初中英语笑话短文大全

在人们的日常生活及交往当中，笑话无处不在。笑话是人类特有的能力和交际工具。小编整理了初中英语笑话短文，欢迎阅读!

初中英语笑话短文：Marriage

A woman is in bed with her lover, who also happens to be her husband’s best friend. They make love for hours, and afterwards, while they’re just lying there, the phone rings. Since it’s the woman’s house, she picks up the receiver.

Her lover looks over at her and listens, only hearing her side of the conversation. “Hello? Oh, hi. I’m so glad that you called. Really? That’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. That soundsterrific. Great! Thanks. Okay. Bye, bye.” She hangs up the phone and her lover asks, “Who was that?” “Oh” she replies, “That was my husband telling me all about the wonderful time he’s having on his fishing trip with YOU!”

初中英语笑话短文：Playing Octopus

This guy walks into a bar near a concert hall with an octopus under his arm and says, "I'll bet any of you that my octopus can play any instrument that you give him."

Two guys bet fifty dollars each that the octopus can't play their instruments.

The first guy hands over his French horn and the octopus starts to play it.

The second guy hands over his tuba and sure enough the octopus starts to play it.

The bartender then walks into the back room and comes back five minutes later with a set ofbagpipes and bets all the money in the drawer that the octopus wouldn't be able to play it. He hands over the bagpipes to the octopus and waits.

After about a minute of watching the octopus run its tentacles over the bagpipe the owner of the octopus says, "Come on now! Play it!"

The octopus replies, "What do you mean play it?! If I can figure out how to get the plaidpajamas off of it, I'm gonna screw it!"

初中英语笑话短文：Talking on the Telephone

Each Sunday the minister called the children to the front of the church while he told them a story. Once he brought a telephone to better illustrate the idea of prayer.

"You talk to people on the telephone and don't see them on the other end of the line, right?" he began.

The children nodded yes. "Well, talking to God is like talking on the telephone. He's on the other end, but you can't see him.

He is listening though."Just then a little boy piped up and asked, "What's his number?"

初中英语笑话短文：Skunk

"We have a skunk in the basement," shrieked the caller to the police dispatcher. "How can we get it out?"

"Take some bread crumbs," said the dispatcher, "and put down a trail from the basement out to the back yard. Then leave the cellar door open."

Sometime later the resident called back. "Did you get rid of it?" asked the dispatcher.

"No," replied the caller. "Now I have two skunks in there!"

臭 鼬

“我们的地下室里有一只臭鼬，”打电话的人对警察调度员尖叫道。“我们怎样才能把它弄出来?”

“弄一些面包屑，”调度员说，“从地下室往外铺一条小道直到后院。然后将地下室的门打开。”

一段时间后，那位居民又将电话打了回来。“你们将它弄出来了吗?”调度员问。

“没有，”打电话的人答道，“现在那儿有两只臭鼬了。”