经典文章:眼神透露出的10个信息
摘录:人们说当一个人高兴的时候,他的眼睛会发光,而当他难过沮丧的时候,眼睛中的那一缕“光”就渐渐消失了。好了,这不仅仅是我们的感觉。有大量的研究表明,当我们的情绪有所改变的时候,眼睛里的光也会发生改变。如何让你的眼中焕发幸福喜悦的光芒呢?遗憾的是,没有其他的方法可以让我们变得更快乐,让 我们学会感激生活每天给予我们的点滴欢乐吧!
经典文章:眼神透露出的10个信息
There is a reason why eyes are often called “windows of the soul”. While we can choose our words and control certain facial expressions, our eyes never lie. They portray our thoughts, reflect the lightest shades of emotions, express interest, boredom, surprise, approval, or disbelief. Without words ever being spoken, our eyes have the power to attract, to judge, to frighten and to caress. You have probably witnessed yourself how often a parent can hush playful children just by giving them ‘the look’. Or how a young couple can flirt with each other across the table without ever saying a single word.
The language of our eyes is one of the most powerful and effective tools of non-verbal communication. And many times our success at a job interview, during business negotiations or on a first date depends on our ability to convey the right messages with our eyes. This is why it is so important to learn how to read the body language of the eyes and interpret it correctly. Here are the 10 Most Important Eye Expressions that we witness every day:
人们通常将眼睛称为“心灵的窗户”,这不是没有道理的。尽管我们可以选择话语、控制某些面部表情,但是我们的眼睛绝不会说谎。它们透露了我们的想 法,反映了我们情绪中最细微的差别,表达了我们的兴趣、厌倦、惊奇、同意或是不信任。即便不说一句话,我们的眼睛也具有吸引、判断、恐吓和爱抚的能力。你 大概亲眼目睹过家长经常只是通过一个“眼神”就让顽皮的孩子安静下来,或者一对年轻的恋人隔桌相望,不说只字片语却互送秋波。
眼睛所透露的语言是最强有力、有效的非语言交流工具之一。许多时候,我们在求职面试、商业洽谈或者初次约会中的成功,取决于我们用眼睛传达正确信息的能力。这就是为什么学会如何解读眼神、正确理解它是如此重要了。以下是我们每天都亲眼所见的10种最重要的眼神:
1. Smiling eyes.
微笑的眼神。
Psychologists have long noticed that a sincere smile starts with our eyes. When we are genuinely happy the skin around the corners of our eyes crinkles, while a ‘socially polite’ inauthentic smile touches only our lips. Have you ever been in a situation when a shop assistant smiled at you, offering help and you immediately got the feeling that they were just trying to sell you something? Well, now you know why. The smile you had been given was not in the eyes.
心理学家经过长期的观察发现,一个真诚的微笑是从眼睛开始的。当我们由衷地高兴时,我们眼角的皮肤会皱起来,但是“在社交场合上礼貌的”微笑则是假笑,只涉及唇部的活动。你是否曾遇到过这样的情景:当一位店员微笑着向你提供服务时,你立刻感觉到他/她只不过是试图向你卖东西?好了,现在你知道原因了。你所感受的微笑并不是从眼睛里发出的。
2. Shy eyes.
羞涩的眼神。
People who avoid eye contact during a conversation are often perceived as insincere, deceptive and untrustworthy. Practice shows that this is not always the case.
在交谈中躲避目光接触的人常被视为不真诚、虚伪、不值得信赖。实践表明情况并非总是如此。
As strange as it may seem, a clear sign that someone is being being dishonest is greater eye contact, not a lack thereof (as a liar knows we are looking for signs of deception and purposely prolongs eye contact). What does little or no eye contact mean then? Anything from shyness, to nervousness, to boredom.
有一点似乎挺奇怪,有明显的迹象表明不诚实的人目光接触更多,而不是缺乏目光接触(就像一个说谎的人知道我们正找寻他欺骗的迹象,从而故意延长目光接触的时间)。那么没多少目光接触或者根本就没有意味着什么呢?害羞、紧张、无聊,这些都有可能。
3. Friendly eyes.
友好的眼神。
Looking a person straight in the eyes while carrying on a conversation sends a few clear messages to your interlocutor: you are comfortable in their company; you are relaxed and confident; you are paying attention to the conversation. This is why so many public speaking experts and motivational coaches advice maintaining eye contact with your interlocutors to make a positive first impression.
在交谈时直视对方会对你的谈话者传递几个明显的信息:你和他/她在一起很舒服;你很放松且有自信;你在交谈时集中精力。这就是为什么那么多的演说家和激励学生的教练会建议你对交谈者保持目光接触从而留下积极的第一印象。
4. ‘Shut’ eyes.
“闭”眼。
Covering the eyes, shielding the eyes, lowering the eyelids for a long period of time is a hard-wired unconscious attempt to block out something that we do not want to hear. For example, a man who is asked to work on the weekend may cover his eyes with his fingers rubbing them as he answers, “No problem”. What his gestures are portraying, though, is how he really feels about the prospective of spending his weekend at the office – he is not happy about it at all.
