专四优秀作文赏析及亮点解析

2017-03-14

英文写作几乎是所有同学在英语考试中最薄弱的一环。许多同学花了大量的时间和精力,却很难在这一项上有所突破。小编整理了一些专四优秀作文赏析及亮点解析,希望对大家有帮助。

题目1:The Benefits and Dangers of Campus Politics

写作要求

Nowadays many college students are interested in campus politics, including running for heads of various communities. What are the possible benefi ts and dangers of this enthusiasm for campus politics?

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

The Benefi ts and Dangers of Campus Politics

You are to write in three parts.

In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.

In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道分析利弊/差异型的题目,要求分析参与校园政治的利与弊,因此很明显文章中必须包含:

1. 概述该现象,指出这样做有利有弊;

2. 具体说明好处在哪里,弊端在哪里;

3. 重申自己的观点,再次概述利弊点。

范文赏析

The Benefits and Dangers of Campus Politics

Campus politics has improved the quality of students’ life on campus and is playing an important role in college life. While we may advocate it because of the benefits, we cannot ignore its problems.

引言部分:作者先明确表明“校园政治”是大学生活非常重要的一部分,但在强调其带来的好处的同时,作者提醒不能忽视其带来的问题。

On the positive side , college students will grow mature and develop their abilities from participation in campus politics. For one thing, by attending campus political activities, students will learn how to handle relationships with all sides in a more mature way, which will better prepare them for life after graduation. For another, they can develop their sense of responsibility as well as practical capabilities, especially management and coordination capacity, because the campus political activities provide students with a stage to show themselves and bring their abilities into full play.

On the negative side, campus politics might bring some problems. Too much participation in campus politics might influence study. Besides, some students’ being keen on campus politics is for fame and gain, which is harmful to the healthy development of mentality . Therefore, schools and teachers should give necessary instructions to students on their participation in campus politics.

主体部分:作者先从积极面分析了参加校园竞选等活动带来的两大益处:使学生们变得成熟并增强了责任心和实际能力;接着又从消极面分析了参与“校园政治”可能带来的问题:对学习和身心健康发展的影响。针对这些问题,作者简单提出学校和老师应给予必要的指导。就写作手法而言,作者主要是进行逻辑论证,正反对比。全文长短句的运用非常恰当,主要是用短句点题,说明观点,用长句进行解释说明。

All in all, we cannot deny the benefits campus politics brings to college students, but we should also be aware of the potential danger it may hold for them as well. With necessary guidance, campus politics can be a good stage for students to grow.

总结部分:作者用all in all自然而然地引入到了文章的结尾。作者先概述了上面提及的两个方面,然后重申了自己的观点:在恰当的指导下,校园政治是大学生成长的良好舞台。

亮点回放

1. campus politics: “校园政治” ;下文还使用了campus political activities来指 同一意思 。

2. advocate: “提倡,主张” ;此处也可以用support, back等替代。另外注意advocate也可以作名词使用 ,be an advocate for/of sth.是 ……的提倡者/支持者 。

3. on the positive side: “从积极面来说” ;也可以用from the positive perspective来代替 。

4. better prepare: 通常prepare的用法是be prepared for(为……做好 了准备 ),此处使用 了主动形式prepare sb. for sth. (让某人为某事做好 了准备 )。better是well的比较级 ,所以此处表示 “使他们更好地为……做好准备”。

5. capability: “能力,性能” ,与下文 的capacity, ability为近义词 ,这些近义词 的使用使文章富有变化性 ,有亮点不单调 。

6. coordination: “协调” ;此处近义词有organization, regulation等 。

7. bring their abilities into full play : “使他们的能力充分发挥” ;此处的bring ... into full play是固定搭配 ,比简单使用fully display要正式。

8. being keen on: “渴望,爱好” ,比单纯地使用like要好,此处的sb. s being keen on整体用作主语,不过这里还可以使用enthusiasm,passion,zeal等,后面接for 。

9. mentality: “心理状态” ,此处还可以使用morality来代替。

10. instruction : “指导”;与下文的guidance为近义词,通常的用法是instruct sb. to do sth.或者instruct sb. on sth.。

11. deny: “否认,拒绝给予” ;搭配有deny sb. sth.(拒绝给予某人某物 )。

12. be aware of: “意识到” ;近义词为be conscious of,realize等 。

题目2:Income Sources of College Students

写作要求

According to an investigation, half of the income of American students comes from their parents, fifteen percent comes from scholarships and the rest from part-time jobs; while ninety percent of Chinese students’ income comes from their parents. What do you think of the result of this investigation?

