关于两分钟的英语笑话大全

英语笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。小编整理了关于两分钟的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

关于两分钟的英语笑话：Blind Man in Texas

There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.

When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"

The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar.

Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"

The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.

The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."

The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door.

Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"

关于两分钟的英语笑话：Akimbo (叉腰)

Just like most of other kids, aged two Emilia didn' t like washing hands──she' s always wiping the dirt off hands on her clothes. One day I accompanied her to have fried cicadae(蝉). Habitually she rubbed her grease fingers on her real silk short gown. I held back (阻挡) her from doing it: " What do you want to do?" She was immediately on to (意识)her blame, replied at ease(从容): " I' m akimbo."

像大多数别的小孩一样，两岁艾咪丽雅不爱洗手，吃东西弄脏手，随便在身上一抹就得了。一天我正陪她吃炸知了，她手上的油多了，便习惯地往真丝小褂子上蹭，我阻止道：“你想干什么?”她马上意识到问题所在，从容答道：“我叉腰。”

关于两分钟的英语笑话：Reason of Punishment

惩罚的原因

One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do.

The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this! By the way, what was it that you didn't do?

The little girl replied, My homework.

一天，小女孩从学校回到家里，对妈妈说：妈妈，今天在学校里我因为一件我没有做的事情而受到惩罚。

妈妈激动地说：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老师好好谈一谈，对了，你没有做过的那件事是什么?

小女孩回答说：我的家庭作业

关于两分钟的英语笑话：Two Birds 两只鸟

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。

关于两分钟的英语笑话：I'm Trying to Stop It

左耳朵进右耳朵出

"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"

"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other, so I am trying to stop it."

“孩子，你为什么用棉花塞住耳朵?它感染了吗?”

“没有，老师。可是你昨天说你告诉我的知识都是一个耳朵里进，一个耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在里面。”