive.

One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedlypointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.