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

Income Sources of College Students

You are to write in three parts.

In the first part, state specifi cally what your idea is.

In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道个人观点表达型的题目,表述自己对中美大学生收入来源差异的看法,可以从以下几方面着手 :

思路1:可以写导致这种现象出现的原因;

思路2 :可以写这种差异将来会不会发生变化 ,变化的原因是什么 ;

思路3 :也可以写这种差异反映了什么样的问题 ;

思路4 :还可以写通过什么措施来消除这种差异。

范文赏析

Income Sources of College Students

According to the investigation, Chinese students rely much more on their parents for financial support than their American counterparts . As far as I’m concerned, there are many reasons behind the gap and it will change in the future.

引言部分:作者先概述了题目给出的内容,这点很重要,如果只是简单复述,会留下文字驾驭能力不足的印象。接着明确说明下文要写的内容:原因和未来的趋势 。

In my opinion, the main reason lies in the sense of independence. American students are taught to be independent when they are very young. For example, they will have to earn their own pocket money by helping with the house chores or doing part-time jobs since their childhood. On the contrary, Chinese students are taken such good are of that it is very difficult for them to live on eir own. In other words, American parents treat their children in college as responsible adults while Chinese parents will take it for granted that they should help their children in all ways as long as the children need it. As a result, Chinese American peers do. What’s more, Chinese students have fewer opportunities to find part-time jobs.

主体部分:作者重点给出了一个独立性差异的原因,并进而引申说明父母观点的差异导致了孩子独立性的差异,这里除了运用对比以外还通过举例证明自己的观点。除此以外,作者另外说明中国学生找兼职的机会少,这也是造成这一差异的原因。

However, the gap will narrow gradually in the future. Nowadays more and more Chinese students are seeking part-time jobs as they’re eager to acquire some social skills and earn some money, which will help them to do more in school and to live independently. As to the American students, I think the sources of American students’ income will remain the same.

总结部分:这个结尾是属于预测性的,认为这种差异会慢慢缩小,并给出了原因。

亮点回放

1. rely: “依靠”,常用搭配为rely on sb. for sth. ,近义词为depend on sb. for sth.。

2. financial support: “财务支持” ;这里用的是一个比较正式的说法 ,非正式 的说法其实就是money 。

3. counterpart :“对手 、职位(地 位 )相当的人 ”;这是个正式用词,其实就是指American students。

4. behind the gap: “在这差异背后”;实际上在这里这个词组是“解释这个差异”的意思。

5. lie in: “在于”;也可以用consist in来代替 。

6. pocket money: “零花钱”;此处也可以用allowance来代替 。

7. house chores: “家务活” ;也可以用family chores来代替 。

8. in other words: “换句话说” ,在这里其实起到了一个递进的作用 。

9. take it for granted: “想当然认为……” ;该词组 中的it是形式宾语 ,词组后面要接that从句 ,或者直接将宾语放在 中间 ,变成take ... for granted。

10. peer : “同辈” ;此处和上文 的counterpart为近义词 ,本文对 同一概念的词使用了不 同的表达方式 ,体现了作者 良好 的词汇驾驭能力 。

11. narrow: “变窄、缩短”常用作形容词 ,此处作动词用 ,常用搭配有 “narrow the gap”等。

12. acquire: “获得 、获取” ;通常搭配knowledge ,skill ,wealth ,information等 。

题目3:The Value of University Life

写作要求

Nowadays some students feel bewildered about the value of college life. Apart from acquiring knowledge, what else could college students get from the time spent in a university?

