让人爆笑的英语笑话大全

笑话是日常生活中人们消遣娱乐的一种常见语言现象,其目的在于在会话过程中传递和激发幽默感。小编精心收集了让人爆笑的英语笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

让人爆笑的英语笑话：Bring Me a Glass of Milk 捎杯牛奶

At 2 a. m. Mrs. Culkin was convinced that she had heard a prowler in the living room. "Tiptoe downstairs," she told her husband. "Don't turn on the lights. Sneak1 up him before he knows what's happening."

Dutifully, Mr. Culkin put on his robe. Just as he reached the bedroom door, his wife added, "And when you come back, bring me a glass of milk."

半夜两点时，科尔肯太太确信自己听到客厅里有贼，就对丈夫说：“别开灯，轻手轻脚地下楼，悄悄地靠近他，别被他发觉。”

科尔肯先生义无反顾地披上外套，前去捉贼。刚走到卧室门口，他的妻子又加了一句：“回来的时候给我捎杯牛奶。”

让人爆笑的英语笑话：Flunking Math 数学没及格

My son, who made the dean's list in his freshman1 year at Ball State University in Muncie, Indiana, called home a few weeks after starting his sophomore2 year as a psychology3student.

"Mom," he said excitedly, "I have found the answer to surviving college! It isn't the grades that are so important, but the quality of what is learned and how it is applied4 to daily life. I'm lucky to be having these wonderful experiences!"

"And just what does this mean?" I asked.

"I'm flunking5 math." he replied.

我的儿子是印第安那市曼西尔波州立大学的学生，大学一年级的时候，他的名字就被列在了系主任的表扬名单上。大学二年级的时候，他学的是心理学。刚开学没几个星期，他就往家里打了一个电话。

“妈妈，”他兴奋地说，“我已经找到了在大学生存下去的答案!分数不是最重要的，重要的是具备如何把学到的知识应用于日常生活的素质。幸运的是，我拥有了这种奇妙的经历!”

“你说的这些究竟是什么意思?”我问道。

“我数学没及格。”他回答道。

让人爆笑的英语笑话：做自己不喜欢的事情

A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked1 his horn.

"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.

"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

一位农民和他的儿子坐着马车来到一条狭窄的小巷， 他们看到一个司机正往他们这个方向开来。两个方向2英里以内已经没有空间让他们擦身而过了。司机焦急地按着喇叭。

“假如你不往后退，”农民撸着袖子说，“我并不喜欢我将要必须去做的事。”司机甚是惊讶，挂了倒挡，退后了2英里，让马车先过去了。

“刚才你说你并不喜欢做的事是什么啊?”农民的儿子问。

“退后2英里。”农民回答。

让人爆笑的英语笑话：The Effectiveness of Advertisement 广告的威力

Some businessmen were talking about advertising1 on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。

At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer2 and he had once made an advertisement。

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。

"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。

"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."

"Did you get the dog back?"

"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."

一群商人正热烈地讨论在电视上做广告。他们中没有人做过，所以每个人都有自己的想法。

此时，格雷先生进来了。格雷是一个汽车经销商，他曾经做过一次广告。

“你们在讨论什么?”格雷先生问。

“广告有用不?”其中一位商人问。

“噢，有用，而且见效非常快。”格雷先生说，“我曾经发布了一条广告，要花100美金寻找一条丢失的看门狗。”

“你的狗找到了吗?”

“没，但是那个晚上我的三辆车被偷走了。”