轻松英语趣味小故事

2017-03-20

“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松,在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面小编为大家带来轻松英语趣味小故事,欢迎大家阅读!

轻松英语趣味小故事:如此迅速

The widow takes a look at her dear departed one right before the funeral and, to her horror, finds that he's in his brown suit. She'd specifically said to the undertaker that she wanted him buried in his blue suit; she'd brought it especially for that occasion, and she was angy that the mortician left him in the same brown suit he'd been wearing when the lightning bolt hit him.

She demanded that the corpse be changed into the blue suit she'd brought especially for that purpose. The undertaker said, "But madam! It's only a minute or two until the funeral is scheduled to begin! We can't possibly take him out and get him changed in that amount of time."

The lady said, "Who's paying for this?"

Seeing the logic to this argument, a very reluctant mortician wheeled the coffin out, but then wheeled it right back in a moment later. Miraculously, the corpse was in a blue suit.

After the ceremony, a well-satisfied widow complimented the undertaker on the smooth and speedy service. She especially wanted to know how he'd been able to get her husband into a blue suit so fast.

The funeral director said, "Oh, it was easy. It happens that there was another body in the back and he was already dressed in a blue suit. All we had to do was switch heads!"

葬礼前,寡妇看了一眼她亲爱的丈夫。她惊恐地发现,丈夫穿着他棕色的西装。她事先特地要求穿寿衣的人给他穿上蓝色的西装。那是她特意为他做的。但令她惊奇的是,穿寿衣的人仍然给他穿着他被雷电击中时穿的棕色西装。

她要求将遗体换成她特地准备的蓝色西装。穿寿衣的人说:"可是女士,只有一二分钟的时间,葬礼就要开始了。我偿不可能在这一二分钟的时间内将他弄出来换衣服。"

这位女士说,"你们还想不想要钱?"

明白了这女士的意思,穿寿衣的人很勉强地转动轮子将棺材升了起来。很快,棺材就滑了回来。真神奇,遗体已经换成了兰色的西装。

遗体告别仪式后,那位称心如意的寡妇称赞穿寿衣的人快速而圆满地完成了任务。她特别想知道,他怎么这么快就将她丈夫换成了兰色西装。

负责葬礼的人说,“噢,那很容易。碰巧在后面有个遗体穿着兰色西装。我们只是换了一下头而已。”

轻松英语趣味小故事:走私犯

The suspicious-looking man drove up to the border, where he was greeted by a sentry. When the guard looked in the trunk, he was surprised to find six sacks bulging at the seams.

"What's in here?" he asked.

"Dirt," the driver replied.

"Take them out," the guard instructed. "I want to check them."

Obliging, the man removed the bags, and sure enough, each one of them contained nothing but dirt. Reluctantly, the guard let him go.

A week later the man came back, and once again, the sentry looked in the truck.

"What's in the bags this time?" he asked.

"Dirt, more dirt." said the man.

Not believing him, the guard checked the sacks and, once again, he found nothing but soil.

The same thing happened every week for six months, and it finally became so frustrating to the guard that he quit and became a bartender. Then one night, the suspicious-looking fellow happened to stop by for a drink. Hurrying over to him, the former guard said, "Listen, pal, drinks are on the house tonight if you'll do me a favor: Just tell me what the hell you were smuggling all that time."

Grinning broadly, the man leaned close to the bartender's ear and whispered, "Cars."

一个形迹可疑的人开车来到边境,哨兵迎了上去。哨兵在检查汽车行李箱时,惊奇地发现了六个接缝处鼓得紧绷绷的大口袋。

“里面装的是什么?”他问道。

“土。”司机回答。

“把袋子拿出来”,哨兵命令道:“我要检查。”

那人顺从地把口袋搬了出来。确实,口袋里除了土以外,别无他特。哨兵很不情愿地让他通过了。

一周后,那人又来了,哨兵再次检查汽车上的行李箱。

“这次袋子里装的是什么?”他问道。

“土,又运了一些土。”那人回答。

哨兵不相信,对那些袋子又进行了检查,结果发现,除了土以外,仍旧一无所获。

同样的事情每周重演一次,一共持续了六个月。最后,哨兵被弄得灰心丧气,干脆辞职去当了酒吧 侍者。有天夜里,那个形迹可疑的人碰巧途经酒吧,下车喝酒。那位从前的哨兵急忙迎上前去对他说,“我说,老兄,你要是能帮我一个忙,今晚的酒就归我请客。 你能不能告诉我,那段时间你到底在走私什么东西?”

那人俯身过来,凑近侍者的耳朵,裂开嘴笑嘻嘻地说:“汽车。”

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