英文短篇冷笑话阅读大全

前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。下面是小编带来的英文短篇冷笑话阅读，欢迎阅读!

英文短篇冷笑话阅读篇一

We share everything 我们分享一切

n elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries.

A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite.

"I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."

Unconvinced, the trucker implores1 the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

一对老夫妇在汉堡王餐厅吃饭，他们小心翼翼地将汉堡和薯条分成两份。

一个卡车司机非常同情他们，就提议想给老太太单独点一份。

“没关系的。”老先生说，“我们分享一切。”

几分钟后，卡车司机注意到老太太还没动口吃一点东西。

他再次对老先生说，“我真的不介意请您妻子吃一顿……”

“她会吃的，”老先生向他保证，“我们分享一切。”

司机不太相信，恳求老太太，“你为什么不吃一点?”

老太太咂咂嘴，“我在等他的假牙。”

英文短篇冷笑话阅读篇二

The winter will be cold or mild 今年冬天冷不冷

Indians ask their new chief whether the winter will be cold or mild. Since the young chief neverlearned1 the ways of his ancestors, he tells them to collect firewood, then he goes off and calls the National Weather Service.

"Will the winter be bad?" he asks.

"Looks like it," is the answer.

So the chief tells his people to gather more firewood. A week later, he calls again.

"Are you positive the winter will be very cold?"

"Absolutely."

The chief tells his people to gather even more firewood, then calls the Weather Service again: "Are you sure?"

"I'm telling you, it's going to be the coldest winter on record."

"How do you know?"

"Because the Indians are gathering2 firewood like crazy!"

印地安人问他们的新酋长，这个冬天是冷还是温暖。这位年轻的酋长从没学过祖先那些本领，他只好吩咐他们去捡木柴，然后自己走到一边去给国家气象局打电话。

“今年冬天会不会很冷?”他问。

“看上去是这样的。”他得到这样的回答。

于是酋长要求大家收集更多的木柴。一个星期后，他又打电话给国家气象局。

“你确信今年冬天会很冷?”

“毫无疑问。”

酋长随即要求族人捡更多的木柴，然后再次给国家气象局打电话：“你肯定吗?”

“我告诉你，那将是有史以来最寒冷的冬天。”

“你怎么知道?”

“因为印第安人正发疯似地捡木柴!”

英文短篇冷笑话阅读篇三

I'm not even thirsty 我一点都不渴

Nearing the end, Stanislaw is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret." His family urges him to go on.

"Before I got married, I had it all," Stanislaw explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested1 in college funds2. And now here we are. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm not even thirsty!"

临死之前，斯坦尼斯被他挚爱的家人包围着。知道自己的最后时刻就要来了，他拿出所有力气，轻声耳语，“我必须告诉你们一个最大的秘密。”他的家人催他赶紧说。

斯坦尼斯说，“在我结婚之前，我什么都有：靓车，美女，还有大把大把的钱。但是一个好朋友警告我说，‘你应该结婚，建立一个家庭，否则当你奄奄一息躺在床上时，都没个人会为你端茶倒水。’于是我听取了他的建议，离开了姑娘们，娶了一个妻子。我不再把钱花在啤酒上，而是留下来给孩子们买吃的。我卖掉了我的法拉利，投资了大学基金。所以现在才有了你们。可你们知道吗?”

“知道什么?”

“我现在一点都不渴啊!”

英文短篇冷笑话阅读篇四

My capital has been frozen 我的资产已被冻结

My cousin always "borrows1" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives himcrazy2.

One day, she found3 the piggy in, of all places, the refrigerator4.

Inside5 was6 this note: "Dear sister, I hope7 you'll understand, but my capital8 has been frozen9."

我表妹总是从她哥哥的小猪扑满里“借钱”，她哥哥对此事感到很愤怒。

一天，表妹四处寻找，最后竟然在冰箱里发现了扑满。

扑满里有张纸条：“亲爱的妹妹，我希望你能够理解，我的资产现在已被冻结。”