搞笑英语笑话_经典英语笑话大全
一篇好的笑话,总是以短小的篇幅、精炼的语言、讽刺的手法,表达一个引人发笑的故事,在笑中寓有深义,发人深思,促人战斗,使人猛醒。小编精心收集了经典搞笑英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!
经典搞笑英语笑话篇1
Chewing Gums
An American tourist in Bangkok went to a Thai Restaurant and ordered a steamed prawn as the main course. After finished, he called the Thai waiter.
He asked the waiter "what do you do with the prawn shells?" The waiter answered, "we throw away!". The American proudly says, " in America, we send to factory. We make prawn crackers".
Then he ordered some oranges.. After he finished eating the oranges, he asked the Thai waiter, "what do you do with the orange peels?". The waiter answered, "we throw away!". The American then said, " in America, we send to factory. We make marmalades".
The Thai waiter just quiet. The American, took out the chewing gum, the wrapper says, " Made in Thailand". While chewing the gum, he called the waiter and asked him, " what do you do with the used chewing gum?" The waiter said, " we throw away!". The American said , " in America, we send to factory. We make condoms!!"
The Thai waiter, fed up of the American, then asked him, " what do you do! with used condoms?" The American replied, "we throw away!!" The waiter then said, "in Thailand, we send to factory. We make chewing gum!!!!"
经典搞笑英语笑话篇2
Bambi
George and Harriet were married twenty-five years. They decided to celebrate with a trip to Las Vegas. When they entered the hotel/casino and registered, a sweet young woman dressed in a very short skirt, became very friendly.
George brushed her off rather rudely.
Harriet objected, "George,she was nice, that young woman, and you were so rude."
"Harriet, she's a prostitute."
"I don't believe you. That sweet young thing?"
"Let's go up to our room and I'll prove it."
In their room, George called down to the desk and asked for Bambi to come to room 1217.
"Now," he said, "you hide in the bathroom with the door open just enough to hear us, okay?"
She did. Soon, there was a knock on the door.George opened it and Bambi walked in, swirling her hips provocatively.
"So, I see you're interested after all," she said.
George asked, "How much do you charge?" "$125 basic rate, $100 tips for special services."
George was taken aback. "$125! I was thinking more in the range of $25."
Bambi laughed derisively. "You must really be a hick if you think you can buy sex for that price."
"Well," said George, "I guess we can't do business. Goodbye."
After she left, Harriet came out of the bathroom. "I just can't believe it."
George said, "Let's forget it. We'll go have a drink, then eat dinner."
At the bar, as they sipped their cocktails, Bambi came up behind George pointed slyly at Harriet, and said, "See what you get for $25?"
经典搞笑英语笑话篇3
The Fuel
One day, Mr Caterpillar decided to hitch a ride to town. As he was standing by the roadside, a family of bees came by in a little car and offered him a ride. Gratefully, he accepted.
After putting along merrily for a few kilometres, the engine sputtered, and the car rolled to a halt. Without saying a word, Papa Bee alighted and urinated into the fuel intake. When he turned the starter, the enginestarted up, much to Mr Caterpillar's amazement! However, he did not say a word.
The car went on for quite some distance before the engine died again. This time, it was Mother Bee who urinated into the fuel intake, and again, the car started up after that.
The process was then repeated again for Baby Bee. By the time the engine died for the fourth time, the little car was only a few kilometres from town.
Not wanting to appear unsophisticated, Mr Caterpillar got out of the car without a word, and started opening the fuel cap. In a flash, Papa Bee got out of the car. "What are you doing?", asked Papa Bee.
"I'm going to piss in the fuel intake, just like you did",said Mr Caterpillar.
"Oh, no", said Papa Bee patiently, "that won't do. This car only runs on Bee Pee!"