关于幽默的英语笑话大全

互联网不仅是我们生活中不可缺少的，而且也是我们工作学习之余缓解压力、舒缓情绪的重要渠道。正是由于我们有这样的需要，网络笑话得以繁荣兴盛。小编分享关于幽默的英语笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

关于幽默的英语笑话：You are not in the book

Three preachers and their wives were killed in a car accident, upon their arrival at the pearly gates, they were met by St. Peter.

The first preacher walked up and said" Hello St. Peter, I'm ready to come in".

St. Peter checked his list and said" I'm sorry your name is not in the book."

"What!" exclaimed the preacher," I have been a preacher for thirty years!" "Yes" replied St. Peter,"However,you are guilty of glutteny, you loved food and sweets so much you even married a woman named Candy."

The pastor,defeated took his wifes hand and walked away.

The next preacher came up to the St. feeling pretty certain he would be allowed in. "I'm ready to come in St. Peter" he said with a smile."I'm sorry, your name is not in the book." "HOw can that be?" asked the preacher, "I have been a pastor for 20 years!" You are guilty of the sin of greed, you loved money so much, you married a woman named Penny." Defeated, the preacher took his wifes hand and walked away. The last preacher, certain of the out-come, turned to his wife and said, "Come on Fanny, I'm not gettin' in."

关于幽默的英语笑话：Crucified

Jesus is crucified, hanging on the cross up on a hill. Below the hill there is a crowd of onlookers, including St. Peter.

"Peter! Peter! I need to tell you something" Jesus cries.

So Peter, devoted to his Lord, breaks from the crowd towards the hill only to be stopped by a group of Roman soldiers, beat up and thrown back down.

"Peter! Please, I need to tell you something!" Jesus cries.

Again, full of faith and love for Christ, he runs up the hill and almost gets past the soldiers. But, he's caught, beat up again and tossed back into the crowd.

Finally, Jesus screams "Peter, I must tell you something. Please, come to me!"

Peter, sorrowed by his Lord's suffering, runs up the hill bloody and bruised and finally makes it past the soldiers. He kneels in front of Jesus: "Here I am my lord, your faithful servant. What is it that you need to tell me?"

Jesus smiles and says "Yo, I can see my house from up here."

关于幽默的英语笑话：Holy Bread

A sales representative from a major chicken producer is sent on a mission to the Vatican.

He meets with the Pope: "Holy Father, my company would like to make a substantial

donation to the Holy Mother Church - but there's only one condition...."

"Yes, my son?"

"We'd like you to authorize changing the Lord's Prayer from "Give us this day our daily

bread to give us this day, our daily chicken."

"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."

"Well your Holiness, we are prepared to give you a Million dollars to do this."

"I don't know my Son. Tradition and all, you know."

So, the chicken man, hurries off for a quick phone call to his boss and he comes back.

"Your Worship, I am authorized to go up to one Billion dollars if you change "Give us this

day our daily bread, to give us this day our daily chicken."

The Pope shrugs with a smile and says, "Well, now, my Son, give me a call tomorrow."

Later that day the Pope has a big meeting with his Cardinals, Bishops, Priests

the whole Vatican family is there.

He says to them, "Boys, I gotta some a good news, and I gotta some a bad news...."

"The good news is that the Holy Mother Church has come into one Billion dollars!!"

(CHEERING! APPLAUSE! BRAVO! BRAVO!!!)

"Boys, the bad news is that we have lost the Wonderbread account!"