关于爆笑的英语笑话精选

2017-05-23

民间笑话是一种颇受人们喜爱的民间叙事类型,材料丰富,有广泛的现实基础。小编分享关于爆笑的英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!

关于爆笑的英语笑话:A Jewish Parrot

Three Jewish sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother.

The first said, "I built a big house for our mother."

The second said, "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."

The third said, "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys reading the Torah and you know she can't see very well? I sent her a large brown parrot that can recite the entire Torah. It took twenty rabbis 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $1,000,000 a year for twenty years but it was worth it. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

Soon thereafter, Mom sent out her letters of thanks. She wrote to the first son, "Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house."

She wrote to the second son, "Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home all the time, so I never use the Mercedes and the driver is SO rude."

She wrote to the third son, "Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to know what your mother likes. The chicken was delicious."

关于爆笑的英语笑话:How Many Does It Take?

A sampling of the best lightbulb jokes:

Q. How many Mormons does it take to change a lightbulb?

A. Seven. One to change the lightbulb, one to say the opening prayer, one to say the closing prayer, and four to bring green jello salads and red punch.

Q. How many agnostics does it take to change a light bulb?

A. We can't know.

Q. How many motivational speakers does it take to change a light bulb?

A. One to do it and every other one on earth to stand around saying that they did it first in the 80's.

Q. How many deists does it take to change a light bulb?

A. None. If the light bulb no longer interferes with the world, why bother interfering with the light bulb?

关于爆笑的英语笑话:Just a Dumb Bird?

A burglar was cruising through a posh suburb looking for an opportunity. At one house he saw a truck unloading a big screen television, stereo, and video outfit. That night, without a moon in the sky and a heavy fog, he drove up to the house. He rang the doorbell and when no one answered, broke the lock on the kitchen door and went in.

It was pitch black inside as he made his way through the kitchen, then the dining room and into theden where he expected to find the things he wanted to steal.

"I see you and Jesus sees you," a voice said. The burglar froze in his tracks.

"I see you and Jesus sees you," the voice said again.

When nothing more happened, the burglar took out his flashlight and shined it in the direction of the voice. All he saw was a parrot on its perch.

"I see you and Jesus sees you."

The burglar laughed. "Just a dumb bird," he said. The burglar closed the drapes before turning on a lamp and that's when he saw a big and mean looking Doberman Pincher sitting beneath the parrot's perch.

"Sic him, Jesus!" the parrot said

关于爆笑的英语笑话:Jewish Mother

A Jewish mother walks her son to the school bus corner on his first day of kindergarten. "Behave, my Buibaleh" she says. "Take good care of yourself and think about your mother, Tataleh! And come right back home on the bus, Schein Kindaleh. Your Mommy loves you a lot, my Ketsaleh!" At the end of the school day the bus comes back and she runs to her son and hugs him. "So what did my Pupaleh learn on his first day of school?" The boy answers, "I learned my name is Jerry."

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