经典外国幽默故事四则
笑话是一种增强快乐的文化,常常以篇幅短小,故事情节简单,文笔巧妙的形式出现,给人以出乎意料,并且取得笑意的艺术效果的文化。在忙碌的生活,我们也需要偶尔的放松一下自己。下面小编为大家带来外国经典幽默笑话四则,希望大家喜欢!
外国经典幽默笑话:寄给上帝的信
一个小男孩非常想要一百美元买一辆自行车,但是祈祷了两个星期也没有结果。于是,他决定给上帝写一封信要这一百美元。当邮局收到这封收信人为“美国,上帝”的信后,他们决定把它寄给美国总统。总统很重视,也很感动。他命令他的秘书寄给个小男孩五美元纸钞。总统认为这对于一个小男孩来说应该是一笔大钱了。这个小男孩收到这五美元后非常高兴,又坐下来给上帝写了一封感谢信,信中写道:
A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA,they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed,touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:
亲爱的上帝:
Dear Lord,
非常感谢你寄给我的钱。可是我发现,由于某种原因您通过华盛顿寄给我的钱,像往常一样,那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.
罗杰
Love,Roger
外国经典幽默笑话:法官的手表
A judge was instructing the jury that a witness was not necessarily to be regarded as untruthful because he changed his statement after he gave it to the police."For example," he said, "when I entered my chambers today,I was positive that I had my gold watch in my pocket. But then I remembered that I left it on my desk in my bedroom."
一个法官正告知陪审团,不必因为一个证人改变了他已经交给警察的证词就认为他不可信。“比方说,”他说,“当今天我走进我的办公室的时候,我以为我的金表
在我的口袋里。但随后我想起来我把它放在我卧室的书桌上了。”
When the judge returned home that evening, his wife asked him,"Why so much urgency for your watch? Isn’t sending three men to pick it up for you a bit extreme?"
当法官那天晚上回到家时,他妻子问他:“为什么那么着急要你的表?还派三个人取你的表,是不是有一点过分了?”
"What?” said the judge, "I didn't send anyone for my watch, let alone three people. What did you do?"
“什么?”法官说,“我没派人来取表,更不用说三个人。你都干了什么?”
"I gave it to the first man,” said the wife, "he knew exactly where it was."
“我把手表给了第一个人,”妻子说,“因为他很清楚那表放在什么地方。”
外国经典幽默笑话:等警察来
Sam and a priest are driving one day and by a freak accident,have a head-on collision with tremendous force. Both cars are totally demolished,but amazingly,neither Sam nor the cleric has a scratch on.
一天,山姆和一个神父都在开车,发生了一起反常的事故,他们俩的车头对头猛撞到一起。两辆车全毁了,但是意外的是俩个人都毫发未伤。
After the crawl out of their cars,Sam sees the priest’s collar and says,"So you’re a priest. I am Sam. Just look at our cars. There is nothing left, yet we are here unhurt. This must be a sign from God!”
他们从各自的车里爬出来后,山姆看到神父的领子说:“原来你是神父,我叫山姆。看看我们的车,全完了。然而我们还在这里,没有受伤。这一定是上帝的旨意!”
Sam is looking at his car and exclaims, "And look at this! Here’s another miracle! My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine did not break. Surely,God wants us to drink this wine and to celebrate our good fortune.”
山姆看着他的车说:“快来看看这儿,还有一个奇迹!我的车全毁了,但这瓶酒还没有碎。上帝肯定是想让我们喝掉它来庆祝我们的好运。
The priest nods in agreement. Sam hands the bottle to the priest,who drinks half of the bottle and hands the bottle back to Sam. Sam takes the bottle and immediate1y puts the cap on,then hands it back to the priest. The priest,baffled, asks,"Aren’t you having any,Sam?” Sam replies, "Nah...I think I'll wait for the police.”
神父点头同意了。山姆把酒交给神父,神父喝了一半然后又把酒还给山姆。他接过酒瓶迅速把瓶盖盖上,又把它给了神父。神父不解地问:“难道你不喝吗?山姆?”山姆回答:“嗯,我想我还是等着警察来吧。”
外国经典幽默笑话:新手上班
A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an experienced partner. A call came in telling them to disperse some people who were loitering. The officers drove to the street and observed a small-crowed standing on a corner. The rookie rolled down his window and said,"Let' s get off the corner people.” A few glances, but no one moved, so he barked again, "Let's get off that corner…NOW!” Intimidated, the group of people began to leave,casting puzzled stares in his direction. Proud of his first officer act, the young policeman turned to his partner and asked, "Well, how did I do?" "Pretty good,” chuckled the vet, "especially since this is a bus stop.
一位新警官和一位有经验的搭档坐在警车里第一次去巡逻。一个电话打来说让他们去驱散一些闲逛的人。两个警官把警车开到那条街上,他们看见有一群人正站在街的拐角上。新警官摇下车窗喊道:“拐角上的人群快点散开。”人们看了几眼,但是没有人动。所以他又一次大喊:“那个拐角上的人们快点散开……马上!”人们由于害怕开始离开那里,并向他投来了不解的目光。年轻的警察很为自己的第一次执法行动而骄傲,转头向他的搭档说:“看,我干得怎么样?”“非常好,”老警察笑着说,“只不过这里是一个公共汽车站。”