双语阅读：怎样成为世界上最有吸引力的人
摘要:在这个喧闹的世界，在职业中塑造个人品牌是必需的。我们经常和相同水平的对手竞争客户、工作、升职、任务或者是赞助。更不用说在魅力和吸引力方面，有趣难忘能成为对我们有利的关键因素。希望通过新技能和行为方式提升自己的人可以学习下面这7个法则，它们会给你带来成效。
How do you become the most interesting person in the world?
To be sure, I'm not referring to the silver fox from the Dos Equis beer commercials, who once ran a marathon just because it was on his way, whose organ donor card lists his beard and who speaks fluent French — in Russian.
怎样才能成为世界上最有吸引力的人?
要说明的是，我不是指双X啤酒广告里那个头发花白的老男人。在广告里，因为正好碰见，他就跑了一场马拉松。他的器官捐赠卡上把胡子也列在了其中。他还能讲流利的法语——用俄语口音。
The bar doesn't have to be that high.
其实标准用不着定的这么高。
怎样成为世界上最有吸引力的人
In a noisy world where personal branding is a professional imperative and where we constantly compete with equally qualified rivals for clients, jobs, promotions, assignments, or funding, not to mention admiration and affection, being just a little more interesting and memorable can be the deciding factor in our favor.
在这个喧闹的世界，在职业中塑造个人品牌是必需的。我们经常和相同水平的对手竞争客户、工作、升职、任务或者是赞助。更不用说在魅力和吸引力方面，有趣难忘能成为对我们有利的关键因素。
The following list of seven rules should yield some promising results for those who want to up their game with some new skills and behaviors:
希望通过新技能和行为方式提升自己的人可以学习下面这7个法则，它们会给你带来成效。
1. Master conversational skills.
1.掌握对话技巧
The ability to converse is a key competency for successful client pitches, board room presentations, management meetings and the myriad hallway conversations that influence major business decisions. Skillful small talk and more substantive conversations can make anyone more interesting, provided one has something interesting to say.
客户销售、会议室展示、管理会议和走廊谈话能够影响重大商业决定，而对话能力是其成功的关键。有技巧的短对话和内容丰富的说话内容能让人更有吸引力，前提是你得有些有趣的东西可说。
To get better at it, widen your interests and learn about anything from current events to local issues. Keeping conversations balanced by showing sincere interest in others is critical. A report in Psychological Science cites a study that shows that people who engage in deeper, more substantive conversation are happier than those who keep interactions superficial. Happy people are definitely more interesting than miserable ones.
要想在这方面做的更好，就要拓宽你的兴趣，了解从当地话题到最新事件的一切。重要的是对他人表现出兴趣来保持对话平衡。一份心理学报告中引用了一项研究，表明谈话内容更深层、更具实质性的对话双方比只是泛泛交谈的人更快乐。快乐的人一定比忧郁的人更有吸引力。
2. Learn to make a solid business case.
2.学会稳固生意
Occasionally we get lucky. We ask for something — resources, money, time, support — and we get it. But for the most part, the higher the stakes, the more scrutiny our requests are under. Entrepreneurs, managers, and executives who cannot make a solid business case, linking needs to strategic goals, detailing risks, opportunities, and projected ROI, based on research and analysis, are discounted by the decision-makers who can green-light a project.
有时我们很幸运。当我们要求某样东西——资源、资金、时间、支持——我们轻易就得到了。但是大多时候，我们的要求会受到更仔细的核查。如果企业家、经理、主管通过研究和分析需求、战略目标、具体风险、机会、投资回报率之后也不能保证经营稳固的话，他们在能够决定项目是否通过的决策者心中的形象就会大打折扣。
By clearly showing value, telling a compelling business story and answering tough questions from stakeholders, we become valued players in a serious game.
通过清晰地展现出价值所在，讲述一个扣人心弦的商业故事，解答股东们难缠的问题，我们就可以在这场严峻的比赛中成为有价值的选手。
3. Cultivate a reputation of expertise.
3.培养专家的名声
Experts are in demand. Turn on any television channel and you can watch a parade of authorities in various domains give their perspective on healthcare, airline security, the economy, and climate change, to name a few.
专家很受欢迎。打开任何一个电视频道，你可以看到一群不同领域的专家分别在健康管理、飞机安全、经济、气候变化等方面给出意见。
Particularly in times of uncertainty, we corner the experts to get answers and find out what can be done to either avoid loss of some sort or make gains. If you're more of a generalist, find ways to go deep into a subject matter that can benefit others, and share that information where needed.
尤其是在不稳定的时期，我们围绕在专家周围，希望从他们那里得到答案，找到可以避免某些损失或者是收益的对策。如果你是个通才的话，试着在某个有利于他人的领域深入研究，必要的时候要共享信息。
A key is to make specialized information accessible and easy to understand. Otherwise, you'll notice eyes glazing over and confusion replacing curiosity.
关键是让专业性的知识听起来容易理解。不然，你可能会发现人们用困惑而不是好奇的眼神在上下打量你。
4. Resolve conflict and dispute between others.
4.解决他人之间的冲突和争端
In a recent executive coaching survey, CEOs mentioned "conflict-management skills" as their top priority. Being able to help others resolve disputes and conflicting agendas is not just an asset in the C-suite, where leaders have to manage the expectations of a multitude of stakeholders. Even among friends, those who can keep a cool head and balance reason and emotion when arguments threaten to spiral into conflict and hostility, have the respect and admiration of their peers.
