爆笑儿童英文小笑话大全

在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编分享爆笑儿童英文小笑话，希望可以帮助大家!

爆笑儿童英文小笑话：Don't Kick

The little farm boy storms out of the house, mad about being ordered to do his chores. In the barnyard, he kicks the rooster. Near the barn, he kicked a hog. In the corral, he kicked the family's milk cow. His mother saw all this and stormed out after him.

"I saw you kick that rooster; just for that, you'll get no eggs. And I saw you kick that hog; just for that, you'll get no bacon. And I saw you kick the cow; just for that, you'll get no milk!"

His father heard the yelling, came out of the barn, tripping over the cat and nearly falling, after which, he booted the poor animal out of his way. The cat ran screeching into the barn.

The little boy looked up at his mother and said, "You want to tell him or shall I?"

爆笑儿童英文小笑话：I Know The Truth

At school, Little Johnny was told by a classmate that most adults hide at least one dark secret and this makes it very easy to blackmail them merely by saying, "I know the whole truth."

So Little Johnny decides to try it out. When he arrives home from school that day, he says to his mother, "I know the whole truth." His mother looks shocked, quickly finds $20, and gives it to him, saying, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, Little Johnny waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." His father looks shocked, quickly finds $40, and gives it to him, saying, "Just don't tell your mother."

The next morning, Little Johnny is on his way to school when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy decides to try again. "I know the whole truth."

The mailman drops his mailbag, throws opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real daddy a nice big hug!"

爆笑儿童英文小笑话：Is It Dead?

One of the teachers had a kindergartener come up to her and say that he had found a frog. The teacher asked if the frog was alive or dead.

The student said it was dead.

The teacher asked how he knew.

The boy said, "I pissed in its ear."

The teacher said, "You what?"

He said, "You know, I went to his ear and said, 'PSST!' and it didn't move. So it must be dead."

爆笑儿童英文小笑话：Going To The Bathroom

A group of third, fourth and fifth graders accompanied by two female teachers went on a field trip to the local racetrack to learn about thoroughbred horses and the supporting industry.

During the tour some of the children wanted to go to the toilet so it was decided that the girls would go with one teacher and the boys would go with the other.

As the teacher assigned to the boys waited outside the men's toilet, one of the boys came out and told her that he couldn't reach the urinal. Having no choice, the teacher went inside and began hoisting the little boys up by their armpits, one by one.

As she lifted one up by the armpits, she couldn't help but notice that he was unusually well-endowed for an elementary school child. "I guess you must be in the fifth," she said.

"No ma'am," he replied, "I'm in the seventh, riding Silver Arrow. Thanks for the lift anyhow."

爆笑儿童英文小笑话：Latitude & longitude

The teacher of the earth science class was lecturing on map reading.

After explaining about latitude, longitude, degrees and minutes the teacher asked, "Suppose I asked you to meet me for lunch at 23 degrees, 4 minutes north latitude and 45 degrees, 15 minutes east longitude...?"

After a confused silence, a voice volunteered, "I guess you'd be eating alone."