经典英语笑话故事

2017-02-10

你想读一些经典的幽默英语笑话故事吗?下面小编为大家带来经典英语笑话故事,欢迎大家阅读!

经典英语笑话故事1:

After two sleepless nights in a noisy campground,my wife and I were dreading another evening of radios and singslongs. Then a middle-aged couple pulled into the space beside us. While the wife prepared dinner,her husband mounted two huge loud speakers on the roof of their camper. We crouched by our fire,waiting for the first blast of whatever these people considered music. To our surprise,the speakers remained silent,and just as the partiers were getting into full swing,our neighbors retired for the evening. We decided to do the same,although there seemed little chance of sleeping.

吵闹的宿营地使我和我老婆两个晚上都无法入睡。我们真担心第三个晚上的收音机声和唱歌声。接着,一对中年夫妇又在我们的附近找到了块儿地方呆了下来。女的做饭时,男的在他的帐顶上架起两个扩音器。我们围火而坐,等待着音乐一响出现的第一次喧闹。出乎我们的意料,扩音器没有任何声响。正当参加舞会的人进入高潮时,我们的这两位邻居已开始休息了。虽然我们睡意还未到,我们还是决定睡觉。

As our tent was throbbing to a rock number,a low moan became audible,developing into an unmistakable wolf howl. It was soon joined by others in rising and falling harmonies. After reaching peak volume,the wild chorus faded quickly to utter silence. The campground was deathly quiet for what seemed like ages,and then a deep but pleasant voice said,"Relax,folks,it's just a recording. Good night."

我们的帐篷随着摇滚乐在颤动,这时好像还伴随着呜咽声,靳渐地这种叫声已无疑地变成了儿狼嚎。这种狼嚎声很快又掺进了其他的此起彼伏的和弦,一直到了极点。之后这种疯狂的叫喊声刹然而止,整个营地好像度过了几个时代的死一般的寂静后,一个深沉而又悦耳的声音传了出来:“各位,别紧张,这只是录音,晚安。”

经典英语笑话故事2:

It was the first day of school and a new student,the son of a Japanese businessman,entered the fourth grade.The teacher greeted the class and said,“Let’begin by reviewing some American history. Who said 'Give me liberty,or give me death'?"

开学的头一天,四年级来了一个新生。这是一个日本商人的儿子。老师跟全班打了招呼,并说:“我们先来复习一些美国的历文。谁曾经说过‘要么就让我死,要么就给我自由’?”

She saw only a sea of blank faces except for that of Toshiba,who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry,1775,"said the boy.“Now,”said the teacher,“Who said 'Government of the people,by the people,for the people shall not perish from the earth'?”

老师看到的好像是一片空白的脸,只有那位“东芝”举了手回答说:“亨利·柏垂克,1775年。”

Again, no response except from Toshiba:”Abraharn Lincoln,1863. "

老师又说:“好,谁说过‘民有、民治、民享的政府不会从地球土消失’?”

The teacher snapped at the class,"You should be ashamed. Toshiba,who is new to our country,knows more about it than you do."

然而除了东芝以外全班仍没有任何反应。

As she turned to write something on the blackboard,she heard a loud whisper:"Damned Japanese.”

“林肯, 1863年。”

"Who said that?"she demanded.

老师冲着全班打了一个响指说:“你们应感到害躁,这个新来我们国家的东芝比你们知道的都多。”

Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Jacocca,1982. "he said.

当老师在黑板上写字时,听到一声咒骂:“该死的日本人!”

老师问:“谁说的?”

经典英语笑话故事3:

Not long after my sister's wedding,one of my father's colleagues and his wife dropped in to see Mom and Dad.The guests had not been invited to the wedding, so when

the woman said,”I'm sorry I didn't get over to the church the other day,”Mom assumed she meant the church's Good Cheer Club Tea and Bazaar.

我妹妹婚后不久,我父亲的同事夫妇俩顺便来看我父母。这两个客人没被邀请出席婚礼。所以那位女士说:“真遗憾,那天我没有去教堂。”我妈妈以为她的意思是没有来参加喝彩俱乐部所招待的茶和甩卖活动。

"I'rn glad you didn't.”Mom replied.”You never saw such a mob scene!"

我妈妈回答说:“你没有来太好了,免得你看那片乱哄哄的景色.”

"I thought I'd like to see how everyone was dressed,"the guest said."What did you wear?"

客人说:“我原打算看看大家穿得如何,你那天穿的是什么?’,

"Just my old navy print and my oxfords,“said Mom,"and a good thing,too,as we cleared almost a thousand dollars. "

妈妈说:“就是那套老式的海军呢和我的牛津服呗。值得一提的是,我们挣了一千多块钱。”

"Did you take a collection?"the woman gasped.

“你们收了赠款了吗?”那位女士惊奇池问。

"Oh, no,“said Mom,"you know how it is,a lot of people come just to look and you don't make a thing out of them,so we decided to charge admission at the door.”

“噢,没有,”妈妈说:“你知道怎么着,许多人只是来看热闹,你从他们身上是分文也得不到的,所以我们决定收门票。”

At this point Dad realized signals were crossed,and he suggested to Mom that she explain that my sister's wedding had been neither a mob scene nor a profit-making venture.

说到这儿,爸爸觉得意思搞误会了。他建议妈妈解释一下,我妹妹的婚礼既不是哄乱,也没收取任何钱财。

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