在最新的主管指导调查中，总裁把“矛盾解决能力”放在了首位。有能力帮助其他人解决争端和冲突的日程表不仅仅是在最高管理层中有用，领导者要协调股东们的需求。甚至在朋友之间，那些在争议将要发展成矛盾和敌意的时候仍可以保持冷静，平衡理智和情感的人，能得到同伴的尊敬和敬仰。
5. Build relationships and connect with people.
5.和他人建立人际关系
Whether we are individual contributors, startup entrepreneurs or corporate leaders, we need the help of others to accomplish our goals. Being an interesting person helps in building and managing relationships, but the reverse is also true.
不管是个体工作者，创业企业家还是公司领导，我们都需要别人的帮助来完成目标。成为一个有吸引力的人能帮助我们建立、管理人际关系，反过来也一样。
If we actively engage others, by, for example, inviting someone to lunch, involving a co-worker in a project, asking for a favor, offering support, or sincerely inquiring how someone is doing, we not only become visible, we become relevant. That's the foundation of mutually gratifying relationships. Make it a goal to communicate authentically with others and become more interesting to them in the process.
如果我们积极和他人交往，比如邀请别人一起共进午餐，和同事在同个项目中一起工作，请求帮助，提供支持，或是真诚地问问别人在干什么，我们不仅仅会更有存在感，同样会和他们有所关联。这是建立令人满意的人际关系的基础。努力真诚与人交往，在过程中变得更有吸引力。
6. Engage in active listening.
6.积极倾听
Aside from the fact that engaged listening makes us better informed about people and issues, giving someone our full and undivided attention can have a profound effect on their perception of us. Listening attentively is "giving" rather than "taking." Contrast this with the person who primarily keeps the focus on themselves and the difference becomes crystal clear.
积极倾听除了能让我们更好地了解人和事物，全神贯注倾听某人能改观我们在他们心中的印象。积极倾听更多的是“给予”而不是“得到”。和这相对立的是那些把关注点首先放在自己身上的人。这其中差别十分明显。
When we're listened to, we matter. Those who do most of the talking believe they matter. We become more interesting when we listen to others.
当别人倾听我们的时候，我们是最重要的。大部分讲话的人认为他们是最重要的。如果我们能做到倾听他人，我们会变得具有吸引力。
7. Live life and share experiences.
7.享受生命，分享经历
Our experiences and what we choose to share are what make others take an interest in us. People often live vicariously through the adventures of their more socially active peers. It doesn't have to be running with the bulls in Barcelona — we easily become a little more interesting when we discuss experiences of enjoying a meal at an exotic new restaurant, learning a challenging skill like waterskiing or attending opening night at the museum.
我们选择分享的经历和其他内容是能让人感兴趣的东西。人们通常对社交中更为活跃的同伴的冒险经历感同身受。用不着在巴塞罗那参加过奔牛节——我们只要谈一谈关于在一家异国风味的新餐厅的享受过的美食，学习像滑水撬这样的技巧，或者是参加博物馆的开放夜的经历，就能很容易让自己变得更吸引力。
Standing out in a positive way has wide-ranging benefits. These rules are merely a starting point as we manage ourselves to become the most interesting person in the world.
积极生活能带来很多好处。要想变成世界上最具吸引力的人，这些建议只是一个开始。
十分在意他们自己身体的吸引力
We’ve talked about human attraction between men and women in the past here and here. Previous researchers argued that what women value depended on the type of relationship they were looking for. Women looking for long-term partners want someone who will be a good provider for them and their children, but women seeking short-term flings care more about masculinity and physical attractiveness, features that may be passed down to children.
不管是过去还是现在，我们都谈论着关于男人和女人相互之间吸引的事。早先的研究者认为女性的价值观和她们所要寻找类型的关系有关。如果女性寻找的是长期的另一半，就会要求对方对她们和她们的孩子是一个很好的供给者;但假使女性寻求的只是短期的另一半，可能更关心男性的阳刚之气和外貌以及能够传递给下一代的特征。
New research, however, has identified four categories of characteristics women seek in a partner:
* Good genes, reflected in desirable physical traits
Women look for attractiveness because it means the person has “good genes” (whether or not they actually do).
* Resources
Who doesn’t like a person with good resources — a home, money, a stable good-paying job — that can help provide for them and future children?
* The desire to have children and good parenting skills
This, of course, only applies to women who are actually looking to have children (or more children).
* Loyalty and devotion
Not much point in getting involved in a relationship if the person you’re interested in being involved with isn’t able to be loyal and committed to you.
然而新研究已经确定了女性寻找另一半的四个特征分类：
1.良好的基因，这反映在理想的身体特征
因为这意味着该人已具备“良好的基因”，从而吸引着女性(不管他们是否真的具有)。
2.资源
谁会不喜欢和一个有丰富资源(良好的家庭，有钱，一个稳定高薪的工作)，能够供给她们和未来的孩子所需的人呢?
3.希望有子女和良好的为人父母的技巧
当然，这仅适用于想要孩子的女性(或要更多的孩子)。
4. 忠诚和奉献精神
如果一个人不能够忠诚和承诺与你，很少会有人和他在一起。
Most women attempt to secure the best combination of the qualities they desire from the same man. A small portion of women who do not find a partner with all the qualities may trade some characteristics for others.
We don’t think any of this is rocket science or particularly new. Although women’s selectivity across categories reflected how attractive they appeared to other people, the researchers found the characteristics men desired in a partner did not vary based on their own physical attractiveness.
我们不认为这是一个突破性的特别新研究。尽管女性的选择是依据这四个分类来希望其他人来吸引她，但是研究者发现具有这些理想特征的男性并不十分在意他们自己身体的吸引力。