关于长一点的英语笑话精选

2017-03-28

现代医学也认为:笑,对人们的健康长寿有着十份密切的关系。大家除了多运动维持身体健康外,也可以尝试一下看看英语笑话。小编精心收集了关于长一点的英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

关于长一点的英语笑话:NASA Mars Mission

NASA was interviewing professionals they were planning on sending to Mars. Thetouchy part was that only one guy could go and it would be a one way trip, the guy would never return to Earth.

The interviewer asked the first applicant, an engineer, how much he wanted to be paid for going.

"One million dollars," the engineer answered. "And I want to donate it all to my alma mater -- Rice University."

The next applicant was a doctor, and the interviewer asked him the same question.

"Two millions dollars," the doctor said. "I want to give a million to my family and leave the other million for the advancement of medical research."

The last applicant was a lawyer. When asked how much money he wanted, he whispered in the interviewer's ear, "Three million dollars."

"Why so much more than the others?" the interviewer asked.

The lawyer replied, "You give me three million, I'll give you one million, I'll keep a million, and we'll send the engineer."

关于长一点的英语笑话:Dunlop Rubbers

A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.

When the case came before the court, the young man was as asked why he acted in such a manner.

His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove Swelling". I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William Stick Did The Trick". Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident."

He won the case.

关于长一点的英语笑话:New Secretary

The real estate boss got a hot new secretary.

Afraid of sexual harrassment issues he held himself off for a week, but

finally overcome with lust, he decided to put some moves on her.

But within a few weeks, he is feeling displeased at the way she is working, not caring, coming to work late, and so on.

So, he pulls her aside, and has a little talk with her.

"Listen, baby, we may have gone to bed together a few times, but who said you could start coming in late and slacking off?"

Looking him in the eyes, she replied, "My lawyer!"

关于长一点的英语笑话:Cross Examined

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining a pathologist.

Here's what happened:

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

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