英语小笑话短篇故事阅读

2017-06-06

笑话(анекдот)是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编分享短篇英语小笑话故事,希望可以帮助大家!

短篇英语小笑话故事:疼痛之极

A construction worker was rushed to the hospital after cutting himself badly. The doctor told the nurse to prepare a painkiller. "Don’t bother Doctor," said the man. "I' ve been through a lot worse."

一个伤痕累累的建筑工人冲进了一家医院,医生马上让护士去拿止痛药,“不必麻烦您了,医生。”那人说道,“比这更痛的伤我都经历过了。”

"More painful than this?" the doctor asked.

“比现在的伤还要痛吗?”医生问。

"I’11 tell you about the second most painful accident I ever had. I was hunting one day and had to take a shit so I dropped my pants and squatted. I tripped a bear trap and BOOM,the thing snapped shut on my balls."

“我先说说让我感到还不是最痛苦的那件事吧,一天我在打猎的时候突然想要大便,于是就脱掉裤子蹲在地上,不料被捕熊的夹子绊倒了,那东西夹住了我的皋丸。”

The doctor winced, "That’s awful. But tell me, what could be worse?"

医生听后颤抖了一下,说道“太可怕了,那告诉我什么又是最痛苦的事呢?”

"When I reached the end of the chain."

“当我摸到锁链尽端的时候。”

短篇英语小笑话故事:教育阶段

The dean of Engineering had once walked into a class, and said "Good Morning.”

一天工程系的主任走进一个班,说道:“早上好。”

The whole class chorused" Good Morning”

全班齐声回复:“早上好。”

"Hi,you are freshmen aren’t you?" he asked.

“你们是大一的吧?”主任问道。

One student bolder than the others asked him how he knew.

一个胆子比较大的同学问主任是怎么知道的。

"Well,”he said. "When I say‘Good Morning' to a class,if they are freshmen they say Good Morning' too. If they are sophomores,they quietly fold their papers away,and look at me. A class of juniors will look at me over the top of their papers, and then get back to them. A class of seniors will ignore my greeting, and keep reading the papers. When I say `Good Morning' to a class of graduate students, they write it down.”

“嗯,”主任说,“如果是大一的新生,当我向他们问早上好的时候,他们也一定会说‘早上好’的。如果他们是大二的学生,他们会轻轻地合上课本,然后集体望着我。大三的学生则会从书本上抬起头看我一眼,然后马上又继续读书了。大四的学生则会对我视而不见,继续看书。至于研究生班的学生,我向他们问早上好,他们就会把这句话写在笔记上。”

短篇英语小笑话故事:死在波兰人手里

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway,I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, a big guy came in and said to me,"Hey pal, I’m Polish and I don’t like you telling all those Polish jokes!”

几天前,我和几个朋友在酒吧里讲所知道的关于波兰人的笑话。大家都笑得东倒西歪。过了一会儿,我进了洗手间去方便,这时一个壮汉走到我身边说:“嘿,伙计,我就是波兰人,我讨厌刚才你说的那些有关波兰人的笑话。”

So I said,“"ell,they' re not against you,pal , just against anyone in Poland.”“My mother is in Poland!”He screams,and pulls out a razor. Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in!

我回答说:“行了,我又不是针对你说的,只不过是说那些在波兰的人。”“我妈妈就在波兰!”他吼道,然后抽出一把剃刀,我被吓坏了!我敢肯定,如果他认为我身上有什么地方可以插进他手中那把剃刀的话,他一定会杀了我的!

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