What’s your opinion about the value of college life?

Write on Answer Sheet Two a composition of about 200 words on the following topic:

The Value of University Life

You are to write in three parts.

In the fi rst part, state specifi cally what your idea is.

In the second part, provide reasons to support your opinion OR describe your idea.

In the last part, bring what you have written to a natural conclusion or a summary.

Marks will be awarded for content, organization, grammar and appropriateness. Failure to

follow the instructions may result in a loss of marks.

审题思路

本题是一道个人观点表达型的题目,说明对大学生活价值的看法,可以从下面几点着手 :

思路 :1.肯定大学生活有价值 ;

2.大学生活的价值体现可以从大学教育对人生观的影响、知识的获取 、各种能力的培养等方面来讲 。

The Value of University Life

There are reports about businessmen, tars, celebrities who are undereducated and even did not graduate from high school. Therefore, some college students doubt about the value of college life. As far as I’m concerned, I’d say college life is the most valuable in the following aspects .

引言部分 :作者先说明有些学生对大学生活是否有价值产生怀疑的原因,然后开门见山地提出自己的观点,并用in the following aspects引出下文。

Time spent at a university is the most worthwhile period in a young person’s life. This is a time when a student begins to form his or her ideas about life in general. Attending classes and studying in the library keep a student busy and provide him or her with access to valuable information, adding to his or her knowledge base.

Campus life can also be rich and colorful. Most universities offer a variety of extracurricular activities such as sports events, contests, and other social gatherings, enabling the students to experience relief from study and homework. Students often form lifelong friendships through various experiences during university life.

主体部分:分为三个自然段,从获取知识、结交朋友、为未来做好准备三方面说明大学生活的价值所在。这三段的结尾句都是该段的总结句,使文章的逻辑非常清晰、结构紧凑.

During the time a student spends at university, he not only develops his intellectual11 abilities, but also develops social skills as well as knowledge and wisdom necessary for choosing a future career. By learning how to balance intense study and recreation , a student will be well prepared for the challenges of future responsibilities.

Therefore, it’s only too natural to draw the conclusion that university life, if enjoyed fully and made best use of, is very rewarding in various ways.

总结部分:作者用therefore自然引出结尾 ,并用 in various ways 呼应首段的following aspects,使文章整体感很强。

亮点回放

1. celebrities:“名人” ,比使用famous people来得正式 。

2. undereducated:“受教育不足的,未受良好教育的” ,也可以用poorly educated ,该词的使用显示了作者较大的词汇量 。

3. doubt about:“对……表示怀疑” ,注意与suspect之间的区别 。

4. aspect: “方面、方位” ;常用搭配为in this aspect(在这个方面 )。

5. worthwhile: “值得做的”;注意与worth和worthy之间的区别 ,另外worthwhile还常用于it is worthwhile to do sth.。

6. in general: “大体上、一般来说”;近义词有in the main ,generally (speaking) 。

7. add to:“增加” ;近义词为increase ,注意与add ... to和add up to的区别 。

8. base: “基地、基础、基线” ;此处也可以用foundation ,另外注意base作为形容词表示卑鄙的、不道德的”。

9. relief: “轻松、减轻”;注意与它搭配的介词是from 。

10. lifelong: “终身的” ;通常同学们都会使用all one's life来表示 “一辈子”这一概念,但用lifelong这一形容词更为简洁明了。

11. intellectual: “智力上的、聪明的” ;还可以作名词 ,表示“知识分子”。

12. intense: “强大的、强烈的、紧张的” ;这里的意思是“紧张的” ,很多同学会误写成nervous study ,当然此处也可以用busy来替代 。

13. recreation:“娱乐” ;该词的使用体现了作者较大的词汇量 。

14. only too ... to: 一般情况的too...to结构表示“太 ……而不能”,此处加上only就变为“非常……去做……”的意思了,不过too后面所接 的词得是正面词汇,这里表示的意思是“得出以下结论是非常自然的事情”。

15. rewarding:“有报酬的、值得的、有益的”。

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