爆笑经典英语笑话大全

笑话是幽默的语言表达。它是一种常见的幽默传达方式。笑话是口头或者书面的幽默语言。小编分享爆笑经典英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

爆笑经典英语笑话：Three days to live 只能再活三天

One day, a professor asked his students: "If you have only three days to live in this world, what will you do?" Student A: I want to stay with my girl friend. Student B: I want to go back to see my parents. Student C: I will try my best to eat some delicious food.. Student D: Professor, I want to attend you lecture. Hearing this, the professor was no moved. He thought that anyhow there was still a student who wanted to attend his lecture. Just at this moment, he wanted very much to know why the student liked his lecture. So the professor asked: "Can I know the reason?" "Because when we are in your class, we feel that one day seems a year." Answered student D.

某日，一位教授问学生：“假如你们只剩下三天时间可以活在这个世界上的话，你们将会做些什么?” 学生A：我要和我的女朋友待在一起。 学生B：我要回家看父母。 学生C：我要使劲吃好些东西。 学生D:教授，我想听你讲课。 听到这里教授非常感动。心想，总算有学生愿意听自己的课。此时，英语小故事他很想知道学生喜欢他讲课的原因。于是，教授问道：“我能知道原因吗?” “因为我们听教授的课有种度日如年的感觉。”学生D回答。

爆笑经典英语笑话：We weren't looking for the same thing

A teenager lost a contact lens while playing basketball in his driveway.

After a fruitless search, he told his mother the lens was nowhere to be found. Undaunted(勇敢的), she went outside and in a few minutes, returned with the lens in her hand. "How did you manage to find it, Mom?" the teenager asked. "We weren't looking for the same thing," she replied. "You were looking for a small piece of plastic. I was looking for $150."

孩子在车库打球时掉了一只隐形眼镜。

找了一会儿，他告诉母亲找不到了。母亲出去了，几分钟以后，拿着隐形眼镜回来。“妈妈，你是怎么找到的?”孩子问。“我们找的不是同一件东西，”母亲回答，“你找的是一小片塑料，而我是在找150块钱。”

爆笑经典英语笑话：Civil rights 公民权利

On the first day of an American history class, the professor assigned five chapters on civil rights.

The next day, he asked one of my classmates to name ten of those rights. When the student made no response, the professor said, "All right. Name five."

Still the student said nothing. Finally, the exasperated professor begged, "Just name one right you have as a civilian."

To a room full of laughter, the young man replied, "I have the right to remain silent."

第一天上美国历史课时，教授布置学习第五章有关公民权的材料。

第二天，教授要求一个同学列举其中十种权利。那位同学没有回答，教授说：“好吧，说五种。”

那个同学还是一声不吭，最后教授感到非常生气，就要求他说：“请把你作为公民所拥有的权利列举一种。”

面对哄堂大笑，小伙子答道：“我有权利保持沉默。”

爆笑经典英语笑话：他游不过大西洋

An American visiting Scotland met a shepherd with a beautiful sheep dog. The American offered the owner $50 for the dog ,but the shepherd refused. "I couldn't part with Jack," he said.

Just then, a man with an English accent walked up and made the same offer. The shepherd agreed, pocketed money and handed over the dog.

The American was very angry. "You told me you wouldn't sell that dog," he cried .

"No ,no" said the shepherd. "I said I couldn't part with him. England is nit that far away and Jack will be back in a couple of days . But he couldn't swim the Atlantic".

一个访问苏格兰的美国人碰到一个牧羊人带着个漂亮的牧羊狗。美国人愿出价50美元买这只狗，可是牧羊人拒绝了。“我不能和杰克分离，”他说。

就在这时，一个英格兰口音的人走过，出相同的价钱。牧羊人的同意了，他把钱装起来，把狗递过去。

美国人很生气，“你告诉我你不愿卖这只狗的，”他大声说。

“不，不”牧羊人说，“我说过我不能与他分离。英格兰并不太远，杰克几天后就会回来。可是，它游不过大西洋呀”。