经典英语笑话集大全
冷笑话有着其独有的风格和特点,它的出现和传播必定有一定的原因。下面小编整理了经典英语笑话集，希望大家喜欢!
经典英语笑话集摘抄
早退(中英)
These two construction workers always noticed that their boss always left early on Fridays. So one asked the other that if the boss left early next Friday if he would want to also. The other man agreed.
两个建筑工人发现他们的老板总是在周五提前下班。所以，一个工人问另一个，如果下周五老板还早走，他们能不能也早走。另一个人同意了。
Sure enough, when Friday came，the boss left early. Therefore，the two men left also. The one offered the other to join him down at the bar, but he decided to just head on home. When he arrived home，he heard a noise from upstairs. When he reached the top of the stairs, he noticed that the noise was coming from the bedroom. He opened the door and saw his boss sleeping with his wife, so he quietly closed the door and headed back down the stairs and out the front door.
不出所料，周五的时候老板又提前走了，因此他们两个也走了。一个工人邀请另一个去酒吧，但是另一个决定要直接回家。当他到家以后听到有声音从楼上传来。他走到楼上时发现声音是从卧室传出来的。他打开卧室的门看见他的老板和他的妻子在一起，所以他轻轻的关上门，然后下楼冲出了大门。
He made his way down to the bar to see if his friend was still there and he was. His friend asked，"I thought you were headed home.”The man replied，"I did，but this is the last time I ever leave work early again.” His friend asked, “Why's that?" The man replied, "The boss almost caught me.”
他来到了酒吧，看到了他的朋友还在那里。他的朋友问他:“我以为你直接回家了。”那个男人回答:“我是回家了，但是这是我最后一次早退，我再也不那么做了。”他的朋友问:“为什么?”那个男人回答:“老板差一点抓住我。”
经典英语笑话集鉴赏
价钱(中英)
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber. “I' m afraid I'm the bearer of bad news,” he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain transplant. It’s an experimental procedure, semi一risky, and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves.”
医院里亲戚们在等候室里，他们家里的一员病得很重。最后，医生走进来，他看上去有些疲惫和优虑。“我恐怕带来了不好的消息”，他看着那一张张担心的面孔说，“你们挽救你们最亲爱的人惟一的机会，就是大脑移植了。这种手术还属于试验阶段，只有一半成功的可能性。你们要为移植的大脑付钱。”
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked, "hell, how much does a brain cost?" The doctor quickly responded, “$5，000 for a male brain, and X200 for a female brain.” The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually looked.
家庭成员听到这个消息时都沉默地坐在那里。过了很长时间，有人问:“天哪，一个大脑要多少钱?”医生马上回答:“男性大脑要五千美元，女性大脑要二百美元。”这时气氛变得尴尬。屋子里的男性忍着不笑出来，避免和女人有眼神的接触，但还是有人看了看她们。
A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask，"Why is the male brain so much more?" The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and so to the entire group said, "It' s just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains，because they've been used.”
一个男人终于控制不了自己的好奇心，问了一个每个人都想知道的问题:“为什么男性的大脑这么值钱?”医生对那个幼稚无知的人笑了笑，对所有人说:“这是标准的价格。我们不得不对女性的大脑减价，因为她们的大脑是用过的。”
经典英语笑话集赏析
魔镜(中英)
One late night, a blonde was traveling when she passed a hotel and decided to stop for the night. When she entered the hotel，she rented a room for the night and on her way up, she heard some ladies talking in the hall about a secret mirror in the girl’s washroom on the bottom floor.
一天深夜，一个旅途中的金发女郎路过一个宾馆，她决定在那里停下来住一夜。她走进宾馆租了一间房准备住一个晚上。当她上楼的时候，她听到大厅里一些女人正在谈论一楼女卫生间里有关神秘镜的事情。
The blonde became so curious that she had to check it out. So, that night the blonde went to the girls' washroom on the bottom floor. When she got there she saw a line in front of a mirror in which she joined.
这个金发女郎对这个非常好奇，就决定去看一看。那天深夜，她来到了一楼的女卫生间。当她到了那里时，看见在镜子前面有一群人在排队，她就加人了进去。
Now the rule with this magic mirror was that she who told the truth in this mirror would be granted any wish she desired, but she who told a lie in this mirror would be sucked up into the mirror and never seen again.
站在镜子前面的人必须讲实话，那样的话，魔镜就可以实现讲话人的一个愿望。但是，如果在镜子前面不讲实话，就会被镜子吸进去再也出不来。
So the blonde watched, the first lady looked in the mirror and said，"I think I' m the most beautiful women in the world...” sssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. The next lady in line went up to the mirror and said, "I think I’m the sexiest women in the world. . .” ssssshhhhhhhuuuuuuuupppp, she was sucked into the mirror and never seen again. Next the blonde went up to the mirror with total confidence and said，"I think. . .”ssssssssshhhhhhhhuuuuuuuppppp, she was sucked up into the mirror and never seen again!
就这样金发女郎看着，第一个女人看着镜子说:“我觉得我是世界上最漂亮的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她被镜子吸了进去再也没出来。第二个女人走到镜子前面说:“我觉得我是世界上最性感的女人。”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻......”她也被镜子吸进去再没出来。接着那个金发女郎满怀信心地走到镜子前面说:“我觉得……”“嘶嘶嘶僻僻僻……”她也被魔镜吸了进去再没出来!