爆笑短篇英文笑话大全

笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。本文是爆笑短篇英文笑话，希望对大家有帮助!

爆笑短篇英文笑话：It's Too Late 太晚了

A medical student was called on to state how much of a certain drug he would give to a patient. He promptly replied: "Five grains."

A minute later the student asked the professor, "May I correct my answer?" The professor looked at his watch and said: "It's too late. Your patient died thirty seconds ago."

一个医科学生被要求说明他给病人服的那种药的用量。他立即回答道：“五粒。”

一分钟后，这个学生问教授：“我可以改正我的回答吗?”教授看看手表，说：“太晚啦，你的病人已在30秒钟以前死了。”

爆笑短篇英文笑话：Monkey and Policeman 猴子与警察

A policeman took a monkey to his boss. The boss asked, "What kind of monkey business are you getting up to?" He said, "This monkey was wandering on the streets, not following any of the rules. I'm turning him in". The boss said, "Oh, my God! You're so dumb! If you catch a monkey, you have to take it to the zoo. Why bring it to me. Take it to the zoo!" So the policeman took the monkey out.

Three or four days later, he was seen again, holding the monkey's hand. He took the monkey to the police car, opened the door,put it in, and was about to drive away. The boss saw this, ran out, and asked, "Oh, my God! How come the monkey is still here? I told you to take it to the zoo". The policeman replied, "Yes, sir. I've already taken him to the zoo. Today, I'm taking him to see a movie".

有一位警察大哥带了只猴子给他上司看，他上司就说他：“你搞什么猴子把戏?”警察大哥说：“这猴子在大街上到处乱跑，什么法律都不懂，我把它捉了回来，治它的罪。”上司说：“天啊天，你怎么那么笨?捉到猴子就把它带到动物园去嘛，带给我干嘛?带它到动物园去。”后来那警察大哥就带了猴子出去了。

三、四天后还看见他跟猴子手拉手打开警车门让猴子坐进去，正准备开车，他上司跑了出来说他：“天啊，为什么到现在还把猴子留在这儿，我不是叫你把它带到动物园去的吗?为什么还在这儿?”警察大哥：“我有呀!我已经带它去了动物园，今天带它去看电影!”

爆笑短篇英文笑话：I'm a chicken 我是一只鸡

Psychiatrist: What's your problem?

Patient: I think I'm a chicken.

Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?

Patient: Ever since I was an egg!

精神病医师：你哪里不舒服?

病人：我认为我是一只鸡。

精神病医师：这种情况从什么时候开始的?

病人：从我还是一只蛋的时候开始。

爆笑短篇英文笑话：You may put my beard on again

A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. The barber brought one of his brooms. After he had shaved him, he asked for the price of the brooms.

"Two pence," said the man.

"No, no," said the barber. "I will give you a penny, and if you don't think that is enough, you may take your broom back!"

The man took it and asked what he had to pay his shave.

"A penny," said the barber.

"I will give you a half penny, and if that is not enough, you may put my beard on again."