经典英文幽默笑话大全

笑话是现代社会发展最快的一种口头文学体裁,它体现了某一民族行为中最深刻的和潜意识中的观点。小编整理了经典英文幽默笑话，欢迎阅读!

经典英文幽默笑话篇一

health, excellent

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read

"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed1 to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

经典英文幽默笑话篇二

I can't let him get away

A male crab met a female crab and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really special. I can't let him get away .So they got married immediately.

The next day she noticed her new husband waking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset. "What happened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."

"Oh, honey, " he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."

不能让他跑了

一只雄蟹遇到一只雌蟹，便要娶她为妻。她注意到他走路是直着走，而不是横着走。哇!她想，这只雄蟹可真特别，我可不能让他跑了。因此他们立刻结婚了。

第二天，她又发现她的新郎像其他蟹一样横着走路了。她深感不安。“你怎么了?”她问，“我们结婚前你可是直着走路的。”

“哦，宝贝，”他回答说，“我不可能每天都喝那么多。”

经典英文幽默笑话篇三

the ugliest baby

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen."

一位女士抱着她的宝宝上公交车，司机看到后说：“额，那是我这辈子见过的最丑的小孩。”

The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me." The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."

女士走到车厢后面坐下，感到很愤怒。她对旁边的男士说：“司机刚刚羞辱了我。”男士回应说：“你快上去斥责他。去吧，我替你抱着你的猴子。”