爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译
笑话作为一种特殊的交际策略,它能够帮助人们缓解尴尬的气氛,从而保持和谐的人际关系。小编分享爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译,希望可以帮助大家!
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译:A Regimen 养生之道
An old man of seventy-six went to a doctor to request a general check up as to the state of his health.
The doctor looked him up thoroughly, and then told him: "Everything is fine." As the old man paid his fee, the doctor asked him: "Have you followed any regimen to help you keepphysically fit?"
"Well," replied the old man, "when I was married fifty years ago, I made an agreement with my wife that when I lost my temper and easily got angry, she would remain silent and when she lost her temper, I would leave the house. So for over fifty years I had enjoyed a fine outdoor life. That no doubt is the season why I can keep physically fit."
一个76岁的老头去找医生给他做一次常规体检,以了解他的健康状况。
医生给他仔细检查后告诉他:“一切都很好。”老人缴费的时候,医生问他:“你有什么养生之道帮助你保持健康呢?”
老头回答道:“哦,50年前结婚时我就和妻子约定:当我生气了,容易发怒的时候,她要保持沉默;而当她生气时,我就出门去。于是我得以享受了50多年美好的户外生活。这一点就是能够使我保持健康的原因。”
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译:死亡讣告
The phone rang in the obituary(讣告) department of the local newspaper. "How much does it cost to have an obituary printed?" asked the woman. "It's five dollars a word, ma'am," the clerk replied politely. "Fine," said the woman after a moment. "Got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes ma'am." "Okay, write this down: 'Cohen dead'." "That's all?" asked the clerk disbelievingly. "That's it." "I'm sorry ma'am, I should have told you - there's a five word minimum." "Yes, you should've," snapped the woman. Now let me think a minute... okay, got a pencil?" "Yes ma'am." "Got some paper?" "Yes, ma'am." "Okay, here goes: 'Cohen dead. Cadillac for Sale.'"
地方报社负责刊登死亡讣告的部门电话响了。“登一篇讣告多少钱?”一位女士问。“五美元一个字,太太。”书记员礼貌地回答。“好的,”女士沉默了一小会儿,“拿着笔呢吗?”“是的,夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的,夫人。”“好的,这样写:‘科恩去世了’”“就这些了?”书记员疑惑地问道。“对,就这些。”“很抱歉,夫人,我刚才没有告诉您,在我们这登讣告最少也得五个字。”“没错,你就应该告诉我,”女士有点生气了,“现在我得考虑一下,嗯…拿着笔呢吗?”“是的,夫人。”“纸呢?”“是的,夫人。”“好的,这样写:‘科恩去世了,出售一辆卡迪拉克轿车。’”
爆笑英语笑话大全带翻译:It might be the light
Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am doing."
Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world. "Hey there," said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.
Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby. "No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor. The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attracting them?
在田纳西州丛林的深处,一个乡下人的妻子半夜时分临产,一名医生被叫来帮手接生。 因为那个地方没有通电,医生把灯笼递给那个快要当爸爸的农夫,说,“把这个高高举着,这样,我好干活”。
很快,一名男婴降临到这人世界上。 “嘿”,医生说,“别着急把灯笼放下来,我觉得还有一个小孩要生出来。”,果然,没几分钟,医生又接生了一个婴儿,这回是个女孩。“灯笼举高点,不要坐下来,还有”,医生说。
又过了几分钟,第三个孩子降生了。 “别,别着急放下灯笼,看来,还有一个要出来!”,医生不由得惊叫起来。 乡下人挠头抓耳,不明白是怎么回事,于是问医生,“你觉得是不是,这些小家伙看到光所以爬出来了?”