双语阅读：用选狗方式择偶 两者有很多相似之处
摘要：你是不是一直选错男人却拥有着一只最完美的宠物?那么这个恋爱建议可能就是为你准备的。
Do you always go for the wrong men, but have the most perfect pet? Then this relationshipadvice may be for you。
A leading love expert has suggested there are parallels between picking the perfect partner andthe way you choose your dog。
你是不是一直选错男人却拥有着一只最完美的宠物?那么这个恋爱建议可能就是为你准备的。
一个前沿爱情专家表示，选择一个完美伴侣的方式和你选狗方式有很多相似之处。
Author and relationship coach Dr Annie Kaszina Ph.D - who is the first to admit she has herown chequered relationship history - discovered that by applying these principles she couldfinally make the right choices。
作家兼恋爱教练安妮·卡斯楠博士是第一个承认自己有过糟糕爱情史的相关专家。她发现通过运用这些原则，她终于可以做出正确的选择了。
When Annie met Orlandino it was love at first sight: the big brown eyes, the irresistible looks,the knack he had of making her laugh。
安妮与奥兰蒂诺相遇的时候可谓是一见钟情：大大的棕色眼睛，魅力十足的长相，有让她呵呵大笑的本领。
用选狗方式择偶 两者有很多相似之处
But sadly, he wasn't a keeper. Beneath that charming exterior lay some unsavoury habits anda difficult and a very demanding personality. Orlandino was the dog from hell。
但遗憾的是，他不值得她与之厮守。在他那迷人的外表下隐藏着一些令人讨厌的习惯和令人难以相处，很强势的性格。奥兰蒂诺就像一只地狱犬。
What Annie learned from that encounter set her on the path to becoming a women'srelationship coach。
安妮在那次恋爱经历中吸取的教训让她走上了成为一名女性恋爱专家的道路。
She learned her lesson, chose her second dog - and her current lovely partner - with a lotmore care, and has since taught hundreds of women simple ways to spot the right man forthem, using her pet as the template。
她吸取了教训，更加谨慎小心地给自己挑了第二只狗，也就是她现在的情人。从此以后她把自己的宠物作为范例，教给了几百位女性简单找到她们另一半的方法。
Now Annie shares ten of her tips with Femail readers, inspired by her new book, entitled DoYou Choose Your Dog More Carefully Than Your Husband?, which comes out on Valentine'sDay。
现在安妮把她在新书《你在选狗时比你在选丈夫时更仔细吗?》中所体会的10个小窍门分享给Femail栏目读者。这本书将在情人节发行。
1. Temperament is king
性格是最重要的
Mean, moody, and magnificent may sound exciting… So, too, may the idea of taking on achallenge, or 'taming' someone 'wild'。
吝啬，情绪化，气宇轩昂等性格特征可能听起来让人很兴奋。让人想要接受挑战，驯服“野兽”。
Unfortunately, they lead to hard work relationships; and hard work relationships lead toemotional exhaustion and breakdown。
不幸的是，这会导致艰难的恋爱关系;艰难的恋爱关系会导致情感衰竭以及精神崩溃。
Better to look for someone sunny and sweet-natured。
最好是找个阳光的，脾气好的。
Think about the way a date projects himself on first meeting and beyond. Why wouldpessimism or negativity be an aphrodisiac?
想想看约会对象在第一次见面和之后的日子里举手投足的方式。一个悲观消极，充满负能量的人怎么会催发你的情欲呢?
