查斯特菲尔德勋爵给儿子的信（节选）

查斯特菲尔德勋爵给独生子菲利蒲的信成为有史以来最受推崇的家书，被誉为“一部使人脱胎换骨的道德和礼仪全书”。牛津大学出版社更将其列入该社《世界经典》之一。下面是小编跟大家分享的查斯特菲尔德给儿子的信，欢迎大家来阅读学习~

节选第13封信

As two mails are now due from Holland, I have no letters of yours, or Mr. Harte's to acknowledge; so that this letter is the effect of that 'scribendi cacoethes,' which my fears, my hopes, and my doubts, concerning you give me. When I have wrote you a very long letter upon any subject, it is no sooner gone, but I think I have omitted something in it, which might be of use to you; and then I prepare the supplement for the next post: or else some new subject occurs to me, upon which I fancy I can give you some informations, or point out some rules which may be advantageous to you. This sets me to writing again, though God knows whether to any purpose or not; a few years more can only ascertain that. But, whatever my success may be, my anxiety and my care can only be the effects of that tender affection which I have for you; and which you cannot represent to yourself greater than it really is. But do not mistake the nature of that affection, and think it of a kind that you may with impunity abuse. It is not natural affection, there being in reality no such thing; for, if there were, some inward sentiment must necessarily and reciprocally discover the parent to the child, and the child to the parent, without any exterior indications, knowledge, or acquaintance whatsoever; which never happened since the creation of the world, whatever poets, romance, and novel writers, and such sentiment-mongers, may be pleased to say to the contrary. Neither is my affection for you that of a mother, of which the only, or at least the chief objects, are health and life: I wish you them both most heartily; but, at the same time, I confess they are by no means my principal care.

My object is to have you fit to live; which, if you are not, I do not desire that you should live at all. My affection for you then is, and only will be, proportioned to your merit; which is the only affection that one rational being ought to have for another. Hitherto I have discovered nothing wrong in your heart, or your head: on the contrary I think I see sense in the one, and sentiments in the other. This persuasion is the only motive of my present affection; which will either increase or diminish, according to your merit or demerit. If you have the knowledge, the honor, and probity, which you may have, the marks and warmth of my affection shall amply reward them; but if you have them not, my aversion and indignation will rise in the same proportion; and, in that case, remember, that I am under no further obligation, than to give you the necessary means of subsisting. If ever we quarrel, do not expect or depend upon any weakness in my nature, for a reconciliation, as children frequently do, and often meet with, from silly parents; I have no such weakness about me: and, as I will never quarrel with you but upon some essential point; if once we quarrel, I will never forgive. But I hope and believe, that this declaration (for it is no threat) will prove unnecessary. You are no stranger to the principles of virtue; and, surely, whoever knows virtue must love it. As for knowledge, you have already enough of it, to engage you to acquire more. The ignorant only, either despise it, or think that they have enough: those who have the most are always the most desirous to have more, and know that the most they can have is, alas! but too little. Reconsider, from time to time, and retain the friendly advice which I send you. The advantage will be all your own.

寄自荷兰的两封信现在你们应该收到了，但我现在还没收到你或者哈特先生的确认信件。所以这封信是一个“写作狂”的举动，出于一位父亲对你的担心、恐惧和疑虑，我提笔给你写此信。每次，当我就某一主题给你写完一封长信，用不了多久我就会发现我漏掉了一些可能对你有用的东西，然后我就准备在下一封信里进行补充。要么就是，我又想起了某个新的话题，我自信还能给你提供一些信息，或者也许只有上天才知道这些信究竟对你有没有帮助，也许要等很多年以

后我们才能认识到其作用。但是，无论我写的信是否管用，唯一让我变得如此焦虑和关心你的原因，只可能是一位父亲对你的那份慈爱，这一点你可能难以完全体会。千万不要误会这份爱的性质，认为它们可以被随意滥用。这不是一种无私的情感，在现实生活中就没有这样一种无私的情感;如果人们确实发现父母对孩子或者孩子对父母存在着这样一种情感，这种情感也是互动的，无须任何外在的暗示、知识、体验之类的东西。自从有了这个世界以来就从来没有发生过这样无私的爱，无论诗人、传奇作家、小说家以及类似的情感制造者在把这种爱向别人倾拆时体会到了怎样的愉快。我的这份爱不是一个母亲对孩子的爱，一个母亲唯一关注，或者说最关注的是孩子的健康和生命：我希望你和别人都是真心诚意的，但我同时也坦白，这不是我最关注的东西。

我的目标是让你适应生活，如果你不适应的话，我甚至根本不希望你活在这个世界上。这样一来，我对你的爱就是，也只可能是调和你的优点，这是一个理性生物对另一个理性生物唯一拥有的爱。迄今为止，我没有发现你的心灵和头脑中存在什么大的错误，相反，我认为从你的心灵中，我看到了理智，从你的头脑中我看到了情感。这也正是现今我对你的爱的唯一来源所在。这种爱意将会随着你的美德和缺点的变化而增强或减弱。如果你拥有了那些你应该具备的知识、荣誉和正直品格，我的爱将会留下足够的痕迹和温暖作为回报。但如果你没做到，那我的反感和愤恨也会以相同比例增长。如果发生了后一种情况，请记住，除了给你必要的扶持手段外，我没有任何别的义务了。任何时候如果我们发生了争执，不要指望和依赖通过利用我本性中的任何弱点来达成妥协，很多孩子经常这样做，只有那些愚蠢的家长才吃这一套，我没有这样的弱点。除了一些最本质的关键点之外，我永远都不会与你争吵，一旦我们发生争吵，我永不原谅你。但我希望也相信：我的上述宣言(不是威胁)将被证明是多虑了。你对美德的原则应该是不陌生的，而且每一个了解美德的人都必定会热爱美德。

关于知识，尽管你已经拥有了相当的知识，但还是要努力去掌握更多。只有无知的人才会要么鄙视知识，要么认为他们的知识已足够：那些拥有最多知识的人却还一直起学更多，而且他们明白自己所拥有的最大的知识就是知道自己懂得的太少了。

时不时地回想回想，然后记住我给你的这些友好的建议，你将从中获益良多。

内容简介

查斯特菲尔德勋爵给他的独生子菲利蒲的信，成为有史以来最受推崇的家书，被誉为“一部使人脱胎换骨的道德和礼仪全书”。牛津大学出版社更是将其列入该社《世界经典》之一。这本书世世代代流行于英国上流社会，被誉为绅士们的“教科书”。您在通读全书后将会发现，它倾注了世间亲情和人类智慧，是一部教人如何获得他人信任，如何取得成功的经典之作。对于正在融入世界一体化的国人来讲，查斯特菲尔德勋爵传授的这些“入世”知识，列疑会成为你步入“高贵”、取得成功的护照。

作者简介

查斯特菲尔德勋爵(1694-1773)

英国著名政治家、外交家及文学家。他曾就读于剑桥大学，并游学欧洲大陆，1726年继承爵位，1728年出使荷兰，曾任爱尔兰总督及国务大臣等职位。并与他同时代的文学家波普、艾略特、爱迪生、斯威夫特等过往甚密。

查斯特菲尔德勋爵留给世人最宝贵的财富，是他集几十年的心血，写给儿子菲利普・斯坦霍普及教子的信。在他的谆谆教诲下，其子也成为一名杰出的外交家。

这本书世世代代流行于英国上流社会，被誉为绅士们的“教科书”。牛津大学出版社更是将其列入该社《世界经典》之一。本书在日本出版后曾刮起一股旋风。相信中文版的问世，能让读者分享前人经验累积而成的智慧，助你迈向成功的人生。