简单的英语笑话_用英语来说笑话

笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了简单的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

简单的英语笑话：Four Catholic Ladies

Four Catholic ladies were having coffee.

The first Catholic woman tells her friends "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him, "Your Grace."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, "Your Eminence."

Since the fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence, the first three women give her this subtle, "Well?"

So she replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6' 2", hard-bodied dancer. When he walks into a room, people say, "Oh my God!"

简单的英语笑话：Vow of Silence

At a remote monastery deep in the woods, the monks followed a rigid vow of silence. This vow could only be broken once a year on Christmas, by one monk, and the monk could speak only one sentence.

One Christmas, Brother Thomas had his turn to speak and said, "I love the delightfulmashed potatoes we have every year with the Christmas roast!" Then he sat down. Silence ensued for 365 days.

The next Christmas, Brother Michael got his turn, and said, "I think the mashed potatoes are lumpy and I truly despise them!" Once again, silence ensued for 365 days.

The following Christmas, Brother Paul rose and said, "I am fed up with this constantbickering!"

简单的英语笑话：An Act of Charity

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.

After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1,000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.

A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.

Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

简单的英语笑话：Morning Worship

The teacher of the third-grade Sunday School class was planning to take her charges on a "field trip" to the ongoing church service, so they could get an idea of what morning worship looked like.

Before they left their classroom, she thought it would be a good idea to caution them against being boisterous in those surroundings.

Attempting to engage their attention, she asked, "And why do we need to be quiet in church?"

One bright little scholar replied right away, "Because people are sleeping in there."

简单的英语笑话：Final Vows

The young ladies were taking their final vows to become nuns at the Mass. The presidingbishop noticed two rabbis seated at the back of the sanctuary. They'd insisted on sitting on the right side of the center aisle.

The bishop was curious why they'd come, but didn't have time to ask. He went ahead and started the ceremony. Later, when it was time for announcements, the bishop went back to

where the rabbis sat.

"I'm delighted to see you both here and thank you for coming. But I'm a little curious as to why you're present on this occasion where these young women are becoming 'Brides of Christ'."

The more senior of the rabbis smiled, rose to his feet, and explained, "We're 'Family of theGroom'."