2. Check the pedigree
查一查家庭背景
Obviously, this is simpler with dogs than it is with people, and can't be settled on a first date.But then Rome wasn't built in a day, and nor should relationships be。
通常而言，挑人不像挑狗那么简单，可以第一次见面就下决定。但是罗马不是一天建成的，恋爱关系也不是。
You can listen to the way they talk about parents, family members, and friends。
你可以听听他们讨论父母，家庭成员，和朋友的方式。
If they come across as Billy-no-mates, there is cause for concern。
如果他们恰巧没什么朋友，那你就要引起注意了。
3. Beware yappiness
让自己开心
Unless you're okay with saddling yourself with Mr I'm Great, Mr Alpha Male, Mr In Love With TheSound of His Own Voice, or Mr Life and Soul of the Party, be careful of over-talkers。
除非你愿意和自大，大男子主义，自吹自恋，派对霸王这样的男人在一起，不然就要当心那些自吹自擂的人了。
Incessant talking on a first date may be a sign of nerves, but also a lack of interest in the otherperson and a lack of social skills。
第一次约会就很话唠可能是紧张的表现，但也是对对方缺乏兴趣和交际能力差的表现。
They need to take an interest in you too (This holds just as true for Strong, Silent Types)。
他们也要对你感兴趣(这同样对闷骚型的男人也适用。)
Asking non-intrusive questions is not rocket science。
问一些不具有侵犯性的问题不是个复杂的事情。
4. Good manners
有礼貌
This goes without saying. But it's not limited to table manners。
这是不言而喻的。但也不止于餐桌礼仪。
Snarliness towards waiters, children, and anyone outside the charmed circle of you and yourdate is a bad sign of things to come。
对服务员，孩子和任何其他在你俩二人世界之外的人纠缠不清是个不好的现象。
Selective good manners actually suggest that those manners are not deeply ingrained and maysoon melt away。
过于讲究好礼貌事实上表明了这些礼貌并不是根深蒂固的，可能很快就没有了。
5. Over-exuberance
精力过度旺盛
Pushy does not mean keen. It means pushy。
强势并不意味着他特别喜欢你，强势就是强势。
First date pushiness is the sign of someone who doesn't respect boundaries and will end uppushing you into emotional corners。
第一次约会就表现的咄咄逼人意味着他并不尊重彼此的界限，结果会把你推向情感的死角。
6. Good behavior
举止得体
Many a woman who has overlooked a little first date leering - at other women - has lived to ruethe day。
很多女人忽视了第一次约会对其他女性抛媚眼的重要性，之后都悔不当初。
You have standards for how you would dress and behave on a first date. Your date should,too。
你有第一次约会自己穿衣和举止得体的标准。你的约会对象也应该有这样的标准。
If your date's behaviour violates your standards in any way that's a clear sign that you could bein for a rough ride。
如果你的约会对象的举止违反了你的标准，不论怎样那就很明显意味着你之后的约会会举步维艰。
7. Docility
温顺
You want your date to be sensitive and responsive to your wishes。
你想让你的约会变得和你所想的一样心思细密，符合你的心愿。
Choosing your meal for you, unasked, or making decisions for you without consulting you is aclear sign of wanting to be top dog。
没有问你，就为你选好了食物;没有问你，就为你做好了决定，这些都很明显表现出他想主导这个约会。
Do you want to be reduced to playing Bottom Dog?
你想被逼到只能当败犬吗?
8. Playfulness
活泼快乐
You want someone not just to have fun with, but someone who's fun to be around。
你想要的不仅仅是一个能够一起愉快的玩耍的人，更应该是一个能让你在他身边感到快乐的人。
That doesn't necessarily mean someone who acts like a kid - what long-term kids are actuallylooking for is second mummies. You want someone who you feel comfortable enough around tobe silly with。
这并不一定意味着某人表现的很像个孩子，那些长不大的“孩子”想要的是第二个妈妈。你想要一个让你感觉很舒服的人，和他在一起又感觉傻乎乎的。
9. Beware rogue breeders
小心流氓的饲养员
If you've been single for a while, friends may take it upon themselves to set you up with 'lovelydates'。
如果你长时间单身，你的朋友们就会担负起帮你制造约会的的责任。
Just because they find that date 'lovely' in the context in which they know them doesn't meanyou will。
他们从他们自身来观察，觉得这场约会将会十分美好，但这并不意味着你也会感同身受。
You wouldn't buy a house just on the say-so of Mrs Bloggs three doors down。
你不会因为某人的三言两语就去买个房子。
You always have to do your own due diligence。
你必须要做好你自己应做的准备。
10. Leave the paperwork at home
把纸上谈兵抛之脑后
Women are terrible at playing 'Fantasy Future' - they go on a first date and, provided the manisn't an obvious freak or psychopathic monster, they get busy imagining their future life withthat person。
女人幻想未来的能力很差。她们在第一次约会就幻想着她们和那个人的未来生活，假设这个男人不是个怪胎或心理变态。
A first date is not designed to be a marriage contract. It's simply the start of getting to knowanother person。
第一次约会并以一定会通向一场婚礼。而只是了解一个人的开始。
If you find yourself fantasising about that happy future, take a cold shower, or speak to agrounded friend。
如果你发现自己在幻想美好的未来，那就去洗个冷水澡，或者找个讲道理的好朋友谈谈。