关于外国英语笑话欣赏

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关于外国英语笑话：Better not pull her over

A woman is driving her car when she is pulled over by a a cop.

He says to her: "Ma'am, may i see your licence please? you were speeding".

The woman answers: "Oh no, officer, I don't have a licence, they took it after the 4th time i was caught driving drunk.".

The officer replies: "That is serious. Give me the car's registration forms, please".

The woman answers: "Oh, this is not my car. I stole it from my boss after i killed him. His body is in the trunk, by the way".

The cop is amazed and immidietly calls for backup while slowly moving away from the car, his hand on his gun.

When backup comes, the chief of the police approaches the woman with his gun pointed at her and orders her to get out of the vehicle.

The woman walks out, as ordered. Then the cheif says: "Ma'am, the officer said you reported a dead body in your trunk. please open it".

The woman acts amazed and when she opens the trunk, there is nothing there.

The surprised cheif says: "Can i also see your driving-licence?".

The woman opens her wallet and hands her licence to him.

The chief says: "Well, i'm soory ma'am, i don't know what to say. The officer over there told me you had a dead body in your trunk and that you didn't have a licence".

The woman smiles and says: "bet you that bastard also told you i was speeding, didn't he?"...

关于外国英语笑话：With A Little Help From My Spouse

A husband is driving his car, with his wife sitting next to him.

Suddenly, the police siren is heard, and he is requested to stop.

The policman comes to him and says:

"sir, do you know that you have been speeding for the last 5 minutes?".

The husband replies, imploringly:

"Oh no, i really didn'y notice, officer. I am so sorry, i promise not to do that again", but then he is interrupted by his wife, who says:

"That's not true, he knew he was speeding and had no intention to slow-down".

The policman continues: "also, may i ask why you don't have your sit-belt on, sir?".

The man replies nerveslly: "You see, i released it when i heard the siren cause i wanted to approach you and.." but again he is interrupted by his wife, who says: "that's rubbish, he wasn't wearing it since we left home".

Then, the husband loses it and yells to his wife: "would you shut-up, you stupid cow?!".

The policman, shocked, asks:

"Mam, are you going to let him speak to you like that?".

To that the woman replies:

"Oh, don't wory officer. He is always like that when he's drunk"...

关于外国英语笑话：Message for the Boss

A woman is approaching a very small Bistro. She calls the barkeeper and, when he is standingin front of her, she asks him in a very seductive way to come nearer. Then she bends over the desk and starts to caress his beard. "Are you the boss of this Bistro?" she asks and touches tenderly his cheek.

"Ehhh. No. Not at all!" the barkeeper replies.

"Would you please call him here?" the lady asks and gently touches his hair.

"Oh, I'm very sorry. But no. Impossible!" the barkeeper sighs who has - no

doubt - fun with this situation.

"Would you then please do me a great favour?" the lady asks and follows

gently the line of his lips.

"Of course. What ever you wish!" the barkeeper moans.

"I want to leave a message for the boss!" she says and let first one - then two - fingers slip into his mouth which he gently sucks on.

"What message?" the barkeeper asks with the two fingers in his mouth.

"Please tell him that there is no paper, nor soap, nor towel in the lady's room!"

关于外国英语笑话：King Solomon Trial

Two women came before wise King Solomon, dragging between them a young man.

"This young man agreed to marry my daughter," said one.

"No! He agreed to marry MY daughter," said the other.

And so they began arguing until the King called for silence.

"Bring me my biggest sword," said Solomon, "and I shall hew the young man in half. Each of you shall receive a half."

"Sounds good to me," said the first lady.

But the other woman said, "Oh Sire, do not spill innocent blood. Let the other woman's daughter marry him."

The wise king did not hesitate a moment. "The man must marry the first woman's daughter," he proclaimed.

"But she was willing to hew him in two!" exclaimed the king's court.

"Indeed," said wise King Solomon. "That shows she is the TRUE mother-in-law."