长时间闭眼、遮眼和耷拉眼皮是在潜意识地试图阻挡我们不想听到的事情。例如,一个被要求在周末上班的人可能会闭上眼睛,边揉眼睛边回答“没问题”。但是他的姿态所表现的就是,他一想到要在办公室度过周末的真实感受——他对此一点儿也不开心。
5. Blinking eyes.
眨眼。
Psychologists and body language experts have noticed that when we are nervous or troubled about something our blink rate goes up. Often such behavior is seen with liars. Although, it takes more than increased blinking rate to accuse someone of lying as the same reaction is often seen with people under stress.
心理学家和肢体语言专家已经注意到,当我们紧张或是被某事所困扰的时候,我们眨眼的频率会上升。通常这种行为常见于说谎的人。然而,不要只因为眨眼频率增加而指责某人说谎,因为有压力的人也常常会有同样的反应。
6. Drooping eyes.
垂眼。
Have you ever talked to someone and got the impression that the person was not listening to you? That is because you saw a lack of eye blinking or what we call a ‘blank stare’ on the person’s face. Another not so obvious signal of boredom is a covert glance up and to the right. If you notice this body language of the eyes in someone you are talking to, accompanied by repetitive finger or foot tapping, yawning, and glancing at their watch take it as a sign to change the topic of conversation to something more stimulating.
你是否曾在跟某人说话的时候感觉他并没有在听你说话?那是因为你看到对方不怎么眨眼或者我们所说的他在“茫然地盯着看”。另一个表现出无聊的一个 不怎么明显的信号就是偷偷摸摸地瞥一眼然后看着右边。如果你在听你说话的人身上发现了这种眼神,而且还伴随着重复地敲手指或顿足、打哈欠、看表等动作,那 么你就应该知道要改变一下话题,让它更令人兴奋一些。
7. Calculating eyes.
算计的眼神。
Eyes that move from side to side or look down are often an indicator that a person is processing information. As it turns out, it is much harder for us to maintain eye contact, while making calculations, because in this case our cognitive energy is divided between perceiving our surroundings and making the calculations. This habit of looking down or to the side when considering the right way to answer can backfire at a job interview as it is often erroneously interpreted as insincerity and a desire to hide something, so be careful not to glance away too much when talking!
眼睛左右移动或者向下看通常表明一个人正在处理信息。人们发现,当我们进行计算时更难保持目光接触,因为在这种情况下我们的认知精力被察觉周围环境和进行计算分散开了。在思考正确的回答方式时向下或向旁边看的习惯可能会在求职面试中产生事与愿违的结果,因为这常被错误地理解为没诚意和渴望掩盖某 事,因此在交谈时要注意不要总是往别处看。
8. Squinting eyes
眯眼。
Squinting or narrowing the eye orbits indicates with great accuracy discomfort, stress, evaluation and even anger. If you get squinted eye expression right after you say something, it could probably mean that the person doubts your words, disagrees with you or does not fully get their meaning. Therefore, it helps to clarify what is bothering your interlocutor before a small misconception turns into a heated argument.
眯眼或者收缩眼眶准确显示出了不安、压力、评判、甚至是愤怒。如果在你说了某事后得到眯眼的表情,那大概就意味着那个人怀疑你说的话,不同意你的观点或者没有充分理解其中的意思。因此,这有助于你在一个小小的误解演变成激烈的争吵之前就认清对话者的困惑。
9. Interested eyes.
兴致勃勃的眼神。
In 1975 a distinguished psychologists Eckhard Hess found that the pupil dilates (increase in size) when we are interested in the person we are talking to or the object we are looking at. However, when interpreting this indicator, you must also take in to consideration the illumination of the room, as in darker surroundings our pupils will naturally dilate to let in more light.
1975年,一位著名的心理学家埃克哈特-赫斯发现,当我们面对与我们交谈的人或者我们正在看的物品感兴趣时,瞳孔就会扩散。然而,在说明这种迹象时,你必须也把房间的照明情况考虑进去,因为在昏暗的环境中我们的瞳孔会自然而然地扩散,让更多的光进来。
10. Glowing eyes.
闪耀的眼神。
They say that when someone is happy, their eyes glow, while when the person is sad or depressed the glow of “light” in the eyes tends to fad from sight. Well, this is not just our perception. There is substantial research indicating that when our mood changes, the glow in the eyes changes as well. How to make your eyes glow with happiness and joy? Unfortunately, there is no other way then to become happier and learning to appreciate the small pleasures that life gives us daily!
人们说当一个人高兴的时候,他的眼睛会发光,而当他难过沮丧的时候,眼睛中的那一缕“光”就渐渐消失了。好了,这不仅仅是我们的感觉。有大量的研究表明,当我们的情绪有所改变的时候,眼睛里的光也会发生改变。如何让你的眼中焕发幸福喜悦的光芒呢?遗憾的是,没有其他的方法可以让我们变得更快乐,让 我们学会感激生活每天给予我们的点滴欢乐吧!