史上最好笑的英语笑话

冷笑话是近几年新兴的一种语言现象,它轻松诙谐、别具一格,给我们紧张的生活增添了几分轻松的情趣,它一出现便受到了大多数人的喜爱。小编精心收集了史上最好笑的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

史上最好笑的英语笑话：Who is in the shop to take care of it 那谁在店里管事啊?

The owner of a grocery was on his deathbed. The entire family had gathered in his bed room weeping and wailing.

At last the old man looked at them with a worried expression, seeming as if the wanted to speak. His wife and children all pressed forward to hear what he would say.

"Is mama here?" he asked in a very feeble voice.

"Yes," answered his wife.

"Is the whole family here?" he said.

"Yes," replied his elder son.

This made him so anxious that he suddenly struggled to shout, "Then who is in the shop to take care of it?"

一家杂货店的老板快要死了，全家人都聚在他的睡房里哀伤的恸哭。

最后，老板神情忧虑地看着他们，好像有话要说。他的妻子和儿女都拥到前边去听他说什么。

他声音非常虚弱地问道：“妈妈在这里吗?”

“在”，他的妻子回答说。

他说：“全家都在这里吗?”

“是的，”他的大儿子回答说。

这时他焦虑不安地忽然挣扎着大叫道：“那谁在店里管事呀?”

史上最好笑的英语笑话：An interview with a stateman 快速采访

A news reporter said to a great stateman, "I have come to interview you, sir."

The great stateman said, "Well, go back to write your interview. Then let me see it."

"Here it is," said the reporter.

一个新闻记者对一个大政治家说：“我是来采访阁下的。”

大政治家说：“嗯，回去写你的采访记吧。写好后给我看看。”

“已经写好了，这就是。”记者说。

史上最好笑的英语笑话：His reason 他的理由

A young writer was hoping that the editor would accept his novel. But the editor said, "You have no reason to ask me to publish your novel. It's not good enough."

The dismayed young writer seemed lost in thought, and then said, "I enclosed a stamp every time for you to return the rejected manuscripts. I think if you accept my novel, you may keep the stamp."

一个青年作者渴望主编会接受他写的小说。可是主编对他说：“你没有理由要求我发表你的小说，它不够好嘛。”

失望的青年作者好像沉思了一会，然后说：“我每次都附了邮票供你退稿时用，我想你若接受了我的小说，就可以留下邮票啦。”

史上最好笑的英语笑话：Who is right 谁是对的

After the couple's quarreling, the husband shouted: "You should remember that no matter what tine it is, what the man is thinking of is right, and his judgment is correct, but you women are always do the opposite."

The wife answered, "Yes, that you chose me to be your wife is right, but my choosing you as my husband is a big mistake!"

夫妻吵架后，丈夫嚷道：“你该记住，无论什么时候，男人的思考都是对的，判断准确无误，而女人却恰恰相反。”

妻子回答道：“是呀，你选我做妻子是绝对正确的，而我选你做丈夫是大错特错!”

史上最好笑的英语笑话：The farmer and barber 农场主和理发师

When life was very hard, a farmer said to a barber: "Now corn's lower in price. I think you should shave for half price."

"I can't, sir," said the barber, "I really should charge more because when corn's cheap, farmers are unhappy and worried. All of them make such long faces that I have twice the ground to go over."

生活很艰难的时候，一个农场主对理发师说：“现在粮食跌价了，你给人刮脸也应该只收半价。”

“不行啊，先生。”理发师说，“其实我应该多收一点钱的，因为粮食跌价了，农场主都很不高兴了，发愁了，一个个都愁得把脸拉得很长。我要刮的地方比原来大了一倍啦。”