短小经典的英语笑话阅读

2017-05-13

短小经典的英语笑话：Bad Drivers

There’s a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "Herman, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 280!" Herman says, "I know, I’m on Route 280 but there isn’t just one, there are hundreds!"

短小经典的英语笑话：I am a Busy Man 我是个忙人

One day a bunch of naughty children wanted to make fun of him and said to him: There are birds' eggs on that tree. Will you get them for us please? We can't climb up.

Loath to disappoint the children, he was ready to climb the tree. But knowing that themischievous(淘气的) youngsters would make off with his boots if he left them on the ground, he tied them to his waist-band before he started the climb.

We'll take care of your boots for you! the children chorused.

No, thank you! was he reply. I am a busy man. And as soon as I've got the eggs for you, I'll make my way home along the tree-tops.

有一天，一群顽皮的孩子想捉弄他，便对他说：那树上有鸟蛋，请你替我们拿下来好吗?我们爬不上去。他不想使孩子们失望，便准备爬上树去。但是他知道如果把靴子留在地上，这群顽皮的小鬼一定会把靴子拿走，于是他先把靴子系在腰带上，然后开始爬树。孩子们齐声说：我们会替你保管好你的靴子的。

他回答道：谢谢你们，不必了。我是个忙人。替你们取到蛋后，我就要沿着树顶走回家。

短小经典的英语笑话：An opponent lost his head

While making a long, dull speech, a politician received a great deal of heckling(诘问) from the gallery. Secondly, someone threw a cabbage(卷心菜，脑袋) onto the stage. "Ladies and gentlemen," said the politician , "I see that one of my opponents has lost his head."

短小经典的英语笑话：Thirteen

A man is walking by an insane asylum(精神病院) and hears all the residents chanting, "Thirteen! Thirteen!" Quite curious about all this, he finds a hole in the fence, looks in and someone pokes(刺，戳) him in the eye. Everyone in the asylum starts chanting "Fourteen! Fourteen!"

短小经典的英语笑话：King and Knave 国王和无赖

George Ⅲ asked the once wellknown wit, Horne Tooke,whether he could play cards.

Your Majesty, replied Tooke, I am a mere childwhere cards are concerned. I cannot even tell a King from a Knave.

乔治三世问一度大名鼎鼎的才子霍恩·图克，会不会玩纸牌。

陛下，图克回答说：在玩纸牌方面，我只不过是幼儿园的水平。我甚至分不清国王和无赖。

短小经典的英语笑话：Help! Doctor 急诊

"Help! Doctor! Please come quickly! My ten-year-old son has just swallowed a pen!" "Ok , I'll be right there. I'll be there in 10 to 20 minutes." "Good,but....what am I supposed to do in the meantime?" "Just use another pen!" “救命!医生!你赶快来!我那个十岁的小孩刚刚吞下去一支笔!” “喔!我马上过去，大概十分钟或二十分钟就会到了!” “是，不过在.....在这个中间我该怎么办呢?” “用别的笔嘛!”

短小经典的英语笑话：Your Grandfather 你爷爷

A well dressed young man demanded as soon as he entered the restaurant:

"Serve me, quick! Give me your best. I don't care the price."

Not like the way he talked, the waiter said to him: "Hey Buddy, it doesn't matter you have a lot of money. You are still son of somebody, and grandson of somebody else."

The young man raged: "Dare you! Tell me, who wants me to be his grandson?"

The waiter replied with ease: "Nobody. Just your grandfather."

一位衣冠楚楚的年青人一进饭店就大声嚷嚷：

“喂，有什么好菜尽管端上来，钱多少我不在乎。”

服务员听了很不是滋味：“哥儿们，钱多顶个屁，你不照样得做别人的儿子，就是有人要你做孙子你也不敢不做!”

年青人勃然大怒：“谁敢占老子的便宜?你说，是谁不要命了，胆敢要老子做他的孙子?”

服务员慢条斯理地答道：“你爷爷!”