有关于爆笑的英语笑话大全

2017-04-09

笑话一般指短小、滑稽的故事,是民族文化及社会生活中不可缺少的一环。小编精心收集了有关于爆笑的英语笑话,供大家欣赏学习!

有关于爆笑的英语笑话:Cat jokes

Q: What is the most breathless thing on television?

A: The Pink Panter Show!

Q: What do you get if you cross a leopard with a watchdog?

A: A terrified postman!

Q: When is a lion not a lion?

A: When he turns into his cage!

Q: What do cat actors say on stage?

A: Tabby or not tabby!

Q: What did the cat say when he lost all his money?

A: I'm paw!

Q: What do you call a lioin who has eaten your mother's sister?

A: An aunt-eater!

Q: What do tigers wear in bed?

A: Stripey pyjamas!

Q: Why did the cat put the letter "M" into the fridge?

A: Because it turns "ice" into "mice"!

有关于爆笑的英语笑话:Farm jokes

Where does a woodsman keep his pigs?

In a hog cabin!

What is the slowest racehorse in the world?

A clotheshorse!

Why do pigs never recover from illness?

Because you have to kill them before you cure them!

What do you call a pig who's been arrested for dangerous driving?

A road hog!

What do you call sheep that live together?

Pen friends!

What do you call a chicken in a shellsuit?

An egg!

What kind of things does a farmer talk about when he is milking cows?

Udder nonsense!

What is the easiest way to count a herd of cattle?

Use a cowculator!

What did the baby chick say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?

'Dad, dad, look what marma-laid'!

What's a cows favorite vegetable?

A cowat!

有关于爆笑的英语笑话:Fish jokes

Where do shellfish go to borrow money?

To the prawn broker!

What do you call a big fish who makes you an offer you can't refuse?

The Codfather!

What happened to the shark who swallowed a bunch of keys?

He got lockjaw!

Where do fish wash?

In a river basin!

What fish only swims at night?

A starfish!

How do fish go into business?

The start on a small scale!

Which fish go to heaven when they die?

Angelfish!

What is the best way to communicate with a fish?

Drop it a line!

Where do you weigh whales?

At a whale weigh station!

What kind of horse can swim underwater without coming up for air?

A seahorse!

有关于爆笑的英语笑话:Circumcision

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside an operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, “What are you in here for?”

The second kid says, “I’m in here to get my tonsils out, and I’m a little nervous.”

The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up, they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It’s a breeze.”

The second kid then asks, “What are you here for?”

“A circumcision,” the first kid answers.

“Whoa!”, the second kid says. “Good luck, buddy. I had that done when I was born. I couldn’t walk for a year.”

有关于爆笑的英语笑话:Comparison

Geoffrey says to his father (who is looking at his son’s report card). So I don’t get the highest marks in the class, do you get the highest salary in the office?

比较

杰弗里对爸爸说(爸爸正在看儿子地成绩单):我在班里没有拿到最高的成绩,那你在单位里拿到最高的薪水了吗?

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