最简单的英文小笑话阅读

前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。小编精心收集了最简单的英文小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

最简单的英文小笑话：roast pig

A gentleman was invited for dinner. When he hurried there and sat down, he was happy to see a roast pig in front of his seat:"Not bad, I am next to the pig." But then he noticed the angry fat lady sitting next to him. He faked a smile and added: "Oh I am sorry, I meant the roasted one on the table."

烤乳猪

一位先生去赴宴迟到了，匆忙入座后，发现自己的座位正对着乳猪，于是大为高兴的说：“还不错，我坐在乳猪的旁边。”这时才发现身旁的一位胖女士正怒目相视，他忙陪笑改口到：“对不起，我说的是那只烤好的。”

最简单的英文小笑话：一个吝啬的家伙

Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town.

"Let’s go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven’t been anywhere for a long time."

Matt thought about this for a while. He knew he would have to spend money at the fair. At last he said, "All right, but I’m not going to spend much money. We’ll look at things, but we won’t buy anything. "

They went to the fair and looked at all the things to buy. There were many things Matt’s wife wanted to buy, but he would not let her spend any money.

Then, in a nearby field, they saw a small airplane.

"Fun flights!" the notice said, " $ 10 for 10 minutes.

Matt had never been in an airplane and he wanted to go on a fun flight. However, he didn’t want to have to pay for his wife, as well.

"I’ve only got $ 10, " he told the pilot. "Can my wife come with me for free?" The pilot wasn’t selling many tickets, so he said, "I’ll make a bargain with you. If your wife doesn’t scream or shout, she can have a free flight."

Matt agreed, and got into the small airplane with his wife.

The pilot took off and made his airplane do all kinds of things. At one moment it was flying upside down.

When the plane landed, the pilot said, "0. K. your wife didn’t make a sound. She can have her ride free."

"Thank you," Matt said. "It wasn’t easy for her, you know, especially when she fell out."

最简单的英文小笑话：Back Up Two Miles

退后两英里

A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry, honked his horn .

"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by. "What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

一位农夫和他的儿子乘坐轻便马车来到一段窄路，他们遇到一个开车的人向相反的方向去。两个方向的两英里以内都没有地方可以使他们相擦而过。驾车人甚是着急，按响了喇叭。 “如果你不后退，”农夫说着撸起了袖子，“我可不喜欢我将不得不做的事。”司机吃惊不小，挂上倒挡，向后退了两英里，让轻便马车先过去。

“刚才在那儿你说过的你不喜欢要做的事是什么?”农夫的儿子问道。

“退后两英里，”农夫回答道。